Tell him in no uncertain terms that if he ever puts anything other than a beautiful naked woman close to your nuts again, you will remove his (nuts)and relocate them closer to his bowel for him.
If you're down and confused
And you don't remember
who you're talkin' to
Concentration slip away
'Cause your baby is so far away
Well, there's a rose
in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be
with the one you love, honey
Love the one you're with
Love the one you're with
Love the one you're with
Love the one you're with
Don't be angry,
don't be sad
Don't sit cryin'
over good times you've had
Of course the guys that are sexually insecure about their own sexuality will recommend some macho joke violent stuff, but you can just tell him that you're kinda of wondering if maybe he's gay and if he is, that's cool but thay you yourself are hetero, born and unalterable, of course unless you too are gay in which case, well, use protection.
Invite him to a poetry reading, engage in a deep thoughtful conversation about sexual orientations. Be sure to tell him that you are so secure in your own sexuality that you love discussing his inclinations to fondle your testicles with any available object, although you dont enjoy it as much as he does. After being sure that all involved are feeling good about being in touch with their deep feelings, you can share a group hug.
Here's a second vote for the 'talk about chicks 24/7 around him' idea.
This is a good plan for several reasons...
- You're PLAINLY showing him what your preference is
- It alleviates you from having to awkwardly ask him if he's fruity
- And unless he's a MORON, and not just a rope swallower, he'll get the hint that you're trying to tell him something
Of course, the direct route might be best. Saying something like..."Ya know Lucky Charms, we've been friends for 2 years and I consider you a good friend. But I'm straight and I'm not sure where you stand and I feel uncomfortable with you trying to 'rearrange my furniture'"
Maybe hes messing around with you. I know a lot of people where I live do stupid stuff like that to each other. Not all the time, but I have a few friends who punch each other in the nuts, or slap their nuts once in a while. But if this thing escalates into a everyday thing with him coming onto you, then yeah, he might be gay. Then again, be honest, and ask him if hes gay. Only thing can happen is yes or no. Can't hurt you.
Or maybe you and Sluggo, being so secure and all, could dress up in tutus and frolic around in front of him to sort of leave the impression he should seek different licks, you and the cod fish being just a bit too kinky to handle.
Why would it be any business of yours if he's gay or not? If he's hitting on you, then you can politely explain you're not interested. If he's not, then you're jumping to conclusions. Instead of asking the forum what to do, you should really talk to him...
no, its not okay for me to ask "politley" tell him i'm not interested, it'll be like i think that it was okay the past times that he "hit" on me. If was was going to tell him i'm not intersted, i'd just tell him "hey, f****t, back up from me"
Russ, for the longest time i thought it was Novell Certified Network Engineer..... lol.....
Not many cary the *Snicker* proud title of Novell certs... but they are CNE's and CNA's Actually Novell was the bomb during the 3.X days.. they died out after NDS, What a Pile if I've ever admin'd one.
Talk about girls and how much you like a particular one. Either that or ignore his "advances." If they get too pushy, then tell him that what he's doing is making you uncomfortable and could he please stop. Ask nicely, and he'll back off.
I, for one, vote for non-violence and just make it clear the next time something happens that you're his friend, and that it makes you uncomfortable when he does that. That will give him the info he needs to back off if he is indeed attracted to you. He may not be ready to "come out of the closet" and confide in you yet. Don't force the issue or you may lose him as a friend. Good luck.
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