If you discovered your unborn baby would have Down syndrome

[skace]

Originally posted by: cchen
Yes, I can imagine that option, and imo, you have to deal with what life gives you instead of running away. I've already decided (actually decided in HS) that I would take care of my brother his entire life because he means that much to me.

Have you had to deal with your brother since day 1? Of course you havn't. Now, are you currently taking full care of your brother or are your parents? (I am guessing they havn't passed away or something?).

Are you REALLY ready to forfeit your life and become a caretaker?

 

[cchen]

Originally posted by: skace

Originally posted by: cchen
Yes, I can imagine that option, and imo, you have to deal with what life gives you instead of running away. I've already decided (actually decided in HS) that I would take care of my brother his entire life because he means that much to me.

Have you had to deal with your brother since day 1? Of course you havn't. Now, are you currently taking full care of your brother or are your parents? (I am guessing they havn't passed away or something?).

Are you REALLY ready to forfeit your life and become a caretaker?

Yes. Father left right after he was born.

And yes, I'm taking care of him for the rest of his life

 

[Fausto]

Originally posted by: cchen

Originally posted by: skace

Originally posted by: cchen
Yes, I can imagine that option, and imo, you have to deal with what life gives you instead of running away. I've already decided (actually decided in HS) that I would take care of my brother his entire life because he means that much to me.

Have you had to deal with your brother since day 1? Of course you havn't. Now, are you currently taking full care of your brother or are your parents? (I am guessing they havn't passed away or something?).

Are you REALLY ready to forfeit your life and become a caretaker?

Yes. Father left right after he was born.

And yes, I'm taking care of him for the rest of his life

As in: live at home and never marry?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: hdeck
anyone that would abort a baby for that reason should not plan to have children.

Think for a second: having a child with Down's means you get an adult-sized person (with adult hormones...which is a whole other "fun" issue) who's more or less permanently 8 years old and will require full-time care from you and your spouse for what may be the rest of your lives. Not everyone is willing or able to commit to that.

The worry is not in the idea that the child will require some sort of care from you for the rest of your life,no the worry lies in wondering what will happen to the child after you're dead and gone.

 

[Dracos]

Originally posted by: skace

Originally posted by: cchen
Yes, I can imagine that option, and imo, you have to deal with what life gives you instead of running away. I've already decided (actually decided in HS) that I would take care of my brother his entire life because he means that much to me.

Have you had to deal with your brother since day 1? Of course you havn't. Now, are you currently taking full care of your brother or are your parents? (I am guessing they havn't passed away or something?).

Are you REALLY ready to forfeit your life and become a caretaker?

Where is this assumption coming from that you will be forfeiting your life to take care of the child. Granted our daughter isn't old enough to even think of leaving home but we have a life outside of our children including our "special" daughter.

 

[BDawg]

I would vote abort. It's not an easy situation. To me the deciding factor is the child will have to be cared for his entire life. While I can accept the responsibility of taking care of him, that's not a responsibility I would place on the child's sibling for after we die.

Besides, I'm not sure we should be delivering children who would not otherwise be viable and have no hopes of living a normal life.

 

[BDawg]

Originally posted by: psydancerqt
i think it makes a difference when it comes to asking a pregnant woman vs a man who is about to be a father....... i could never abort my child

Don't you ever doubt the love and comitment a man who is about to become a father feels. I love my unborn baby every tremendously; every bit as much as my wife does.

Women get to experience so much more than men do, but please do not trivialize a man's role in pregnancy, childbirth, and care.

That being said, I still vote abort.

 

[jjones]

Depends what my wife says. I would be in favor of abortion though.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: cchen

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: hdeck
anyone that would abort a baby for that reason should not plan to have children.

Think for a second: having a child with Down's means you get an adult-sized person (with adult hormones...which is a whole other "fun" issue) who's more or less permanently 8 years old and will require full-time care from you and your spouse for what may be the rest of your lives. Not everyone is willing or able to commit to that.

Think for a second... if a parent isn't willing to do that for their child, why are they having children?

maybe they want to have a family like the one they grew up in, i don't think only people that are willing to spend the rest of their life raising someone should have children.

 

[cchen]

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: cchen

Originally posted by: skace

Originally posted by: cchen
Yes, I can imagine that option, and imo, you have to deal with what life gives you instead of running away. I've already decided (actually decided in HS) that I would take care of my brother his entire life because he means that much to me.

Have you had to deal with your brother since day 1? Of course you havn't. Now, are you currently taking full care of your brother or are your parents? (I am guessing they havn't passed away or something?).

Are you REALLY ready to forfeit your life and become a caretaker?

Yes. Father left right after he was born.

And yes, I'm taking care of him for the rest of his life

As in: live at home and never marry?

lol... that's not what i meant
a down syndrome child doesn't require 24/7 constant care, they can do many things themselves
and frankly, all my gf's have adored him

 

[BDawg]

Originally posted by: cchen

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: cchen

Originally posted by: skace

Originally posted by: cchen
Yes, I can imagine that option, and imo, you have to deal with what life gives you instead of running away. I've already decided (actually decided in HS) that I would take care of my brother his entire life because he means that much to me.

