I'm drifting thru life... :(

[xBopx]

Originally posted by: Maleficus

Originally posted by: Mani
Do more things besides the pool league. Do something physical like work out, ride a bike, run and you'll be surprised how good it can make you feel. Go out, meet people, and make friends. If after doing all that you still feel hollow maybe your life needs to take a spiritual direction to fill the void.

so what do you do when you

have friends
tried working out/ swimming / riding bikes
online gaming
lost all faith in religion

?

thats me. Im still bored as hell and cant find a thing that interests me at all.

I suggest that you read Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: Maleficus

Originally posted by: Mani

Originally posted by: Maleficus

Originally posted by: Mani
Do more things besides the pool league. Do something physical like work out, ride a bike, run and you'll be surprised how good it can make you feel. Go out, meet people, and make friends. If after doing all that you still feel hollow maybe your life needs to take a spiritual direction to fill the void.

so what do you do when you

have friends
tried working out/ swimming / riding bikes
online gaming
lost all faith in religion

?

thats me. Im still bored as hell and cant find a thing that interests me at all.

My best suggestion, though it easier said than done is to get a girlfriend.

I've yet to find a girl that i like, one that i truly enjoy her company. its not like you can just go and pick one up ( or at least i can't ) im not interested in a shallow relationship.

For the meanwhile, try to do something that makes you feel you are doing something worthwhile, volunteer to help the needy or something. It will only help a little bit, but it will give you a feeling of responsibility.

 

[Mani]

Originally posted by: Maleficus

Originally posted by: Mani

Originally posted by: Maleficus

Originally posted by: Mani
Do more things besides the pool league. Do something physical like work out, ride a bike, run and you'll be surprised how good it can make you feel. Go out, meet people, and make friends. If after doing all that you still feel hollow maybe your life needs to take a spiritual direction to fill the void.

so what do you do when you

have friends
tried working out/ swimming / riding bikes
online gaming
lost all faith in religion

?

thats me. Im still bored as hell and cant find a thing that interests me at all.

My best suggestion, though it easier said than done is to get a girlfriend.

I've yet to find a girl that i like, one that i truly enjoy her company. its not like you can just go and pick one up ( or at least i can't ) im not interested in a shallow relationship.

If you don't think any of these things will work, then you have to ask yourself if you're really giving them a chance or if you're closing yourself off to them. You honestly don't think you've ever met a girl that you like? Are you sure you're not judging all religion by just a few? If nothing excites you, you may just be depressed, in which case I would suggest that make an appointment with a psychiatrist.

 

[Savarak]

and yet ATOT has always been there for ya...

 

[Rogue]

I say what was said earlier, join the Army or the Reserve forces of some kind. You need an adventure, a change of pace and a lifestyle change. Do the Reserve thing and keep your civilian job, but get away for a while doing something drastically different.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: Savarak
and yet ATOT has always been there for ya...

ATOT is great in that it is totally anonymous. You can talk about your sorrows and pain, without it ever getting too personal. You can choose whatever point you want to stop talking about yourself, and you can choose any time you want.

There are not many people in real life to whom I'd admit being depressed, but here I don't care who knows, as no one knows me irl anyway.

Edit: Army may work btw, depends on how your brain works. Stuff like that wouldn't work for me, the moment I don't keep my mind busy (20 mile march for example) depression hits hard. If you feel the hollowness during exercising, but not during gaming (when it's mostly quick thinking/fast responses) I'd not go for the standard army training. Officer training maybe, but not soldier.

 

[jjones]

It sounds as if your world is built upon a series of distractions that keep you from really participating in life. Maybe this is the hollowness you feel. You have one of two choices: either put away your childish games and do something real in the world, or accept the little you are doing with your life and enjoy yourself.

For myself, I spent a lot of time living in the real world but opted out about 8 years ago to do just a little and enjoy a life on the beach with my family. It all depends what you want but you need to set goals, whatever they may be, and then begin achieving them. So far it sounds as if you're avoiding that by keeping yourself occupied and passing the time with games.

 

[fonzinator]

I'll probably get flamed for this but I don't care...XFILE, I have a similar story:

I believe everyone wants a purpose and a direction in their life. I certainly do. My passion in life used to be getting girls to like me and to do things that would make me look good. I thrived on being a smart, level-headed guy that the ladies would want and the guys would all like. I found temporary satisfaction when I would date a girl for a while or be the popular guy, but at the end of the day, I still felt empty inside; unfulfilled. I turned to pornograhy to satisfy myself - again leaving my unfulfilled. I also went to church every Sunday where I went through the motions - these didn't satisfy me either. Sadly, I no real purpose in my life. Your "purpose" in life seems to be largely filled with gaming. While our passions/purposes aren't too similar, we have this in common - we both desired to satisfy something deep within us.

