If you're married, does it look respectable to go out to lunch

[jersiq]

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong

Originally posted by: 91TTZ

Originally posted by: KMFJD


Yep, women should just wear a burqa and never leave the house other than to get groceries...ffs

That's just ridiculous.

Why do the less intelligent members on ATOT use ridiculous comparisons like this? A wise man exercizes some judgement... an idiot instantly compares that judgement to something extreme and uses that as an excuse to be, well, an idiot.

There's a big difference between forcing your woman to wear a burqa and allowing her to screw around behind your back. But I doubt the idiots on here (hint: you) would be able to discern the difference.

Don't waste your breath on the kids. Wait until they grow up and marry, and then we'll see how liberal they are when the office douchebag starts hitting on their wives, waiting for the right moment..."Oh, are you guys fighting again? That's too bad. Do you need to talk? What a jerk he is..."

Truth is, if your wife was worth a ******, this question would never come up in the first place.

QFT
My wife and I have a strong marriage but here's my take:
My wife and her boss would occassionally go to lunch: sometimes with others, sometimes not.

Fast forward a couple of months and they have to go to a conference in Minneapolis. Apparently, my wifes boss had a custom where when he would go to a city on business, he would have dinner at a rather expensive steak house. So he invites my wife to go along with him. Of course, not being a business dinner the drinks were flowing. Upon returning to the hotel, he invites my wife to spend the night in his room, which my wife declines. (Slimeball move number 1)

The icing on the cake occurred at a Christmas party that I did not attend. Apparently, after the party when everyone was in the parking lot going to his/her car: He propositions her to run away from their marriages and move to Florida to be together. (Slimeball move number 2, compunded by idiocy because this time he was not drunk as it was a "dry" Christmas party)

Now between Slimeball move 1 and 2 I had asked my wife to leave the job, but not because of move # 1. My wife was just at the Christmas party because she was transitioning her job to a new employee.
Now I completely trust that my wife did absolutely nothing because of two things:
1. The jackass is 65 years old, my wife is 30
2. I know how much my wife loves me, and how much I trust her

However, that doesn't mean that ulterior motives aren't sometimes involved in "innocent" lunches, and as a man these situations made me uncomfortable. After incident number one, I gave her an ultimatum that she could no longer have lunches alone with her boss to which she agreed. It doesn't mean that we want to ostracize our loved ones from memebers of the opposite sex, or from all of society.

 

[EKKC]

Originally posted by: jersiq

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong

Originally posted by: 91TTZ

Originally posted by: KMFJD


Yep, women should just wear a burqa and never leave the house other than to get groceries...ffs

That's just ridiculous.

Why do the less intelligent members on ATOT use ridiculous comparisons like this? A wise man exercizes some judgement... an idiot instantly compares that judgement to something extreme and uses that as an excuse to be, well, an idiot.

There's a big difference between forcing your woman to wear a burqa and allowing her to screw around behind your back. But I doubt the idiots on here (hint: you) would be able to discern the difference.

Don't waste your breath on the kids. Wait until they grow up and marry, and then we'll see how liberal they are when the office douchebag starts hitting on their wives, waiting for the right moment..."Oh, are you guys fighting again? That's too bad. Do you need to talk? What a jerk he is..."

Truth is, if your wife was worth a ******, this question would never come up in the first place.

QFT
My wife and I have a strong marriage but here's my take:
My wife and her boss would occassionally go to lunch: sometimes with others, sometimes not.

Fast forward a couple of months and they have to go to a conference in Minneapolis. Apparently, my wifes boss had a custom where when he would go to a city on business, he would have dinner at a rather expensive steak house. So he invites my wife to go along with him. Of course, not being a business dinner the drinks were flowing. Upon returning to the hotel, he invites my wife to spend the night in his room, which my wife declines. (Slimeball move number 1)

The icing on the cake occurred at a Christmas party that I did not attend. Apparently, after the party when everyone was in the parking lot going to his/her car: He propositions her to run away from their marriages and move to Florida to be together. (Slimeball move number 2, compunded by idiocy because this time he was not drunk as it was a "dry" Christmas party)

Now between Slimeball move 1 and 2 I had asked my wife to leave the job, but not because of move # 1. My wife was just at the Christmas party because she was transitioning her job to a new employee.
Now I completely trust that my wife did absolutely nothing because of two things:
1. The jackass is 65 years old, my wife is 30
2. I know how much my wife loves me, and how much I trust her

However, that doesn't mean that ulterior motives aren't sometimes involved in "innocent" lunches, and as a man these situations made me uncomfortable. After incident number one, I gave her an ultimatum that she could no longer have lunches alone with her boss to which she agreed. It doesn't mean that we want to ostracize our loved ones from memebers of the opposite sex, or from all of society.

tell her to sue for sexual harassment, win the lawsuit. quit and go to Florida together w/o the slimeball = win!

