i still hate my dad

[MisterServer]

btw i'm in college right now. if there is one person in this world i resent and hate the most it's my dad.. he constantly criticizes me, is devoid of any kind of emotion except for anger and contempt, and makes staying at home painful for me. Anything i do, he always puts me down. if i bring home a good grade like an A, he'll say why didn't u get an A+. And if i bring home an A+ he'll say that the class was too ez and i better have gotten an A+. He disapproves of my gf because she's a different ethnicity and its too hard to tell her that so i haven't introduced her to my family yet cuz of my dad. it's just sad to me that i used to look up to him and he never supported me in anything i was interested in. if there is one wish i could make is that i will grow up and become nothing like him, he is the antithesis of the father i'd like to be.. whenever i start thinking about my family i get depressed cuz the one person i expect ot be there for me with guy stuff is my dad but he just calls me a sissy if i bring up anything dealing with emotions. this makes it hard for me to come home because i do want to spend time with my mom but being constantly criticized by my dad is just too much and i honestly feel like socking him in the head sometimes.. sorry for ranting im done now.. go lakers

 

[Danman]

Ouch, that sucks man.

 

[roncarter]

kick his azz

 

[HappyPuppy]

The good that can come out of this is that you will know how not to treat your children. For every negative there is a balancing positive. Take the positive out of this situation to make your life and the lives of those around you better. I hope you deal with this without becoming bitter. Good luck.

 

[UberNeuman]

Some people are like that... You must always do the best that "YOU" can and not pay too much attention to those --- even your dad... Life is like that much of the time - even if you think you should listen to others.....

 

[d33pt]

speaking of dad's... my dad was on his way to visit me..and i just got a call from my mom (who is riding with him) that they missed my exit and are in MEXICO?!??!?! first i thought they were joking but i realized they weren't.. i mean... i live in san diego, but it's about 45 mins to mexico.. i have no idea how my dad did that..he is not THAT old yet.. oh well.. i love my dad but sometimes he is so dumb. hopefully they get back across the border ok and get here soon..

 

[etalns]

Really sorry to hear that MisterServer, have you ever tried to talk to him about it?

 

[Gooberlx2]

I hope you deal with this without becoming bitter
Seems like it's already gotten to that point.

I don't suppose telling him you feel he's been a terrible father to his face will make the situation any better. I honestly can't think of any decent advice for your. If you do want to have a better relationship then maybe you should get advice from a campus counseler.

 

[MisterServer]

Qosis: yea but this is the type of "emotion related" talk that'll get him criticizing me again.. calling me a sissy and such

 

[UberNeuman]

Mister - you seem to have something "real" going on - so don't mind others, okay... Speak your piece and let the chip falls where they may...

 

[etalns]

Ugh, that's awful. I'm really sorry to hear that, maybe you should speak to your mom about it and she may be able to relay the message better to your dad.

 

[MisterServer]

i guess i've given up on the hope that'll he'll become more supportive of me. what i'd really want is to lose this bitterness that's taken a hold of my life.. it's affected everything i do and how i think. basically, i want to do this for ME not for my family, sorry if that sounds selfish.. it probably is but i dont care anymore. trying to forget about my dad is too hard, it works for a while but everything points back eventually to your family.. and from there it's downhill for me..

 

[wfbberzerker]

the thing i would do is to tell him to fvck off (literally). it seems that he feels he is free to criticize you without any response, and unless you stand up to him, he will continue to do so. standing up to him would definitely shock him. of course, you can never talk to him again, but i dont think that would be so great in the long run.

 

[UberNeuman]

You must always follow your true feelings.... Will it be easy? Never! Never! But, you must and will follow your heart...

 

[wyvrn]

Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
The good that can come out of this is that you will know how not to treat your children. For every negative there is a balancing positive. Take the positive out of this situation to make your life and the lives of those around you better. I hope you deal with this without becoming bitter. Good luck.

Says Yoda. Listen to Yoda, he is wise

 

[bozack]

good luck man, my father was a major ace hole and even after living with him and knowing that I wouldn't want to be like him..some of the things rub off and you might notice some similarities when you get older, you just have to do your best to control that (it is tough though)...

but others are right, and chances are overall you will be nothing like him, which would be a good thing.

 

[NorthRiver]

Your fathers only way of showing emotion is thru putting you down. My grandfather was the same way. I knew that he loved my very much, but he could not let me know it I never got to meet my real dad because he died when I was 16. My grandfather was my dad. He passed away in 1990, after I graduated. Don't hate your dad, he won't be around forever!

 

[Rickr]

 

[bandXtrb]

I can relate, my dad is kind of like that too.

He is condescending. He makes fun me for studying computers. He doesn't think its intellectual enough, he'd rather me be a lawyer. He doesn't think the computers & technology field is respectable work. He doesn't understand anything about it either-- He pictures me working in a dark basement, laying down cables, and doing other grunt work.

He insults my physical appearance, such as my facial features, and the fact that I wear glasses. He tells me that no female will ever find me attractive.

The worst part, he makes fun of my hobbies. I like to play guitar and piano and he always likes to tell me how much I stink, that I haven't improved at all, that I will never learn how to play properly, and that I don't know anything about music. He insults my taste in music (hip-hop). If he sees me sitting at my computer, he might stare at me like I am doing something so horrible, wasting time, when its no worse than him watching tv.

I feel that my dad has sucked all the good out of my life. I think he has contributed greatly to the "problems" I've been having in the past few years. I think my actions and thoughts over these last few years were subconsciously focused on getting acceptance from him, despite me not believing so. I've had it, its driving me mad, and I need to get a stable job and escape as soon as possible. However, what scares me is the thought that moving out will still not free me from his expectations of me.

 

[gopunk]

i have a friend who's father is like that.... she's basically given up and decided he's just like that. dunno, i guess if you can do that, that would be best.... move on, i mean. seems like it would be tough to do though.

 

[gopunk]

He makes fun me for studying computers. He doesn't think its intellectual enough, he'd rather me be a lawyer. He doesn't think the computers & technology field is respectable work.

wtf??? that's kind of weird... he wants you to be more intellectual and have a more respectable field, and he chooses law? :Q

 

[5489]

i hate it when my dad compares me to other people that are succesful.

 

[UberNeuman]

It goes to you achiving more than what he has... It's not an easy thing to face, but there it is...

 

[her209]

Sounds like Titus.

I think you should be happy and thankful that you have a father is so caring about your future.

 

[waggy]

i was in the same situation when i was younger.

finally at 17 me and my father had a nasty fight and i moved out (parents were divorced).

i moved inot my own place and didnt talk to my dad for 4 years. finally we talked and over time worked it out.

Now we are very close and am very happy he is in my life.

Good luck. you will need it. and dont ever give up on it.