If you had a son or daughter what would be the minimal age for them to start dating?

[Jugernot]

Like others have said, it depends on the child. I'd guestimate age 17-18....

 

[Mandrill]

My daughter = 50
my son = whenever 15-16 I suppose

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: Shanti

Originally posted by: BD2003
You couldnt stop them from dating short of locking them in their room and throwing away the key.

Sounds good to me.

Out of curiosity, do you have daughters?

No, I dont have daughters. I'm only 23. Regardless, I do understand the desire to stop tehm from dating until they are ready, but Im realistic enough to know that when it comes to dating, that is one of those things that it wont matter what I say or do. I can give advice, I can try to help out, but if theyre gonna date, theyre gonna date.

In my high school every girl that was forbidden to date did so anyway. When I got to college, every girl that was still a virgin soon wasnt. Those that were more strictly forbidden to date tended to be the worst ones.

I'm just being realistic about it. Regardless of what most parents seem to think, you DO NOT KNOW everything youre children are up to. Every single person I knew from elementary through high school was hiding a significant part of their lives from their parents, mostly dating. Not a few, not some, every single kid. The only ones that didnt hide it were the ones that could actually talk to their parents about it without getting locked up in their room.

For some reason when we're kids we go through all of this, and then think that we are now adequately prepared to stop our children from doing all the naughty things we did as kids. I know thats BS. Stop kidding yourself.

That being said, up until age 15 I'd keep as good an eye on them as I can. After that, its senseless to try and stop them, rather just help them out where I can. At 16, Ill even give her the pill. Because if I had a dollar for every 16 year old I knew that was having sex in high school, I'd be a rich rich man.

Say it with me people, there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP THEM! If you dont let them do it with your approval, they WILL do it behind your back, no matter how perfect of a parent you might be. You are delusional if you think otherwise.

 

[gar598]

What if they wanted to "date" someone of the same sex? Though, you would really never know if they were "dating" and, if the parents did have prior knowledge, it would make for some interesting conversation. Also, what exactly is dating? Are we talking about total exclusion of relations outside a domestic environment (i.e. - not school, religious based institution). For the most part, it seems that kids will do what they want, for the most part. But there is no substitute for placing a child in a good environment.

Thought, I would just add a little twist.

 

[SeandoG]

Its different for my sister than it is for me because I started dating when i was 14 and my sister started when she was 15.
but my still makes her take me on date so i can look out for her and protect her if some thing goes wrong.
We still just go to the movies or other stuff, we'll start dating for real when we are about 18 - 19.
I'm 15

 

[Rio Rebel]

My daughter can date as soon as she feels ready, because she's perfect and I trust her completely.

It's just that I intend to rip the throat out of every guy with the audacity to try to go out with her, and hang their lifeless bodies from a pole in the front yard.

I feel that's fair and reasonable, and promotes her individuality and right to mature unimpeded by an overprotective father.

 

[Bignate603]

I think 16 is good. They get their license so I wouldn't have to drive them.

Hell, my father was trying to get me to date. He thought I was a nerd because I didn't like going to dances and stuff.

 

[ClueLis]

Pleeeeeeese do not make your kid wait until he/she is 18 to start dating... at least for his/her classmates' sake. There's one girl at my high school (she's 16) who's been dating a guy behind her parents' back because they won't let her date until she's 18. At a result, she and her boyfriend are making out all over the school. It's awful to see (and I can't escape it, as I'm in a small school), and she'd probably be under more control if her parents knew what was going on.

 

[DT4K]

As I suspected, those of you complaining about the double standard don't have daughters.

And I do realize that I will not be able to stop them from doing what they want. And that I can only do my best to educate them.

But when you have daughters you will understand. Regardless of logical thought, there is just this feeling that you have to protect them from anything bad that could ever possibly happen to them. I have the same feelings with my son. But the fact is that there are more bad things that are likely to happen to a daughter than to a son. So I feel more of a need to protect them from the world.

All the terrible things that I see in the news makes me want to move away to a deserted island somewhere, build electric, barbed wire fences around it, hire armed security guards and guard dogs, and never let my children leave. Not that I would really do this, but that's what my protective father emotions tell me to do.

 

[virtuamike]

My girl will date at any age she feels like as long as she wears a shirt that says "Pork daddy's little girl and he's gonna punk yo ass"

 

[jadinolf]

Son=16
Daughter 47

 

[glugglug]

Wow, all you guys are saying 15+..... My parents tried to set me up a lot of times by that age. Actually, that was the primary discouraging factor, they were way too enthusiastic about the idea and always on the phone with the girls' parents about it.

 

[ProviaFan]

Originally posted by: Shanti
Regardless of logical thought, there is just this feeling that you have to protect them from anything bad that could ever possibly happen to them...

I can understand that, but the majority of this "older and wiser" group is throwing out (hopefully BS) answers like 30 to 50 years for the girl, and that is just utterly rediculous. Think about it: if you make them wait that long, by the time their own kids are just about ready for college, they'll be getting ready for retirement themselves. IMHO if one's going to have kids, one should get married and start just a wee bit earlier.

