i still hate my dad

[Phokus]

Originally posted by: MisterServer
btw i'm in college right now. if there is one person in this world i resent and hate the most it's my dad.. he constantly criticizes me, is devoid of any kind of emotion except for anger and contempt, and makes staying at home painful for me. Anything i do, he always puts me down. if i bring home a good grade like an A, he'll say why didn't u get an A+. And if i bring home an A+ he'll say that the class was too ez and i better have gotten an A+. He disapproves of my gf because she's a different ethnicity and its too hard to tell her that so i haven't introduced her to my family yet cuz of my dad. it's just sad to me that i used to look up to him and he never supported me in anything i was interested in. if there is one wish i could make is that i will grow up and become nothing like him, he is the antithesis of the father i'd like to be.. whenever i start thinking about my family i get depressed cuz the one person i expect ot be there for me with guy stuff is my dad but he just calls me a sissy if i bring up anything dealing with emotions. this makes it hard for me to come home because i do want to spend time with my mom but being constantly criticized by my dad is just too much and i honestly feel like socking him in the head sometimes.. sorry for ranting im done now.. go lakers

Wow, your story is about 80% of mine. My dad is a hardass conservative, we never get along.

 

[rbhawcroft]

so quitely slake a revenge, when you leave home freeze him out

 

[UberNeuman]

there is nothing wrong with not "getting along" - but feeding into what others tell you is... -and to those who read this must find what is true to them...

 

[LiLRiceBoi]

I have the same problems with my parents (both). My mom does most the criticizing, but I get crap from both of them. I hope it will be better when I go to college in fall 2003...

Good luck with your parents, there wasnt/isnt any hope in talking to mine... they dont even listen to eachother.

 

[joohang]

You are in college. Look for ways to move out.

 

[TrueBlueLS]

Hey... just remember that your dad wants to see the best for you. Mine's kind of like that too. I never realized it until my freshman year at college, but when he lost his job due to the company going out of business and not being able to find a job... You've only got one set of parents bro... make it worth while and you'll never regret it.

 

[Jumpem]

MisterServer, that all sounds VERY familiar. My dad is the same way. Everything that I did was never good enough, and if I did something unintentional that bothered him he would interpret it as me intentionally trying to piss him off. I have to pay for all of my own college tuition, which is a major hassle. On top of that I got kicked out a while ago for telling my mom "don't talk down to me". I think it stems from the fact that my parents are extremely religiopus and overly conservative. My aunt is tired of me staying with her so I have two days to go find an apartment. Life just pretty much sucks, and I'm trying not to be bitter, but it doesn't seem to work. Sorry, for the thread crapping, but I felt like ranting.

 

[xirtam]

As much as it sucks, try not to get bitter or resentful about it, or you'll wind up just like him. You don't want that. Be the better man.

 

[Blayze]

He disapproves of my gf because she's a different ethnicity and its too hard to tell her that so i haven't introduced her to my family yet cuz of my dad.

as sad as it is... most of my family is like this Guess thats what you get for living in Redneckville

 

[tallest1]

If I were in your shoes, I'd write a letter to my father, tell him how I feel and state that I will refuse all contact from him except though handwritten letter form. That way, you're able to communicate more clearly without the BS.

If he replies with a letter that says "I hate you", thats when you ditch him for good.

 

[Carbo]

Another, "I'm a victim" thread? Please, stop the whining and go tell it to Oprah.

 

[tkim]

haven't read all the posts but (assuming u are korean) thats the way korean parents, atleast 1st generation, are. they are too wound up on grades and being the best. it is sad.

most of the people i know who come from families like this usually turn out bad. but you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. do what you gotta do and just dont repeat the cycle.

i feel you...being korean and all. (disregard if youre not korean )

btw, ignore these "brady bunch" perfect family retards. they're god's gift to mankind and are too cool for this "whining" us common folk do.

