Since no-one is giving me the baton, I guess I'll just take it... I know I'm right, anyway...
Try this
"The world's my oyster, except for the fact that I just shoved a WOODEN STAKE through my brother's heart, becase he turned into a VAMPIRE, even though I don't beleive in vampires. Other than THAT unfortunate business, everything is hunky dorey"
A bit long, but one of my all time favorites