 

[Rio Rebel]

Very few of us are so ridiculous that we won't let our daughters date until she's 19+. But if you ever have one, you'll understand completely.

 

daughter - 35
Son - 10

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: Shanti
As I suspected, those of you complaining about the double standard don't have daughters.

And I do realize that I will not be able to stop them from doing what they want. And that I can only do my best to educate them.

But when you have daughters you will understand. Regardless of logical thought, there is just this feeling that you have to protect them from anything bad that could ever possibly happen to them. I have the same feelings with my son. But the fact is that there are more bad things that are likely to happen to a daughter than to a son. So I feel more of a need to protect them from the world.

All the terrible things that I see in the news makes me want to move away to a deserted island somewhere, build electric, barbed wire fences around it, hire armed security guards and guard dogs, and never let my children leave. Not that I would really do this, but that's what my protective father emotions tell me to do.

Maybe you should stop watching the news so much then, because it is distorting your conception of reality. I understand that emotions often take precendece over reason, but if thats anything, its a flaw. Just because you want to protect your daughters doesnt mean you should, especially when youre overbearing parenting is likely to do more harm than good.

The fact that we dont have daughters should give you a clue. We can see things from the outside, while your intense protectiveness pre-empts you from having any chance of thinking rationally. Go ahead and keep on with your "until you have daughters you wont understand" all you want, but it doesnt change the situation.

 

[alkemyst]

Here is the deal...while I do not have kids of my own yet, I have listened to the screwed up tales told to me by perhaps 200-300.

There is no double standard anymore...your daughter is quite capable of fending for herself, if you let her know she is.

Teach your daughter that sex is OK, but just having it is not. Teach her that there is a great potential for her to be just a trophy/mark for another guy. Teach her that she can say YES YES YES one time and NO! another...it is her perogative, but also teach her not to tease and lead someone on [we are dealing with very strong forces here...temporarily insane can easily apply to sexual things].

No one wants to picture their daughter bent over a fender screaming out in euphoria, but it will probably happen at some point in her life, and she will be more a person because of it.

When two adults come together and 'make magic', there is no greater power in the world...it'd probably be the world's greatest seller if it could be bottled. Now your daughter may be an 'adult' at 13, 25, 36, there is no telling (same with sons)...but if you know them then you will know.

So don't lie to them, give them the real story, explain the pluses and minuses (the easiest way to discredit you as a parent is to find out there is benefits in the activity you say there is none in), and again be honest: give the pros and cons and leave them to put it together.

What happens so often is a parent is caught in lie after lie, and when the serious stuff happens the parent's advice is considered just another one/lie/tale.

 

[Rainsford]

I would say whenever they feel they are ready, but I'd be sure to talk with them first to make sure they understand everything involved (um, unless I'm driving them to the roller rink or some teeny bopper date thing like that). Serious dating, just when they think they are ready and understand what they are doing. I'd be more worried about a daughter though, because I'm a guy and I know what guys are like at the age when you start seriously dating. It's pretty easy for a girl to make a bad decision, and the guy will certainly be more than happy to help her along.

 

[glugglug]

anyone else notice the wording of this thread...

if you HAD a son or daughter

Interesting assumption about us ATOT geeks.

 

[DT4K]

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: Shanti
As I suspected, those of you complaining about the double standard don't have daughters.

And I do realize that I will not be able to stop them from doing what they want. And that I can only do my best to educate them.

But when you have daughters you will understand. Regardless of logical thought, there is just this feeling that you have to protect them from anything bad that could ever possibly happen to them. I have the same feelings with my son. But the fact is that there are more bad things that are likely to happen to a daughter than to a son. So I feel more of a need to protect them from the world.

All the terrible things that I see in the news makes me want to move away to a deserted island somewhere, build electric, barbed wire fences around it, hire armed security guards and guard dogs, and never let my children leave. Not that I would really do this, but that's what my protective father emotions tell me to do.

Maybe you should stop watching the news so much then, because it is distorting your conception of reality. I understand that emotions often take precendece over reason, but if thats anything, its a flaw. Just because you want to protect your daughters doesnt mean you should, especially when youre overbearing parenting is likely to do more harm than good.

The fact that we dont have daughters should give you a clue. We can see things from the outside, while your intense protectiveness pre-empts you from having any chance of thinking rationally. Go ahead and keep on with your "until you have daughters you wont understand" all you want, but it doesnt change the situation.

Do you have any idea how many women and young girls are raped? How many get pregnant in high school?

My conception of reality is not distorted. It is reality. And I already made it clear that there is a difference between logic and emotion and that I can distinguish between the two. You know nothing of what kind of parent I am. Just because I love my kids and am protective does not mean I am overbearing. I was simply trying to explain why there are so many respones like

son: 15
daughter: over my dead body

The fact remains that you really cannot understand the emotion that leads to that statement unless you have daughters. And like many others, I don't really intend to lock my daughters up and keep them from ever dating even if I sometimes feel like I should. You are the one who doesn't seem to understand that we are being at least partially humorous.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Son: The minute he was able to drive and able to pay for the date.