 

[torient]

Originally posted by: Carbo
Another, "I'm a victim" thread? Please, stop the whining and go tell it to Oprah.

lol!

seriously though, stop victimizing yourself. The bottom line is, the problem it not him, its YOU. And you are doing yourself the most common and the worst form of emotional and psychological harm by blaming and accusing him when the only person you have to blame and accuse is yourself. I know, im a 1st gen korean myself. I realized that all those times i cried wolf for pity were not only egoistic and naiive, but also extremely damaging psychologically. I hope you can see this.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

As long as you are not yet truly financialy independant you need to be careful with breaking contact. It sux having to go back on your knees to beg for money in such a situation. If you can support yourself talk about it, and make it clear that it is your life, and you make your own choices. If he can't live with it you lessen the contact and just visit your mom when he's not home and such, just to make him feel like he's losing you totally. If he's such an asshole that he doesn't care about it then it might be a good time to wonder if you want contact with such a person at all.

 

[Carbo]

As long as you are not yet truly financialy independant you need to be careful with breaking contact. It sux having to go back on your knees to beg for money in such a situation.

So, Skyclad, you see your dad as, first and foremost, your personal checking account to be used on an as needed basis. Do you give anything in this relationship, or do you waltz through life with a sense of entitlement?

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: Carbo

As long as you are not yet truly financialy independant you need to be careful with breaking contact. It sux having to go back on your knees to beg for money in such a situation.

So, Skyclad, you see your dad as, first and foremost, your personal checking account to be used on an as needed basis. Do you give anything in this relationship, or do you waltz through life with a sense of entitlement?

No, I was never in this situation, but I do know of people who broke contact and then noted they weren't financially independant yet.
If his dad is indeed a total asshole who won't chance and doesn't care a single bit about his son then I don't see them getting close and cudly all of a sudden. Then unless he really can't manage on his own he is better off alone. If his dad freaks out when he tries to talk about it and kicks him out he needs to be able to depend on himself only. Also if he talks about it and makes it clear how he feels about it their relationship may never be the same again.

It might not be nice to lose contact with him, but living a hell created and sustained by him is not much fun either.

 

[aimn]

Sounds like your dad is a sick man. It is sad that you hate someone for being an unhealthy human being. I know he is doing the best he can do, with what he has to work with. I would pray for him, cant hurt. Hate is a strong word, careful using it.
The last thing I said to my dad was "F U !" "you raise your hand to me again, it will be the last time you do it! This time, I will kill you!"
My dad was killed in an auto accident not long after that. I sure am happy that is the last thing he heard coming out of his sons mouth. My dad was a sick man, but I do realize now, that he did the best he could do.

 

[ProviaFan]

I usually get along pretty well with my dad (fortunately), but some things just get on my nerves occasionally (sorry, but I gotta vent somewhere, and this thread seems like the right place)...
For example, he just has this obsession against sleeveless shirts - "just because." There is no reason what-so-ever for this dislike of his, but yet he feels that he must force it upon me (at least he's consistant, in that he doesn't wear them himself).
Another thing is that he feels that I must believe the way he does, or else he thinks he's a failure. He is very conservative (you guys here would probably call it ultra-ultra-ultra-conservative ), and I'm still conservative, but not anywhere near as much as he is; this makes him upset sometimes. This includes music - while he's very much a classical and jazz person, I prefer some of that "hideous, modern music" (as he calls it). To him, even old groups like Boston, Aerosmith, et. al. are considered "heavy metal," and "evil". Thus, all I can say is thank God for winmx and headphones.

 

[MisterServer]

guys, i still hate my dad.. but i'll learn to live with it like everything else

 

[CrazyDe1]

Man, he needs to get on you more...obviously he didn't do a good job cuase you're a lakers fan Any right parent woudl beat the crap outta their kid if they were a lakers fan...cause god knows I wouldn't want my kid to be laker's fan.

 

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: d33pt
speaking of dad's... my dad was on his way to visit me..and i just got a call from my mom (who is riding with him) that they missed my exit and are in MEXICO?!??!?! first i thought they were joking but i realized they weren't.. i mean... i live in san diego, but it's about 45 mins to mexico.. i have no idea how my dad did that..he is not THAT old yet.. oh well.. i love my dad but sometimes he is so dumb. hopefully they get back across the border ok and get here soon..

LOL! Missed exit and got to the wrong country