Have you had to deal with your brother since day 1? Of course you havn't. Now, are you currently taking full care of your brother or are your parents? (I am guessing they havn't passed away or something?).

Are you REALLY ready to forfeit your life and become a caretaker?

Yes. Father left right after he was born.

And yes, I'm taking care of him for the rest of his life

As in: live at home and never marry?

lol... that's not what i meant
a down syndrome child doesn't require 24/7 constant care, they can do many things themselves
and frankly, all my gf's have adored him

I suppose it's you they got tired of. j/k!!!

 

[0roo0roo]

depends on your political party. if your republican-for cutting all government funded programs for mentally ill so you can fund your tax cuts, then i hope your rich enough to pay for all the care until even after you die.
democrat- whatever u want to do, its a burden many would rather not bear.

 

[EngenZerO]

yes

 

[GoingUp]

Originally posted by: Fingolfin269
I would abort. But, that's easier to say when not actually facing the situation.

 

[bootymac]

Personally, I would abort, but it would really be my wife's decision

 

[JayHu]

Originally posted by: Fausto

Originally posted by: cchen

Originally posted by: skace

Originally posted by: cchen
Yes, I can imagine that option, and imo, you have to deal with what life gives you instead of running away. I've already decided (actually decided in HS) that I would take care of my brother his entire life because he means that much to me.

Have you had to deal with your brother since day 1? Of course you havn't. Now, are you currently taking full care of your brother or are your parents? (I am guessing they havn't passed away or something?).

Are you REALLY ready to forfeit your life and become a caretaker?

Yes. Father left right after he was born.

And yes, I'm taking care of him for the rest of his life

As in: live at home and never marry?

Who says you can't get married? They can become quite independant. I am sure that one day my brother will end up living with me, and well that's something that my wife will have to accept. There are also communities for people with down syndrome, they are usually similar to retirement homes with people sort of watching over them, making sure they get to their jobs and whatnot.

As for the comment about how they (being children with down syndrome) feel about life, well most of them are carefree, because of their mental age. They take pleasure in little things and don't fret the big things.

You have to bear in mind that there are different levels of severity for this. Children can exhibit mild to extreme cases of it. I'm pretty fortunate that we have a relatively mild case but still it's quite obvious after about grade 3 that he's quite different.

 

[FoBoT]

no

 

[chibchakan]

I would abort.

 

[dderidex]

Originally posted by: Spamela
absolutely NOT.
every life is worthwhile.

Indeed?

Says who? Your invisible friend?

 

[Yeeny]

No, simply because I have handicapped people in my family, including my brothers, and i know how wonderful they can be. They are a gift, not a burden. And I also plan on taking them in, when my mother passes. Taking care of family doesn't mean giving up your life, it just means making some adjustments. Also, my cousin was pregnant, and they told her to abort, that the baby would have DS, webbed feet, water on the brain, etc. The child was born, and she is now 10 years old and perfectly normal. So they never know for sure.

 

[dderidex]

Originally posted by: Yeeny
No, simply because I have handicapped people in my family, including my brothers, and i know how wonderful they can be. They are a gift, not a burden. And I also plan on taking them in, when my mother passes. Taking care of family doesn't mean giving up your life, it just means making some adjustments. Also, my cousin was pregnant, and they told her to abort, that the baby would have DS, webbed feet, water on the brain, etc. The child was born, and she is now 10 years old and perfectly normal. So they never know for sure.

That's not entirely true.

*Sometimes* they CAN know for sure. At least, nowadays. Granted, 10 years ago it was much more hit or miss. But genetic testing now can provide near certainty (as in 99.9%) of some conditions. And if you don't like the results, test again! 99.9% done twice is as close to absolutely, completely, guaranteed as is possible.

Further, no offense, but....

They are a gift, not a burden

Gift to who? Our gene pool? How is increasing the odds of genetically defective DNA to be able to reproduce 'a gift'?

 

[Kadarin]

I would abort.

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: dderidex

Originally posted by: Yeeny
No, simply because I have handicapped people in my family, including my brothers, and i know how wonderful they can be. They are a gift, not a burden. And I also plan on taking them in, when my mother passes. Taking care of family doesn't mean giving up your life, it just means making some adjustments. Also, my cousin was pregnant, and they told her to abort, that the baby would have DS, webbed feet, water on the brain, etc. The child was born, and she is now 10 years old and perfectly normal. So they never know for sure.

That's not entirely true.

*Sometimes* they CAN know for sure. At least, nowadays. Granted, 10 years ago it was much more hit or miss. But genetic testing now can provide near certainty (as in 99.9%) of some conditions. And if you don't like the results, test again! 99.9% done twice is as close to absolutely, completely, guaranteed as is possible.

Further, no offense, but....

They are a gift, not a burden

Gift to who? Our gene pool? How is increasing the odds of genetically defective DNA to be able to reproduce 'a gift'?

Ok, that particular argument doesn't fly with Downs. It is a spontaneous mutation, not passed on. They don't have the normal complement of chromosomes and cannot reproduce.

 

[Bryophyte]

If I had an amnio in my first trimester and discovered the child had Downs, I might abort. I don't know for sure. I wouldn't have a later-term abortion.

 

[Bassyhead]

No, because my love for my child would be unconditional and I'm against abortion as well