This church I went to was one that was bent around rules and traditions. Most of the people at this church were a bunch of hypocrites (I definately fit right in ) While attending, I heard various bits and pieces about Jesus. I heard that He was actually God in the flesh. I heard every Sunday that He came, lived a perfect, sinless life, and died on a cross for my sins. I heard that he rose from the dead! However, I never learned from this church how this Jesus guy really applied to me, or why he died for my sins. One day, a friend of mine invited me to their church. I went. I was blown away by what I saw. The people at this church had something radically, yet subtly, different about them than the people at my church. I kept attending because of my curiosity. Plus, these people seemed to genuinely love me for who I was - again, unlike the people at my church. I quickly found out, that these new people I had met had a relationship with Jesus Christ!? I learned that the Bible explains that God wants to know each of us personally! I knew my life was filled with sin (see my above "purposes/passions"). Sin is simply actions, thoughts, purposes, ect. that are against what God wants for us. I also learned that this sin had separated me from God and I deserved to be eternally separated from God because of these (hell). BUT!!!....God desires that no one (including you and me!) would go to hell. He promises that anyone who places their faith in Christ to pay for their sins will be saved from this punishment! Not only saved, but seen as totally clean before God for the rest of eternity!! This was the final piece I was missing in my bits and pieces about God I had heard at my church. So, I prayed to Jesus: I thanked God for sending Jesus to die for my sins, sincerely apologized for my sins against God, and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and to be the Lord of my life. I knew that God would do these things because he promises in the Bible to do so for anyone who will humble themselves and ask!

This was 10 years ago. At the time I began my relationship with Jesus, nothing instantly changed. However, over time, my passion and desire to satisfy myself with girls, being the popluar guy, and porn were replaced with a desire for Jesus and to glorify Him. You know what??....for the first time in my life, I had found TRUE satisfaction and fulfillment!! I know for certain that Jesus is the only answer in the entire universe for anyone to be truly satisfied. I know...I tried lots and lots of things and nothing else worked!

Well man, that's my story. Every day my life is changed and molded by my relationship with Jesus. He has changed my life and satisfied me in a way that nothing else could, or ever will. This is all really hard to communicate while typing. But I read your post and thought to myself, "I used to heading in the exact same direction as this guy." I was compelled to write you and tell you the answer that can only be found in Jesus! I hope you don't feel like I'm preachin to you. I'd like to know your thoughts about all of this Later!

Joe Golliher
fonzinator1@yahoo.com

 

[Maleficus]

Originally posted by: Mani

Originally posted by: Maleficus

Originally posted by: Mani

Originally posted by: Maleficus

Originally posted by: Mani
Do more things besides the pool league. Do something physical like work out, ride a bike, run and you'll be surprised how good it can make you feel. Go out, meet people, and make friends. If after doing all that you still feel hollow maybe your life needs to take a spiritual direction to fill the void.

so what do you do when you

have friends
tried working out/ swimming / riding bikes
online gaming
lost all faith in religion

?

thats me. Im still bored as hell and cant find a thing that interests me at all.

My best suggestion, though it easier said than done is to get a girlfriend.

I've yet to find a girl that i like, one that i truly enjoy her company. its not like you can just go and pick one up ( or at least i can't ) im not interested in a shallow relationship.

If you don't think any of these things will work, then you have to ask yourself if you're really giving them a chance or if you're closing yourself off to them. You honestly don't think you've ever met a girl that you like? Are you sure you're not judging all religion by just a few? If nothing excites you, you may just be depressed, in which case I would suggest that make an appointment with a psychiatrist.

I don't know if i am really giving them a chance but it seems to me that i am. Sure there are plenty of girls i liked, but none that i wanted a relationship with. Of course i am judging all religion by a few i havent tried them all or even a handful. Nope, nothing excites me at all seen 2 psychiatrists and 1 counselor all say at absolute worst i am very mildly depressed and all is well up in the noggin.

 

[PistachioByAzul]

Live on the beach in Hawaii and build surfboards for a living. Sitting inside at an office job all day is wasting your life no matter how much money you make.

 

[illusion88]

Originally posted by: EngineNr9
Live on the beach in Hawaii and build surfboards for a living. Sitting inside at an office job all day is wasting your life no matter how much money you make.

