well I think it's funny when people say 18 to be allowed to date, 1) you have no choice at that point 2) they are now an adult and are going to be throw into the lion pit just as if they were 13 being approached by a 17yo, only this time you probably won't have them in your house and that 17yo has his own place too....smart move, way to prepare 'baby' for the real world.
When you have 10-12yo girls wearing hoochy mamma clothes and talking about giving a bj to some cute guy in school and how on most high school dates the girl has been conditioned to think oral sex is expected of her....and in some cases STD free and not even sex.
As a peer counselor, and also someone who dated a few christian school girls, including one I married (and divorced), I can tell you everyone of the parents that bragged about having such a good little girl or boy was so in the dark, I'd alway hear the same stories of how they were pregnant, got someone pregnant, had an abortion, got a STD and it would kill their mother and father if they found out. I got my wife pregnant before we were married.
The days on summer break no one was allowed over and she was to stay inside I'd just come over (her two brothers and sister liked me and I kept them bribed enough to keep the secret) and leave early (sometimes her parents would try to surprise her by calling and then immediately coming home, but I'd always dart out the back and I never parked in front of the house...her brothers and sister would deny I was ever there). For our dates, she'd get details on the movie we were supposed to see (her parents always had to see it first so they could question her) and then we'd go to my house. Basically about every possible hour we were having sex...even after she got pregnant they thought it was the only time. They also thought her sister was innocent and even my ex wife was surprised when one day she called from the road saying she was on her own now with some biker guy she had been seeing. These were both girls that had tons of activities and crap that was thought to take up all their time, but any kid will find a way around it. A lot of these kids immediately moved out at 18 and did excess things just out of spite.
When in college, I remember all the guys going after the 'virgins' and totally screwing them over the first week they hit campus, one girl left school over it...totally unprepared for real life. I didn't agree with this crap at all, it was just a game to the guys...they'd pose as 'virgins' too and claim all sorts of Prince Charming junk.
Also it's not a double standard any more at all, guys are more accepting of the sexual girls and girls are just as aggressive as the guys.
Statutory rape is also really misunderstood. If the girl and guy are brought in to court not even close in age and the girl insists she nothing happened and there is no pregnancy and the judge believes she was not coerced into that statement usually it is thrown out of court...in florida the law is if you are 16-24 anything is fair game within the 'group', under 16 even by another under 16 it is a crime....but again this law is very hard to enforce unless the girl is proven pregnant or there is somehow video tape taken by the kids themselves (one mother here was arrested for making child pornography by hiding a video camera in her son's room in an attempt to ruin the older girl who was still underage). Also there are no laws against anyone dating/seeing anyone else...parents have a right over who can come onto their property though, but if the say 13yo girl sees the 40yo guy in a public place there is no crime, even kissing will pass probably if it's the non-make out style, however groping of any kind to INNER thigh, buttocks, breasts, or contact of any part of her body with a sexual organ is statutory rape, if it can be proven. Also if the girl has already married, or has been given nonage (sp?) or the ability to be independent from the parents statutory rape does not apply. You get into some real screwy areas like 16 and a 15 is illegal but 16 and a 24 year old is ok...I know this well as my ex and I were 4 years apart in age and I was 20 at the time I met her and was told she was 17 or almost 18 (it was easy for the lie as she started school a year early, her friends set me up with her and technically I never asked her her age directly, even so at 16 I was totally legal), her parents always played the rape angle and when she was pregnant attempted to have me arrested and we were all advised of the law and that although they could tell me what I was permitted to do on their property if we were to be in a hotel, another residence, or even public place they would not be able to arrest me for statutory rape or tresspassing (they claimed children were property), however, other laws would still apply as lewd behavior, indecent exposure, etc.
For the record, the christian school my ex came from was expensive and popular...out of the senior class there was 1 virgin (this was from 1990) and in the junior class 3 and almost all were on their second to third sexual relationship by graduation....none of the parents knew about any sex happening until one 'hussy would get herself pregnant'.
I recommend letting your kids explore themselves no matter how hard it is for you to do so. Advise them on STDS, pregnancy, etc...keep predators from them with the laws allowed, but know they like sex just as much as their parents do and really there is nothing wrong with that (only americans seem to think so, other nations actually have mothers/daughters talking about sex together and totally naturally) and it is actually a good sign of a healthy young adult. However, I will guarantee you try and clamp down and tell them they WILL NOT do some/anything no matter how trivial, they will do all of that and more out of spite...no one likes being told they cannot do something, they know they can especially kids who think with their feelings and not their heads. Also know sometimes things you think they will figure out later on in life that you were exaggerating/lying about now sometimes doesn't happen and gets them in a lot of trouble. In peer counseling, I heard tons of things that normally no one would even think were true, but here was some guy or girl crying about being pregnant, or having an STD when they were told something by their parents that made them believe it would not be possible. Santa Clause is a perfect example, if a kid is never told he is fake and the secret is kept good enough...why would they think otherwise? Sure after you hear from your friends/TV that Santa is fake or catch your parents leaving gifts from Santa under the tree you realize it was stupid, but it was very real until then. Same with the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc....kids and adults alike believe their parents.