I would have preferred a quicker, less agonizing death...

[Mik3y]

Text

"A disgruntled cook at the local bar and grill poisons your food. You suffer in agony for days until the poison eventually kills you."

 

[illusion88]

"Enraged by your accusations of incompetence, your cable installer beats you to death with his crimping tool."

Well, I guess Ill never piss off my cable man.

 

[Kobota]

"A disgruntled employee in a sporting goods store beats you to death with a hockey stick. "

 

[revnja]

"Your unrelenting heckling of a prop comic drives him to beat you to death with a toilet seat."

 

[ajpa123]

'You develop an extreme case of intestinal worms after eating at a "new" sushi restaurant. Your body is unable to fight off the infection, and you die from abdominal rupture.'

NICE.

 

[Bozono]

As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, you are skinned alive and left in an abandoned warehouse.

 

[pbaker]

i die by an escalator, but if i'm a year older, i die from a razor blade in a sandwich.

 

[Rubycon]

"In a case of mistaken identity, you are shot to death by the mob."

Too late.

 

[rise]

"While in a parking lot, you accidentally get into a car which looks like yours, but isn't. Unfortunately, the car is rigged with a bomb, and you suffer an explosive death intended for someone else."

 

[CrackRabbit]

A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a pitchfork.

 

[upsciLLion]

Heaven's just a scab away
I'd like to see you after just one taste

Edit:

You die from complications of liver failure caused by years of heavy drinking.

LMAO. I'm sure it's correct.

 

[xSkyDrAx]

"You are the victim of an unprovoked stabbing by a carnival worker."

Damn clowns. :|

 

[MBentz]

"You are the victim of an unprovoked stabbing by a carnival worker."

Great, killed by a carny.

 

[TitanDiddly]

"After a heated argument with a crazed dry cleaner, he savagely strangles you to death with your own pants."

 

[Eli]

Suffering with general depression, you slit your wrists while sitting in a warm bath. You die from rapid blood loss.

:Q

....

 

[Chaotic42]

"Upset over the recent breakup with your girlfriend, you shoot her to death and then proceed to kill yourself."

 

[Vic]

"A lit cigarette is dropped in your car while you're driving. While you're attempting to pick it up, you veer into oncoming traffic. You are struck by a speeding truck and are killed instantly."

 

[imported_malcontent]

An ex-friend beats you to death with a full gallon of paint.

 

[Mik3y]

Originally posted by: Vic
"A lit cigarette is dropped in your car while you're driving. While you're attempting to pick it up, you veer into oncoming traffic. You are struck by a speeding truck and are killed instantly."

Coulda sworn that almost happened to me. instead of a truck, it was a soccer mom driving a mini van.

 

[DCFife]

"As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, a rope is tied around your wrists, and a second rope is tied around your ankles. The ropes are tied together and hung on a hook from the ceiling, leaving you suspended facing the ground. Concrete blocks are placed onto your back until the weight becomes so great, your arms and legs are torn from your body."

I always knew it would end that way...

 

[Vic]

Originally posted by: DCFife
"As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, a rope is tied around your wrists, and a second rope is tied around your ankles. The ropes are tied together and hung on a hook from the ceiling, leaving you suspended facing the ground. Concrete blocks are placed onto your back until the weight becomes so great, your arms and legs are torn from your body."

I always knew it would end that way...

OMG that's fscked up! :shocked:

 

[Auryg]

Man..I win.


You are abducted by aliens for research purposes. After months of humiliating and invasive tests, you are returned to your point of abduction from a height of 3,000 feet.

 

[bubbadu]

While attending a horse show, you bend over to tie your shoe. Halfway though the brief process, you receive a deadly kick from a startled Clydesdale.

 

[dug777]

Your girlfriend beats you to death with a hammer while you're asleep.

:Q thats it, i'm hiding the hammer :Q

 

[Coquito]

Originally posted by: upsciLLion
Heaven's just a scab away
I'd like to see you after just one taste

Edit:

You die from complications of liver failure caused by years of heavy drinking.

LMAO. I'm sure it's correct.

Same here.

I guess it's only right we become friends. :beer::beer: