I want to kill someone, but don't have kids or live in Florida.

[amdhunter]

Just go rub one out. You'll kill thousands of little amdhunter's in the process. After all, if the day ever came when they actually made it into a woman... actually, nvm, not sure why I'd say such a silly thing.

Good idea, I'll do it right now.

 

[amdhunter]

...and I'm done. That wasn't as satisfying.

 

[sixone]

...and I'm done. That wasn't as satisfying.

They're not really dead until they dry out. You could take them out on the sidewalk with a magnifying glass.

 

[amdhunter]

They're not really dead until they dry out. You could take them out on the sidewalk with a magnifying glass.

I'll need some sort of container to carry them outside. Will you be that container? :wub:

 

[SaDiZTiKStyLeZ]

Molest someone elses' kid. Get into fight. Kill them. Call it self-defense.

 

[wischeez]

Join the Taliban?

FTFY

 

[sixone]

I'll need some sort of container to carry them outside. Will you be that container? :wub:

Not if my life depended on it.

 

[pelov]

You can post an ad on craigslist.

Looking for a willing volunteer, Meiwes posted an advertisement at a website, The Cannibal Cafe, whose disclaimer mentions the distinction between reality and fantasy. Meiwes's post stated that he was "looking for a well-built 18- to 30-year-old to be slaughtered and then consumed".[3] Bernd Jürgen Brandes then answered the advertisement. Many other people responded to the advertisement, but backed out; Meiwes did not attempt to force them to do anything against their will.[4][5]
As is known from a videotape the two made when they met on 9 March 2001 in Meiwes's home in the small town of Rotenburg, Meiwes amputated Brandes' penis and the two men attempted to eat the penis together before Brandes was killed. Brandes had insisted that Meiwes attempt to bite his penis off. This did not work and ultimately, Meiwes used a knife to remove Brandes' penis. Brandes apparently tried to eat some of his own penis raw, but could not because it was too tough and, as he put it, "chewy". Meiwes then fried the penis in a pan with salt, pepper, wine and garlic; he then fried it with some of Brandes' fat but by then it was too burned to be consumed. He then chopped it up into chunks and fed it to his dog.[2]

Cannibal Cafe, Craigslist. Whatever. Same thing.

I just brightened your day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes

 

[Pray To Jesus]

What is this shit so his troll thread don't get locked?

Bless be the man who is willing to give his all to Jesus the begotten Son of God.

 

[Red Squirrel]

The trick is to not get caught. The safest targets are crooks. Chances are they did not tell anyone they were going to rob your house. they just randomly picked it and went.

So make your house attractive to crooks, perhaps have some money laying on the table or something visible from the window. Setup a good man trap in the basement, something with concrete walls and steel door that locks from outside or something. That man trap room should also look attractive. Maybe put a cheap lock that was "forgotten" to be locked. They'll open it to see inside, it should be L shaped to force them to the end to see what's in it, when they pass a laser the door shuts behind them and the oxygens level drop enough to force the person to be very sleepy, but not enough to kill them. It could also just be a very long narrow hole that is too narrow for them to climb out, with a rug over it. Though there's still a chance they can react fast enough when they fall.

Chances are no one will really be looking for this victim, at most there will be some kind of missing person alert a week or more later. Crooks usually don't really have family or anything so it would be a while till someone even realizes they are missing.

I've actually thought of turning my server room into a man trap when I build it, and have a CO2 fire suppression system deploy if a code is not entered. It's not as fun if the victim is already dead when you get there though. The issue is there is the chance of them going into a panic and ripping wires out and stuff. Don't want that.

 

[BoomerD]

The OP COULD just move to Fladah...then get in someone's face....and shoot them under the "Stand Your Ground" law...

Of course, that would presume that the OP had the balls to actually get in someone's face to begin with...or balls enough to shoot them.

 

[T_Yamamoto]

Go to Florida and shoot someone who calls you a terrorist.

 

[TheSlamma]

I find the satire funny

 

[manimal]

start a thread where atot picks you a hobby AMDH.


How about curling?

 

[KK]

Go fuck Neckbeard in the ass, and call it good.

 

[blankslate]

Someone other than myself.

Join the Marines or the Army. Volunteer for combat arms then afterwards go to work for Xi (formerly known as Blackwater)

You'll be legally covered then.

 

[BudAshes]

Become an abortion doctor!