I need some advice

[EGGO]

Hate to say it, but she broke the contract. However, from the sound of the OP, you didn't say it'd be gone for good, just taken away, right?

I have no idea how it is with her and her mother but there could just be trouble at home there, but 16 years old is that age when practically every girl snaps back. It's nothing new, don't hold that against her, that's a different issue altogether that needs to be worked out in my opinion. The Jeep has to do with the contract, not her attitude with the mother.

In my opinion, she should at least get the chance to get it back. Whether or not you want her to pay a few more or not along with the grades coming up as a penalty is up to you. She doesn't know how high the bar can go, so give her the attitude of, "I know you can do better" rather than settling with this.

 

[daveymark]

use the 1k she gave you to pay for a tutor. then have her pay another 1k to have the jeep back once the grades are up

I can't believe she's got a D average, she must not be asian

 

[KarmaPolice]

I did NOTHING and got a c+ avg

 

[frostedflakes]

Originally posted by: jdini76

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1

Originally posted by: jdini76
Can I ask you this? If she got her grades up, but didn't pay the $1000, what would you do?

The money was stated as "up to $1000" so there was room for her to slide there. I wanted her to maintain the grades more than pay the money.

Why did you add money to the mix to begin with. Most adults don't have to deal with their job AND going to school. you made it a contractual obligation with heavy weight on the grades. I would have just made her Grades the only condition.

I would extend her contract to another school year. Withholding the jeep until then. I think you added too much workload on her. she got freaked out about the money and concentrated too much on that as a result let her studies falter. I would suggest marking the money as complete and giving her another chance to get her grades up. maybe add a college acceptance letter to the mix. Consider it a contract renegotiation.

Most adults don't have people paying for 3/4 of their vehicle either. I think the terms were very fair. And as mentioned earlier, it takes an incredible lack of effort to get a D in high school. She got a D in gym for crying out loud. It's obvious she's skipping class and not even trying. I would not want to reward that kind of behavior.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Ok, I didn't read through all the posts so, if someones already asked sorry. Who the Hell buys a 16 year old a car? I don't care if she worked hard to pay for part of it. What part of 16 year old and automobile sounds like a good idea?

 

[frostedflakes]

I think in quite a few states you can get a full license at 16 (I know in KS you can, it's 14 for restricted). Sounds like she has the money, could have gone out and bought a $1000 beater if she really wanted a car. OP probably just figured if she's going to be driving anyway, might as well help her out so she can get something that is safer and more reliable. At least that was the main justification for my parents helping me out with my first car, they didn't want me driving around in a death trap.

 

[Bateluer]

Take the jeep away. A D average is absolutely pathetic. You can get higher than that simply by showing up to class.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Originally posted by: frostedflakes
I think in quite a few states you can get a full license at 16 (I know in KS you can, it's 14 for restricted). Sounds like she has the money, could have gone out and bought a $1000 beater if she really wanted a car. OP probably just figured if she's going to be driving anyway, might as well help her out so she can get something that is safer and more reliable. At least that was the main justification for my parents helping me out with my first car, they didn't want me driving around in a death trap.

I don't care if you're an 'A' student making big bucks, a 16 year old driving anything is a bad idea.

 

[frostedflakes]

Depends on the person IMO. There are some 16 year olds I would feel more comfortable sitting shotgun with than some 30 year olds. But you're right, in general the teenage demographic is more reckless behind the wheel. The girls probably less so than the guys, but I wouldn't put it past Ms. Rebel to get behind the wheel drunk and total her Jeep or something like that.

I was just saying that if my kid was getting a car anyways, I'd rather help them out so they can get something safer than have them drive around in a <$1000 piece of junk.

 

[sjwaste]

Did she get a D average because she was working 30 hrs a week to pay you for the car? Or did she have the free time to study but didn't?

 

[SpunkyJones]

Originally posted by: rsd
Take away the car until she gets her grades up, seems simple to me.

Nothing much to add, she needs to learn that you need to keep your promises. :thumbsup:

 

[SampSon]

Forget the jeep, ask her how much dope she's smoking and who she is stealing pills from.

 

[frostedflakes]

Originally posted by: sjwaste
Did she get a D average because she was working 30 hrs a week to pay you for the car? Or did she have the free time to study but didn't?

As mentioned earlier, she got a D in gym. You get a D in gym because you don't go to class, or go to class and do absolutely nothing (even if you're out of shape, I don't think I ever knew a phys ed teacher that wouldn't give a student an A or B for putting in the effort). Therefore, it's a safe bet that she didn't bother going to any of her other classes either. To me this suggests that her bad grades were due to lack of effort, not work.

 

[Farang]

She doesn't have a license she shouldn't have the car to begin with

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Take away the car, its simple.

If i was 15, I would have gotten smacked around if I broke a contract with my parents (Nevermind getting a C). Taking a car away seems like a petty thing.

 

[Slew Foot]

D average? Crap, send her to the convent, maybe they can knock some sense into her.

 

[dirtboy]

Then she loses the Jeep.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1
Okay, here's the deal. Last summer, I bought my daughter (15) a jeep wrangler. For the record, she lives with her mother 50 miles away. I typed up a contract for her so she would have to "work" for the jeep. I don't think anyone ben no spaceefits from having things given to them. So, the contract was made.

Terms of the contract:
1) Maintain a B grade average the entire school year.
2) get a job when she turns 16 and pay $1000 for the jeep. (for the record the jeep costs 4000)

That's about it to get the jeep. Once she got it she had other terms .... but those do not matter at this point.

