I need some advice

[MercenaryYoureFired]

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Insomniator
A D average in high school? Seriously? Take the car away and lock her in her room until she gets at minimum a C.

I don't know where she goes to school, but in my old high school and most Ive heard of, you literally have to do nothing and probably get suspended a few times
to end up with a D average.

QFT. Getting a D avg in high school is terrible. I literally NEVER studied all my 4 years in high school and had a B+ average

That's because the education system when you were in high school was broken; showing up literally got you an A. These days general education is becoming harder and more demanding, that along with rising social pressures means a lower national average of grades.


OP- Try putting huge emphasis on the importance of academics in regards to her future instead of using threats or attempting to 'beat' good grades into her. Make sure it's a serious, formal discussion and give her another chance. If she fails again ensure that she feels the consequences 100%; if it comes down to this it's important she knows you're not bluffing, you have to stick to punishment, and be consistent about punishing her.

-MYF

 

[Plumcuda1]

Originally posted by: BudAshes
It sounds like you pretty much failed her already, just give her the damn jeep and hope she marries rich.

I failed her? how so? because I am not living with her mother? That wasnt my choice.


She is done with work. Ski season has ended and so has her job.

 

[cherrytwist]

Originally posted by: waffleironhead
Seems like she spent too much time working for the money and not enough time cracking the books. Let her know the grades were/are more important.

Common sense ftw.

 

[Plumcuda1]

She has been an honor student a few times. So a B should be no problem for her ... and she agreed.

 

[Skunkwourk]

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1

Originally posted by: BudAshes
It sounds like you pretty much failed her already, just give her the damn jeep and hope she marries rich.

I failed her? how so? because I am not living with her mother? That wasnt my choice.


She is done with work. Ski season has ended and so has her job.

hes just being an asshole...

what he wrote and whats in his sig don't add up.

 

[tasmanian]

Just take it away until her grades come back up. Also where i live colleges dont accept d's so she better get her ass in summer/night school.

 

[KarmaPolice]

Originally posted by: MercenaryYoureFired

Originally posted by: Quintox

Originally posted by: Insomniator
A D average in high school? Seriously? Take the car away and lock her in her room until she gets at minimum a C.

I don't know where she goes to school, but in my old high school and most Ive heard of, you literally have to do nothing and probably get suspended a few times
to end up with a D average.

QFT. Getting a D avg in high school is terrible. I literally NEVER studied all my 4 years in high school and had a B+ average

That's because the education system when you were in high school was broken; showing up literally got you an A. These days general education is becoming harder and more demanding, that along with rising social pressures means a lower national average of grades.


OP- Try putting huge emphasis on the importance of academics in regards to her future instead of using threats or attempting to 'beat' good grades into her. Make sure it's a serious, formal discussion and give her another chance. If she fails again ensure that she feels the consequences 100%; if it comes down to this it's important she knows you're not bluffing, you have to stick to punishment, and be consistent about punishing her.

-MYF

Are you serious when saying that general education is getting harder? I was terrible in high school ( Did quite well in college tho ) and I hear it has gotten a lot worse.

I don't think your issue is as clear cut as you make it. You should talk to her about why she is doing badly at school. See if she is depressed or if she is having a rough time with something. I was grounded in high school for bad grades and honestly, it didn't help at all. Its hard to say what to do cause none of us know your situation exactly. Maybe renegotiate a new contract?

 

[Mr Pickles]

Originally posted by: BudAshes
It sounds like you pretty much failed her already, just give her the damn jeep and hope she marries rich.

Stfu.

The contract idea was great. Its good to hear that she has to earn it. I think you should really follow through with the contract. An agreement is an agreement and she didn't follow her end of the bargain in full. Stick to your guns, she'll learn.

I'm glad she agreed. Good luck man.

 

[rasczak]

she's still not too old for a spanking...

 

[dbk]

Summer school...maybe limit her use of the jeep.

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: rsd
Take away the car until she gets her grades up, seems simple to me.

+1.

 

[kranky]

However you choose to discuss it, make sure it is clear that YOU are not taking the Jeep away, her choice to not maintain a B average did that. Tell her you wanted her to have it, that's why you already bought it for her.

If nothing else, she has to accept that the only reason she won't have the Jeep is because of what SHE did. She may not like it, but that's the way it is. The only person keeping her from having the Jeep is her. Be sympathetic. There's no need to be hard-nosed about it because all you are doing is letting her know that the contract terms are being enforced.

I suspect she will beg, plead and whine, but all you need to say is "I wish I could let you have the Jeep, but we agreed on the terms, and we are both going to keep our word."

Now if she shows some extra effort, like voluntarily going to summer school and getting good grades, you might want to reconsider, but I would let it be up to her to see if she wants to put forth the effort.

 

[Homerboy]

Originally posted by: rasczak
she's still not too old for a spanking...

I'll offer my services.


Come ATOT!!! This many responses and not one asking for pics?

