If you were dictator of the world, what would it be like?

[So]

It wouldn't last very long, but the weather forecast would be: Extreme heat followed by thousands of years of cold. Mwahahahaha. :evil:

 

[tRaptor]

Out to the fields ALL OF YOU!

 

[Electrode]

If I were dictator of the world:

1. All non-renewable energy sources would be administered by the government, i.e. all oil and natural gas would be collected, processed and sold by a gov't agency.
2. All currency would be recalled, precious metals would be the only legal tender.
3. The public practice of organized, theistic religion would be outlawed. Anyone mentioning "god" in public would be killed on the spot.
4. International trade would be 100% free and unrestricted, however all nations must abide by the same labor requirements, which would be similar to what the US has now.
5. The following crimes, if guilt is proven beyond any doubt, mean immediate death for the offender: Murder, rape, assault with a weapon
6. The vast majority of government-provided money will go to the advancement of medical, energy and space exploration technology. I'm talking 60% here.
7. If you challenge my power, you will die.

 

[axelfox]

two words: iron fist

 

[Howard]

Now I know why dictatorship is rarely benevolent. It's so hard to balance your ideals with justice and egalitarianism.

 

[CPA]

All boy pop bands would be outlawed.

 

[dpopiz]

I would destroy the entire Earth, then see what happens in a few billion years

 

[Swag1138]

Random intellegence tests. Falures would result in being sent to the Manpo factory to be made into dogfood.

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: hopeless879
Lots of naked chicks and beer.

horray!

 

[RobCur]

Originally posted by: ScottyB
Just wondering

Out of curiosity? btw, I am just as clueless as you are.

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: Skoorb
The first thing I'd do would be to designate 2 hours/day, during which advisors come to me with various problems, such as frivolous lawsuits, bad pop music, etc. and I have almighty power to do as I see fit. I could either throw out a lawsuit and automatically fine the plaintiff...I could have the tongues cut out of bad singers, etc.

Vote for me!!

no! naked chicks and beer!

 

[Flyermax2k3]

Originally posted by: Swag1138
Random intellegence tests. Falures would result in being sent to the Manpo factory to be made into dogfood.

Heil Hitler! Thanks for announcing to the whole world that you're a neo-nazi

 

[MikeO]

There'd be lots of cannabis growing around, that's for damn sure.

 

[nutxo]

all foods that start with ch would be free!

fat chicks wouldbe forced to wear moo moo's

everyone would have to wear thier clothing inside out on wednesday

everyone would be forced to wear underwear on the outside of thier clothing on tuesday

cellphone use would be illegal in cars and in restaraunts

bad breath would be a misdemeanor

gah, it woudl be wonderful

 

[Flyermax2k3]

Originally posted by: mto81
There'd be lots of cannabis growing around, that's for damn sure.

I'll sign up to live in that world

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: Electrode
5. The following crimes, if guilt is proven beyond any doubt, mean immediate death for the offender: Murder, rape, assault with a weapon

what about battery with a weapon?

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: FrustratedUser

Originally posted by: EyeMWing
I have long considered this. I could write a book on it. But in short, it would be a controlled economy with all the rights and freedoms available in the United States today, with the exception that if you fvck up, the military will execute you on sight. No trials. Computers and the Internet will be government issued and monitored. If you wish to graduate beyond "end user" a simple, free licensing exam will be required and you will be given access to government regulated hardware shops (We'll be taking over Newegg and Directron) as well as sourceforge (Which we will also be hijacking)

The physical layer of the Internet will be reorganized so it's less retarded and 10mbit+ broadband is available in 90% of the world.

All public issues will be voted on using the government issue computers. A direct democracy. The system will be set up so as to allow for an infinite combination of voting populations ranging from everyone on the world to a single city block. My sole purpose as "dictator" will be to oversee the military, whose primary purposes are to maintain the structure, maintain social order and ensure that the will of the people is carried out. Their tertiary goal, of course, is to provide me with suitable virgins to become involved with in order to provide a suitable number of children to operate the military after me.

If you would allow voting you would not be a dictator.

On the contrary. They aren't voting about me, they're voting about how they'd like to live their lives. Of course, every issue to be put on the virtual ballots must be approved by my staff and if anything blatently doesn't go my way, the results can be altered and people made to dissapear. It's just an excuse to make people feel contented and free up more of my schedule to do more important things, like personally command a bombing raid on a city that houses a single fscktard that thinks he can screw with the Internet 2.0. You write a virus, your city, your loved ones, everything you've ever known and loved gets obliterated before your very eyes. This is among the crimes which are not punished by "shoot on sight" but instead punished by torture. Such crimes generally consist of any action which may adversely affect the functioning of the global nation - computer crimes, assault on a military officer,conspiracy to blow up a government installation, that kind of thing.

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: ElFenix

Originally posted by: EyeMWingTheir tertiary goal, of course, is to provide me with suitable virgins to become involved with in order to provide a suitable number of children to operate the military after me.

why would you want a virgin? all they would do is lay there and cry and complain about how much it hurt.

If they cry and complain, you're doing it wrong. Of course, there are certain situations where crying and complaining is preferable. I'm not talking about 8 year olds here.

 

[BadNewsBears]

Originally posted by: Flyermax2k3

Originally posted by: mto81
There'd be lots of cannabis growing around, that's for damn sure.

I'll sign up to live in that world

KB for all!

 

[nan0bug]

I would be Big Brother, Oceana would be at war with Eurasia, as it always has, and you would all love me.

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing

Originally posted by: ElFenix

Originally posted by: EyeMWingTheir tertiary goal, of course, is to provide me with suitable virgins to become involved with in order to provide a suitable number of children to operate the military after me.

why would you want a virgin? all they would do is lay there and cry and complain about how much it hurt.

If they cry and complain, you're doing it wrong. Of course, there are certain situations where crying and complaining is preferable. I'm not talking about 8 year olds here.

they still just lay there

 

[stormbv]

Utopia

 

[SSibalNom]

i would run it like MS

 

[SilentZero]

I second the "naked woman and beer" idea. However fat and ugly woman would be MADE to wear clothes at all times!

 

[plk21]

Not Mine, but these are great:

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

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