I'm drifting thru life... :(

[Maleficus]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: fonzinator
I'll probably get flamed for this but I don't care...XFILE, I have a similar story:

I believe everyone wants a purpose and a direction in their life. I certainly do. My passion in life used to be getting girls to like me and to do things that would make me look good. I thrived on being a smart, level-headed guy that the ladies would want and the guys would all like. I found temporary satisfaction when I would date a girl for a while or be the popular guy, but at the end of the day, I still felt empty inside; unfulfilled. I turned to pornograhy to satisfy myself - again leaving my unfulfilled. I also went to church every Sunday where I went through the motions - these didn't satisfy me either. Sadly, I no real purpose in my life. Your "purpose" in life seems to be largely filled with gaming. While our passions/purposes aren't too similar, we have this in common - we both desired to satisfy something deep within us.

This church I went to was one that was bent around rules and traditions. Most of the people at this church were a bunch of hypocrites (I definately fit right in ) While attending, I heard various bits and pieces about Jesus. I heard that He was actually God in the flesh. I heard every Sunday that He came, lived a perfect, sinless life, and died on a cross for my sins. I heard that he rose from the dead! However, I never learned from this church how this Jesus guy really applied to me, or why he died for my sins. One day, a friend of mine invited me to their church. I went. I was blown away by what I saw. The people at this church had something radically, yet subtly, different about them than the people at my church. I kept attending because of my curiosity. Plus, these people seemed to genuinely love me for who I was - again, unlike the people at my church. I quickly found out, that these new people I had met had a relationship with Jesus Christ!? I learned that the Bible explains that God wants to know each of us personally! I knew my life was filled with sin (see my above "purposes/passions"). Sin is simply actions, thoughts, purposes, ect. that are against what God wants for us. I also learned that this sin had separated me from God and I deserved to be eternally separated from God because of these (hell). BUT!!!....God desires that no one (including you and me!) would go to hell. He promises that anyone who places their faith in Christ to pay for their sins will be saved from this punishment! Not only saved, but seen as totally clean before God for the rest of eternity!! This was the final piece I was missing in my bits and pieces about God I had heard at my church. So, I prayed to Jesus: I thanked God for sending Jesus to die for my sins, sincerely apologized for my sins against God, and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and to be the Lord of my life. I knew that God would do these things because he promises in the Bible to do so for anyone who will humble themselves and ask!

This was 10 years ago. At the time I began my relationship with Jesus, nothing instantly changed. However, over time, my passion and desire to satisfy myself with girls, being the popluar guy, and porn were replaced with a desire for Jesus and to glorify Him. You know what??....for the first time in my life, I had found TRUE satisfaction and fulfillment!! I know for certain that Jesus is the only answer in the entire universe for anyone to be truly satisfied. I know...I tried lots and lots of things and nothing else worked!

Well man, that's my story. Every day my life is changed and molded by my relationship with Jesus. He has changed my life and satisfied me in a way that nothing else could, or ever will. This is all really hard to communicate while typing. But I read your post and thought to myself, "I used to heading in the exact same direction as this guy." I was compelled to write you and tell you the answer that can only be found in Jesus! I hope you don't feel like I'm preachin to you. I'd like to know your thoughts about all of this Later!

Joe Golliher
fonzinator1@yahoo.com

Why didn't I think of this before? The answer to all of life's problems is to become a Jesus freak.. Where do I sign up?

no need to rain on some guys parade, not like its going through your house.

 

[Dragoon42]

dude, quit whining and crying. and all this depression talk, everyone has a right to be depressed, but people abuse it now. Everytime something happens its always "he's depressed" blah blah blah. You want some purpose in life? go make a goal. I mean when you were in college and getting those degrees didn't you have something to look forward too? a wife/husband, kids, traveling the world? I mean why did you even go to college if you didn't have a goal?

 

[BD2003]

Another drifter here. About to grad college.

Not sure wtf I'm going to do afterwards. I am sure that a 9-5 desk job is not for me, at least not in the near future.

I'd considered joining the reserve as an officer, but joining the reserve now is "Do not pass go, go directly to war". I dont believe in this new war one bit, so that is on hold.

I have thought about how my whole life up until this point I have been aiming towards a goal...graduating the school I'm currently attending. I dont see climbing the corporate ladder as really fufilling.

