Oh, me father was the keeper of the eddystone light
And he slept with a mermaid one fine night
From this union there came three
A porpoise and a porgy and the other was me
Yo ho ho, the wind blows free, oh for the life on the rolling sea
One day as I was a-trimmin' the glim
Humming a tune from the evening hymn
A voice from the starboard shouted, Ahoy!
And there was me mother a-sittin' on the buoy
Oh what has become of me children three?
Me mother then she asked of me
One was exhibited as a talking fish
The other was served in a chafing dish
Then the phosphorus flashed in her seaweed hair
I looked again, but me mother wasn't there
But I heard her voice echoing back through the night:
To hell with the keeper of the Eddystone light!
Oh the moral of the story you'll learn when you find
To leave God's creatures for what nature had in mind
For fishes are for cookin', mermaids are for tales
Seaweed is for sushi and protecting is for whales