A huge plus for her is that she has paid the $1000 by busing tables all winter.
The HUGE down side is her report card came ..... she has a D average. ( High C average last quarter)

I am really torn as what I should do. Part of me feels that there is no way I can reward her for those grades ... What would that teach her? That she can break a contract and not be punished......

Part of me is proud how well she paid for the jeep.

The contract states that breaking any rule will result in losing the jeep.

I know if I don't give her the jeep she will probably hate me. As it is I only she her about once a month.

I don't have a lot of hands on experience being a father ... since she has always lived with her mother.

My daughter is 16 now ... bring very disrespectful to he rmother. WTF? She should have been getting her license this month but her mother canceled her appointment due to her attitude.

Sorry for the rambling ... but I am confused and I wanted to add what I thought was important to this.

1) don't post drunk and if you weren't you need to seek education. That post was beyond 'grammer nazi'.

2) Don't give a gift with 'rules'.

 

[TehMac]

Originally posted by: Insomniator
A D average in high school? Seriously? Take the car away and lock her in her room until she gets at minimum a C.

I don't know where she goes to school, but in my old high school and most Ive heard of, you literally have to do nothing and probably get suspended a few times
to end up with a D average.

Times have changed. Sputnik really accelerated school, but seriously, that's no excuse. Your daughter simply hasn't been buckling down, so you shouldn't reward that.

Do you really think you could improve the situation by breaking your contract to her?

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1

Originally posted by: Insomniator
A D average in high school? Seriously? Take the car away and lock her in her room until she gets at minimum a C.

I don't know where she goes to school, but in my old high school and most Ive heard of, you literally have to do nothing and probably get suspended a few times
to end up with a D average.

Worst part is a D in gym class.....

It means she has been ditching with her friends. Frankly, you need to talk to her mother and bring her under your care. Raise her how you were raised, if you were raised worth a damn.

Originally posted by: frostedflakes

Originally posted by: sjwaste
Did she get a D average because she was working 30 hrs a week to pay you for the car? Or did she have the free time to study but didn't?

As mentioned earlier, she got a D in gym. You get a D in gym because you don't go to class, or go to class and do absolutely nothing (even if you're out of shape, I don't think I ever knew a phys ed teacher that wouldn't give a student an A or B for putting in the effort). Therefore, it's a safe bet that she didn't bother going to any of her other classes either. To me this suggests that her bad grades were due to lack of effort, not work.

Yeah, she's not stupid, she just isn't disciplined and she isn't showing up. You need to work something out, where you can guarantee she goes to class.

Chances are, it's her friends and everything.

But with this lack of faith, who knows what? She doesn't have a license, that's bad news, she might cause a car accident and then how would you feel?


You need to grow some balls, get off the alcohol or whatever, and act like a father even if you forgot to stick on a rubber that one night.

Her life could be ruined unless you straighten her out...and that doesn't mean giving her whatever she damned well wants.

 

[Plumcuda1]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: Plumcuda1
Okay, here's the deal. Last summer, I bought my daughter (15) a jeep wrangler. For the record, she lives with her mother 50 miles away. I typed up a contract for her so she would have to "work" for the jeep. I don't think anyone ben no spaceefits from having things given to them. So, the contract was made.

Terms of the contract:
1) Maintain a B grade average the entire school year.
2) get a job when she turns 16 and pay $1000 for the jeep. (for the record the jeep costs 4000)

That's about it to get the jeep. Once she got it she had other terms .... but those do not matter at this point.

A huge plus for her is that she has paid the $1000 by busing tables all winter.
The HUGE down side is her report card came ..... she has a D average. ( High C average last quarter)

I am really torn as what I should do. Part of me feels that there is no way I can reward her for those grades ... What would that teach her? That she can break a contract and not be punished......

Part of me is proud how well she paid for the jeep.

The contract states that breaking any rule will result in losing the jeep.

I know if I don't give her the jeep she will probably hate me. As it is I only she her about once a month.

I don't have a lot of hands on experience being a father ... since she has always lived with her mother.

My daughter is 16 now ... bring very disrespectful to he rmother. WTF? She should have been getting her license this month but her mother canceled her appointment due to her attitude.

Sorry for the rambling ... but I am confused and I wanted to add what I thought was important to this.

1) don't post drunk and if you weren't you need to seek education. That post was beyond 'grammer nazi'.

2) Don't give a gift with 'rules'.

Thanks for your input ..... You add nothing to this thread.

 

[tomt4535]

Tell her she needs to either give you more money or the keys. She knew that if she didnt do good in school that she would have to pay the consequences. Dont back down, or she will run all over you forever.

 

[Tobolo]

Your right. No one learns by always getting things. What does it say to her that her dad won't stand by the contract. Seems like crappy but simple answer

 

[Pacfanweb]

No grades, no car. Had the same thing happen to me with my dad over a motorcycle when I was a kid. I didn't get the grades and he sold it.

 

[wirelessenabled]

My 16 yr old son is a ski racer. Deal (contract) with him is straight A's or no ski racing.

Had to cut him some slack as a Frosh ... got a B+ in PE!! I let that slide but wouldn't have if it was any other class.

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: wirelessenabled
My 16 yr old son is a ski racer. Deal (contract) with him is straight A's or no ski racing.

Had to cut him some slack as a Frosh ... got a B+ in PE!! I let that slide but wouldn't have if it was any other class.

Don't take this the wrong way...i'm not trying to be a dick about it...but...

How the hell does a ski racer...that (it seems) is a straight A student...get a B+ in PE???