Not if you enjoy what you are doing. To someone who just lives to troubleshoot, and has the best IT job ever, they are very fulfilled. If they hate to surf, building boards isnt going to be much fun.

As for me, I would love to outside for all of my waking hours. Right now, that wont work. I get out when I can.

 

[PistachioByAzul]

Games just distract from the emptiness, I figured that out too. A girl won't help you either, you'll probably just end up hurting her, I figured that one out as well. I just put in two weeks notice at my "good" office job this Friday. I do image editing/graphic design.

A few people have told me I'm crazy and that that is just life, you have to put up with an empty existance, "working a sh!t job to buy sh!t I don't need". A necessary evil they'd have you believe, you have to work an unfulfilling job so that you can retire when your life is towards it's end. I finally figured it out, they and most people in the first world are in denial. TV, movies, games, the internet, cars, all the stuff we think we need, are just distractions. Sex also ends up being a distraction.

I wish I had an answer for you because then I would have one for myself, but I don't. Ideally, you could sell/burn everything you own, travel the world, and find peace in the tropics somewhere. That's my dream

 

[PistachioByAzul]

I doubt it. Human beings weren't meant to sit in an office 8-9 hrs a day in front of a little screen. I think we're just so good at BSing ourselves that some think they enjoy it, but if they don't know the real pleasure of being alive then they don't know what they're missing.

 

[wnied]

Find a good woman.

I agree.
~wnied~

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: EngineNr9
Games just distract from the emptiness, I figured that out too. A girl won't help you either, you'll probably just end up hurting her, I figured that one out as well. I just put in two weeks notice at my "good" office job this Friday. I do image editing/graphic design.

A few people have told me I'm crazy and that that is just life, you have to put up with an empty existance, "working a sh!t job to buy sh!t I don't need". A necessary evil they'd have you believe, you have to work an unfulfilling job so that you can retire when your life is towards it's end. I finally figured it out, they and most people in the first world are in denial. TV, movies, games, the internet, cars, all the stuff we think we need, are just distractions. Sex also ends up being a distraction.

I wish I had an answer for you because then I would have one for myself, but I don't. Ideally, you could sell/burn everything you own, travel the world, and find peace in the tropics somewhere. That's my dream

If only peace would be that easy to find. Thought would not stop, and nor would the emptyness. The only way to really find peace is to find something (or someone) you are willing to dedicate your life to. That can be work, religion, a relationship, a fight you believe in, or something else to fill the emptyness. The advantage of doing social work is that you can make yourself feel needed, so you have something to hold on to while searching for a purpose.

 

[Maleficus]

Originally posted by: EngineNr9
Games just distract from the emptiness, I figured that out too. A girl won't help you either, you'll probably just end up hurting her, I figured that one out as well. I just put in two weeks notice at my "good" office job this Friday. I do image editing/graphic design.

A few people have told me I'm crazy and that that is just life, you have to put up with an empty existance, "working a sh!t job to buy sh!t I don't need". A necessary evil they'd have you believe, you have to work an unfulfilling job so that you can retire when your life is towards it's end. I finally figured it out, they and most people in the first world are in denial. TV, movies, games, the internet, cars, all the stuff we think we need, are just distractions. Sex also ends up being a distraction.

I wish I had an answer for you because then I would have one for myself, but I don't. Ideally, you could sell/burn everything you own, travel the world, and find peace in the tropics somewhere. That's my dream

the difference is you have a dream, that gives you a goal something to work for. some people ( i.e. me ) dont

 

[exp]

that hollowness feeling is still there

Make sure you're doing the following:

1) Exercise at least several times per week.
2) Get on a regular sleep cycle.
3) Eat a balanced diet, and be especially sure to get your necessary RDA of vitamins & minerals.

I know that advice sounds stupid and trivial when you think you're dealing with a serious mid-life crisis, but it's amazing how many people tell me they feel "empty", "restless", "depressed", etc. only to later reveal under questioning that they aren't taking care of their bodies properly. If your body is being mistreated that will register in mental fatigue or unhappiness.

Yeah, you may have some other issue but your physical wellbeing worth looking into, anyway.

 

[PistachioByAzul]

Well even if you have some ideal of what you'd like to do, the hardest part is still giving up the MIND NUMBING security of money and stuff. When your whole rat race life is worked out for you by your society, and that's all you know how to do to be, it's hard to relearn how to live. It is easier just stay in the rut of being a complacent zombie, sleepwalking through life.