 

[Xstatic1]

OMG!

u should be asking herself how she went from an honor student to a D student moreso than if u should give her a Jeep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . obviously something happened where she's not even trying. a D average sounds like she's not doing her homework, and i wouldn't be surprised if she's even attending class. have u or her mother even tried contacting her teachers to find out what's really going on (like attendance, homework, participation)?

look at the bigger picture here. in 3 years time, she's supposed to be an "adult". do u think she's well on her way? have either of u even tried talking to her to find out what could possibly be troubling her?

one of the posts above mentions failing her as a parent. and the way it's looking, i'd say u're clearly headed there.

 

[frostedflakes]

I'd tend to be a bit more lenient if she was trying, but ended up with a C in one class or something like that. All D's, though (even in gym), that's an obvious sign she's probably not even going to class. It may be tough but I'd put your foot down. Give her the opportunity to buy the Jeep if she has the $4k (if you want to be a real hardass, maybe even charge her interest for the "loan"), but I don't think she deserves to have $3k of it to be payed for considering her abysmal grades.

 

[Muadib]

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1
The biggest fear we have is that if I do take the jeep away she will just not try at all .....

Do you really think shes trying now???? You gotta man up, and be her father! It already sounds like shes on the fast track to failure. You giving in & giving her the car certainly won't help matters.

 

[rasczak]

Originally posted by: Xstatic1
OMG!

u should be asking herself how she went from an honor student to a D student moreso than if u should give her a Jeep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . obviously something happened where she's not even trying. a D average sounds like she's not doing her homework, and i wouldn't be surprised if she's even attending class. have u or her mother even tried contacting her teachers to find out what's really going on (like attendance, homework, participation)?

look at the bigger picture here. in 3 years time, she's supposed to be an "adult". do u think she's well on her way? have either of u even tried talking to her to find out what could possibly be troubling her?

one of the posts above mentions failing her as a parent. and the way it's looking, i'd say u're clearly headed there.

sounds to me like she worked a bit too much? how much was she working off hand? also sounds like she just got seriously lazy about school. the jeep should be the least of your worries at this point and you should have a talk with her about college and life and the work required to succeed.

 

[Saulbadguy]

:camera:'s?

 

[SinfulWeeper]

Yeah well... at least you kept your side of the bargin. I was a str8 C-F student all the way to 10th grade. The problem was not being able to do the school work. That was the easy part. I found school unchallenging with the sole exception of English. But thats not at all to be expected, english is one of the more challenging languages on earth. No my problem was ditching school. I would miss over 3/4 of the school year. Finally one year right before school started he said at the end of the school year he would give me $500 for every A I earn and $50 for every B. I aced that year with the exception on 1 B+ ( Physical fitness... the easiest of the classes >.< ). Come the end of the school year he retorted. Well I am not gunna pay. That will cost over ten thousand dollars. Needless to say I was pissed and purposely failed every grade thereafter till I dropped out of school.
When I was 20 years old I decided I better get my diploma instead of a GED since the legal cut off age in Alaska for high school is 21. So I re-enrolled in school on accelerated courses to graduate... err I mean see the hawt chicks in PE again and managed to squeeze in 17 credits in one school year Of course there was no accelerated typing course. One of only 2 standard class in which if I were attending, I would not have been able to finish school that year. I so did not take that course which was required by state law. The principal did the most awesome thing however. Since I typed out all my reports. He counted the reports as my typing class and gave me full passing credit

I did get suspended once during that school year for a week. I was of legal age to smoke cigarettes. So one day when it was storming out, I went into the designated smoking area for teachers and lit up. Apparently even though I was old enough, students are not allowed to smoke on school grounds.

 

[jdini76]

Well based on what you wrote I feel compelled to put my .02 in. You said she paid the $1000 part of the deal. Do you know what that means to me? That means she has a good work ethic. School and studying isn't for everyone. Take it from a D - C average struggling student in my day. Although I graduated college it was a constant struggle for me. I am making a good living now. Before making any decisions on what to do I would talk with her and ask her what she wants to do with her future. She may have her own plan. Some plans don't require school. I say as long as she isn't failing any courses she will be fine.

 

[olds]

The contract states that breaking any rule will result in losing the jeep.

/thread

 

[olds]

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1
The biggest fear we have is that if I do take the jeep away she will just not try at all .....

You have parenting a troubled teen all wrong. You can't make a kid/teen do anything. You can force them into action but they don't learn life lessons from it. You teach them there are consequences to their actions and you lead by example. When they are 25 - 30, the lessons will sink in and help them with the rest of their lives.
Then you will get back the love you lost while raising them.
While they say they hate you now, they don't really mean it. It's the hormones talking.

 

[Toasthead]

Originally posted by: rsd
Take away the car until she gets her grades up, seems simple to me.

thats about your only choice or she will never respect/listen to you again.

 

[Plumcuda1]

Originally posted by: Toasthead

Originally posted by: rsd
Take away the car until she gets her grades up, seems simple to me.

thats about your only choice or she will never respect/listen to you again.

Well if I take the jeep away.... its gone... for good.

 

[Baked]

How I reech theeez kizzzz?