Daughter: 10 seconds after they dropped my corpse into the casket. I know what I was like at 16 and the only way a daughter of mine (no kids at this point, only conjecture) would go out with somebody like me would be over my dead body.

 

[Vonkhan]

If I have a daughter, she can date any guy at any age as long as the dude leaves his balls with me as collateral.

 

[BD2003]

Originally posted by: Shanti

Originally posted by: BD2003

Originally posted by: Shanti
As I suspected, those of you complaining about the double standard don't have daughters.

And I do realize that I will not be able to stop them from doing what they want. And that I can only do my best to educate them.

But when you have daughters you will understand. Regardless of logical thought, there is just this feeling that you have to protect them from anything bad that could ever possibly happen to them. I have the same feelings with my son. But the fact is that there are more bad things that are likely to happen to a daughter than to a son. So I feel more of a need to protect them from the world.

All the terrible things that I see in the news makes me want to move away to a deserted island somewhere, build electric, barbed wire fences around it, hire armed security guards and guard dogs, and never let my children leave. Not that I would really do this, but that's what my protective father emotions tell me to do.

Maybe you should stop watching the news so much then, because it is distorting your conception of reality. I understand that emotions often take precendece over reason, but if thats anything, its a flaw. Just because you want to protect your daughters doesnt mean you should, especially when youre overbearing parenting is likely to do more harm than good.

The fact that we dont have daughters should give you a clue. We can see things from the outside, while your intense protectiveness pre-empts you from having any chance of thinking rationally. Go ahead and keep on with your "until you have daughters you wont understand" all you want, but it doesnt change the situation.

Do you have any idea how many women and young girls are raped? How many get pregnant in high school?

My conception of reality is not distorted. It is reality. And I already made it clear that there is a difference between logic and emotion and that I can distinguish between the two. You know nothing of what kind of parent I am. Just because I love my kids and am protective does not mean I am overbearing. I was simply trying to explain why there are so many respones like

son: 15
daughter: over my dead body

The fact remains that you really cannot understand the emotion that leads to that statement unless you have daughters. And like many others, I don't really intend to lock my daughters up and keep them from ever dating even if I sometimes feel like I should. You are the one who doesn't seem to understand that we are being at least partially humorous.

Yes, I have an extremely good idea of how many girls get raped and pregnant in high school. Keep in mind you left it far long ago, but I've been there a few years ago. You know what you see on the news, and believe me, that is not reality. Girls did get date raped and pregnant, and we all knew who they were, and we all knew who they would be. The ones that typically fell prey are those they A) were allowed to do anything they choose cause theyre parents didnt give a sh*t, and they usually didnt have a dad. And B) The girls that were so severly restrcited that they werent allowed to date, until they were 18. Keep in mind girls are supposedly graduating by then, and they are gonna rebel long before that. What is it that really makes you so so sure that you know the reality of things?

Your response reads like exactly how I thought it would, somehow I knew that it would become a matter of love for your daughter. I'm certainly not trying to say that by trying to protect her too much you dont love her or anything, so you might as well leave that out of it. No one is questioning it, but some of the worst things in the world have been done under the best of intentions. I may not have personally experienced it myself with children, but I understand the desire to protect your loved ones. I'm sure I have as good an idea of the emotions you speak of as you do of what modern high school and college is REALLY like. And I perfectly understand that those of you who say they arent gonna let their daughters date until theyre 35 arent being serious. But I'm talking about those who even say ridiculous things like 18, because that I know is serious. Have you forgotten what its like to be 18 already? There was barely a virgin left in my high school by 18, but not everyone was a slut. The girls that started dating first certainly werent the first to get raped or pregnant. That ones that did were naive or rebllious enough to fall prey to the older guys who had already figured out the way to pull it off. Its hard to base statistics on those kind of things, but with a few exceptions, it was pretty clear cut, in real life.

If you want to protect your daughter, dont build a wall around her, but let her grow and learn to defend herself. Let her find out who the bad guys are before its too late. Treat her like an adult and youll be surprised how easily she learns to be one. Girls dont want to get dogged like that, but its going to happen until they learn how to smell a rat. If theyre stuck in a cage, when they finally get out theyre just bigger targets.

 

[DiZASTiX]

Originally posted by: TommyVercetti
15 for my son.

I won't let my daughter date because she means everything pure to me. But my business partner will secretly marry her and when I find out, I will kill him and bring my daughter back to my mansion, where I will be attacked my Colombians who kill everybody.

Hmm...well you got your life plan sorted out dont you? Oh and as for the question...asking the wrong person here

 

[Pepsi90919]

uh, whenever they wanted to. who am i to stop them? it's their life, not mine. let them learn from their experiences.