I think people are risk takers. We have to go out there an be daring, try new stuff, learn as much as we can. The home-work-home-shop routine is not life it is death.

 

[adlep]

It is about time to start the family

 

[idNut]

I myself am drifting through life also. I don't really care about the future, the past, the present. Games are starting to get boring. Movies are just as redundant. My attraction to women is nearing its ending also. Life is dull.

"Life is the same damn thing over and over again"

 

[BD231]

I think the most simple way to deal with something like that is to just live with the fealing and try to expand other areas of your life. There's no quick fix for a person who has been stuck in one frame of mind for a long time, it takes time to switch, and your hardest battle will probably be motivation. Keeping calm, not dwelling on what's wrong and finding things that make you happy will move you along with life. Counseling is also a good option.

 

[novon]

find your inner self...or a guru

 

[weezergirl]

do you have friends? I don't know, every once in awhile I laugh so hard or something will make me smile and all I can think about is I am so glad I was alive to experience this moment. That's what keeps me going.

 

[GiLtY]

Get out, play some sports, that's what I do (easier for me, I'm still in HS)... but I find sport really helps people to get over depression. Especially sports such as mountain biking, you'll feel much accomplished when you get to the top of the mountain!

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: fonzinator
I'll probably get flamed for this but I don't care...XFILE, I have a similar story:

I believe everyone wants a purpose and a direction in their life. I certainly do. My passion in life used to be getting girls to like me and to do things that would make me look good. I thrived on being a smart, level-headed guy that the ladies would want and the guys would all like. I found temporary satisfaction when I would date a girl for a while or be the popular guy, but at the end of the day, I still felt empty inside; unfulfilled. I turned to pornograhy to satisfy myself - again leaving my unfulfilled. I also went to church every Sunday where I went through the motions - these didn't satisfy me either. Sadly, I no real purpose in my life. Your "purpose" in life seems to be largely filled with gaming. While our passions/purposes aren't too similar, we have this in common - we both desired to satisfy something deep within us.

This church I went to was one that was bent around rules and traditions. Most of the people at this church were a bunch of hypocrites (I definately fit right in ) While attending, I heard various bits and pieces about Jesus. I heard that He was actually God in the flesh. I heard every Sunday that He came, lived a perfect, sinless life, and died on a cross for my sins. I heard that he rose from the dead! However, I never learned from this church how this Jesus guy really applied to me, or why he died for my sins. One day, a friend of mine invited me to their church. I went. I was blown away by what I saw. The people at this church had something radically, yet subtly, different about them than the people at my church. I kept attending because of my curiosity. Plus, these people seemed to genuinely love me for who I was - again, unlike the people at my church. I quickly found out, that these new people I had met had a relationship with Jesus Christ!? I learned that the Bible explains that God wants to know each of us personally! I knew my life was filled with sin (see my above "purposes/passions"). Sin is simply actions, thoughts, purposes, ect. that are against what God wants for us. I also learned that this sin had separated me from God and I deserved to be eternally separated from God because of these (hell). BUT!!!....God desires that no one (including you and me!) would go to hell. He promises that anyone who places their faith in Christ to pay for their sins will be saved from this punishment! Not only saved, but seen as totally clean before God for the rest of eternity!! This was the final piece I was missing in my bits and pieces about God I had heard at my church. So, I prayed to Jesus: I thanked God for sending Jesus to die for my sins, sincerely apologized for my sins against God, and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and to be the Lord of my life. I knew that God would do these things because he promises in the Bible to do so for anyone who will humble themselves and ask!

This was 10 years ago. At the time I began my relationship with Jesus, nothing instantly changed. However, over time, my passion and desire to satisfy myself with girls, being the popluar guy, and porn were replaced with a desire for Jesus and to glorify Him. You know what??....for the first time in my life, I had found TRUE satisfaction and fulfillment!! I know for certain that Jesus is the only answer in the entire universe for anyone to be truly satisfied. I know...I tried lots and lots of things and nothing else worked!

Well man, that's my story. Every day my life is changed and molded by my relationship with Jesus. He has changed my life and satisfied me in a way that nothing else could, or ever will. This is all really hard to communicate while typing. But I read your post and thought to myself, "I used to heading in the exact same direction as this guy." I was compelled to write you and tell you the answer that can only be found in Jesus! I hope you don't feel like I'm preachin to you. I'd like to know your thoughts about all of this Later!

Joe Golliher
fonzinator1@yahoo.com

Why didn't I think of this before? The answer to all of life's problems is to become a Jesus freak.. Where do I sign up?