 

[Manuwell]

Is the food that good ?

 

[BatmanNate]

I try to dine in mixed groups if I'm going with a female coworker, unless it was my boss (which at this job isn't an issue). My wife and I trust one another, there is just no reason arouse curiousity in the other workers, things get twisted out of proportion in the workplace as well. Plus, despite the platonic nature of my relationships with the women I work with, I feel it would cross boundries with their spouses and my own that I should respect. Maybe I'm old fashioned.

 

[dandruff]

:laugh:

 

[Buck Armstrong]

Originally posted by: BatmanNate
My wife and I trust one another, there is just no reason arouse curiousity in the other workers, things get twisted out of proportion in the workplace as well...

Right, and there's also no reason to make your spouse uncomfortable, either. After all, once you're married, its your partner who counts above all else. So fvck the boss, he's not paying the bills and raising the kids.

 

[theprodigalrebel]

Considering the oh-so-amazing divorce rates (I'm not sure how many of them are as a result of adultery/related-fights), it's best if married men/women refrain from stuff like that.

As far as the OP goes, does the dude's wife know about his gal-pal? To give a dumb example, Chandler wouldn't mind if Monica went out to lunch with Joey everyday. Ross wouldn't mind if Rachel went out with Chandler for lunch everyday. But Chandler/Ross would definitely mind Monica/Rachel going out with Charlie Sheen/George Clooney, wouldn't they? It's really that simple. Sure you can always argue for hours about your partner's Trust Issues/Jealousies...but wouldn't you rather spend that time making fun of other people's YAGTs on ATOT... rather than start your own?

 

[j00fek]

mind your own buisness

 

[Koing]

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong

Originally posted by: mrchan

Originally posted by: Koing
TRUST ISSUES

People need to be more laid back about stuff like this. If people are going to cheat they will anyway.

I don't care.

Koing

Agreed.

Your wife will have male friends.

Your husband will have female friends.

Friends eat together.

Whats the big deal?

"Female/male friends" as in co-workers or acquaintances are one thing. But going to lunch together EVERY day and spending EVERY 15-minute break together is another; one of them wants to fvck the other, period, and if you don't see that, you're probably either:

1. A teenager, which=you have no idea what you're talking about. Come back when you're a grownup.

2. Not very attractive, in which case its possible for you to go to lunch every day with whoever you want, because they have no intention of fvcking you, and their SO finds it funny that you think you have a chance, rather than threatening.

3. Not very experienced with women/men, and still believe in all that "platonic" highschool bvllshit. All men who have a "serious" (as in go to lunch together every day) platonic relationship with a girl either want her, find her unattractive, or are themselves being retained as a backup/cuddle-bitch.

4. In denial because your woman has such a friend, in which case, she's probably cheated on you already, or at the very least received unwanted advances from her "friend". Trust me, if she's real close with some other guy, then he wants to fvck her, end of story.

I swear, some of you people sound like you've never met a man or woman before. Its all puppy-dogs, lollipops, and rainbows in Candyland, and meanwhile, your woman's crouched on the floor of a cubicle somewhere blowing her "friend".

Doesn't mean they will cheat. It takes two and the other can back away. We still have a lot of happily married couples around.

Yeah, sure ONE of them may want to f0ck the other but the other one doesn't have too. It is called TRUST. People do not always have to act upon lust. WHY are these people getting married?

I'm sure people do cheat on their spouse but a lot of them do not :thumbsup:

Otherwise WHY did you marry your spouse if you DON'T TRUST HER? The relationship is well on the rocks if you can't even trust her to tell a guy to back off.

Why be with someone who wants to be WITH SOMEONE else?

Koing

 

[Brassman]

I'm with ya'.. I wouldn't be too happy.

 

[theGlove]

how do you think affairs got started?

 

[Cattlegod]

Originally posted by: dullard
It starts out ok, but there is a definite fine line that is easilly crossed. Take my experience, tell me where the line was crossed.

1) Had a wife (11 years together, 6 married).
2) She works evenings as a ballroom dance instructor.
3) She dances with all sorts of men all day long (dancing means thigh/thigh and/or chest/chest contact). Of course, I dance with all sorts of women, so this isn't an issue.
4) She starts hanging out with the other dance instructors after work on Tuesdays (usually to a bar).
5) She later starts hanging out with just two dance instructors (one of each gender) on Thursday evening (usually to an apartment) in addition to Tuesday.
6) She later starts hanging out with one male instructor M, W, F, Sat, and Sun in addition to the Tuesday and Thursday outings. They go places and do things she has always refused to ever do with me (innocent things such as drink at a bar, play pool, go bowling, watch a movie, etc).
7) She quits and opens a dance studio with one male instructor. They work all day together, eat lunch together, do "business planning" after work together late into the night.
8) I snoop her emails and they are all love emails discussing intimate body parts and corsets.
9) I file for divorce.
10) I find a loyal GF and am much happier now.

Where exactly is that line crossed? I had a ton of trust for my wife and got burned. I say the line was crossed right around point #5. Others may say it is crossed a bit earlier or a bit later. Either way, jtvang125's description is right near my point #5. Has that line already been crossed? Are they already at point #6 or beyond and he doesn't know it yet?

The Dear Anne newspaper columist said it best: (paraphrased) "if it is work related and necessary, there is nothing wrong with it. If it isn't necessary or work related it probably is innocent but the chance of raising problems is too great to risk. Avoid it at all costs."

I bet all these lunches are not necessary, and thus they have crossed the line. The fact that people are talking about it behind their back is proof enough that it is causing damage (emotional/trust damage to the spouse that is left out).

/thread

 

[linkgoron]

Some of you guys watch too much porn...

 

[DrPizza]

Been there, done that, no affair. (Although, the setting was a college; both of us were adults at the time though)

Karin (exceptionally attractive - easily the best looking female on the campus) and I had the same major, same classes, and we both commuted more than half an hour to school each day. Plus, we were both non-traditional students (I was 29, she was 25 or 26.) So, naturally, we hung out together a lot. A LOT. As in 2 days a week, we spent 13 hours together, and 3 days a week, we spent about 6 hours together.
I think that everyone on campus - the profs, other students, etc. thought we were a couple. We always went out for lunch together, and sometimes out to dinner together. No problems though. For her, it was a relief, because when she was with me, guys weren't constantly hitting on her (although, occasionally they did.) edit: and it was excellent company for her as well. For me, it was wonderful company - many of the same interests, standards, etc. Excellent study partner, or someone just to chat with. We got along great. But, there was none of that "chemistry" between us where we necessarily wanted to cheat on my wife/her fiance. Never did. I don't think I ever even touched her physically. (i.e. touch on the arm or something.)

How many times have I seen two people that close who didn't have something going on? I'd say my experience with her is the *only* time I've seen such a long term "relationship" that wasn't a relationship. My wife let me know the day I crossed the line to unacceptable behavior: after an incredibly difficult final exam, we both felt like we needed a beer. Went to a tavern that served food, had a spaghetti dinner and a beer with dinner. In retrospect, I agree with my wife... that crossed the line into unacceptable behavior (having alcoholic drinks together while alone.)

 

[Compton]

Originally posted by: Koing
WHY are these people getting married?

Good question. It seems like a lot of people get married before they're ready to make that kind of commitment.

 

[narutofan36]

=( doesnt sound good to me

 

[Doodoo]

I go out to lunch with my coworker everyday. We work very closely together and always have coffee together every morning and talk about what we did last nite. We've become pretty good friends and vent to eachother about work and life in general. I've even been to her house for lunch so she could show me what color she was getting her house painted. Shes in her 40s and i'm 25 so nothing will ever happen between us. I bet everyone in the company thinks we're screwing around though. We even went away on a business trip and got hammered. Her husband and my gf know we're just good friends.