Dunno whats next, but I guess that is half the fun.

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: fonzinator
I'll probably get flamed for this but I don't care...XFILE, I have a similar story:

I believe everyone wants a purpose and a direction in their life. I certainly do. My passion in life used to be getting girls to like me and to do things that would make me look good. I thrived on being a smart, level-headed guy that the ladies would want and the guys would all like. I found temporary satisfaction when I would date a girl for a while or be the popular guy, but at the end of the day, I still felt empty inside; unfulfilled. I turned to pornograhy to satisfy myself - again leaving my unfulfilled. I also went to church every Sunday where I went through the motions - these didn't satisfy me either. Sadly, I no real purpose in my life. Your "purpose" in life seems to be largely filled with gaming. While our passions/purposes aren't too similar, we have this in common - we both desired to satisfy something deep within us.

This church I went to was one that was bent around rules and traditions. Most of the people at this church were a bunch of hypocrites (I definately fit right in ) While attending, I heard various bits and pieces about Jesus. I heard that He was actually God in the flesh. I heard every Sunday that He came, lived a perfect, sinless life, and died on a cross for my sins. I heard that he rose from the dead! However, I never learned from this church how this Jesus guy really applied to me, or why he died for my sins. One day, a friend of mine invited me to their church. I went. I was blown away by what I saw. The people at this church had something radically, yet subtly, different about them than the people at my church. I kept attending because of my curiosity. Plus, these people seemed to genuinely love me for who I was - again, unlike the people at my church. I quickly found out, that these new people I had met had a relationship with Jesus Christ!? I learned that the Bible explains that God wants to know each of us personally! I knew my life was filled with sin (see my above "purposes/passions"). Sin is simply actions, thoughts, purposes, ect. that are against what God wants for us. I also learned that this sin had separated me from God and I deserved to be eternally separated from God because of these (hell). BUT!!!....God desires that no one (including you and me!) would go to hell. He promises that anyone who places their faith in Christ to pay for their sins will be saved from this punishment! Not only saved, but seen as totally clean before God for the rest of eternity!! This was the final piece I was missing in my bits and pieces about God I had heard at my church. So, I prayed to Jesus: I thanked God for sending Jesus to die for my sins, sincerely apologized for my sins against God, and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and to be the Lord of my life. I knew that God would do these things because he promises in the Bible to do so for anyone who will humble themselves and ask!

This was 10 years ago. At the time I began my relationship with Jesus, nothing instantly changed. However, over time, my passion and desire to satisfy myself with girls, being the popluar guy, and porn were replaced with a desire for Jesus and to glorify Him. You know what??....for the first time in my life, I had found TRUE satisfaction and fulfillment!! I know for certain that Jesus is the only answer in the entire universe for anyone to be truly satisfied. I know...I tried lots and lots of things and nothing else worked!

Well man, that's my story. Every day my life is changed and molded by my relationship with Jesus. He has changed my life and satisfied me in a way that nothing else could, or ever will. This is all really hard to communicate while typing. But I read your post and thought to myself, "I used to heading in the exact same direction as this guy." I was compelled to write you and tell you the answer that can only be found in Jesus! I hope you don't feel like I'm preachin to you. I'd like to know your thoughts about all of this Later!

Joe Golliher
fonzinator1@yahoo.com

Why didn't I think of this before? The answer to all of life's problems is to become a Jesus freak.. Where do I sign up?

Mock not those who have found happiness. What have you?

 

[melly]

i thought guys wanted nothing more than to be footloose and fancy free and play games all day long?

 

[gotsmack]

It seems like you need a vacation and a goal. Make a list of things you want to do within 10 years, and extend that list to things you want to do before you die. Make the last item really big. Mine is to be listed in Forbes and one of the richest people alive.

 

[yellowperil]

Don't know what to say, except make a list of long-term goals you want to accomplish, figure out a way to accomplish them, and do it. If you can't think of anything to list (like I was), that means you don't want badly enough to change your pace of life. Some people get used to feeling empty and lonely and live the rest of their lives that way. If the thought of dying empty scares you (and it should), you really need to make that list and stick to it.

 

[FelixDeCat]

Find someone who loves you. No matter who that happens to be. Go see your family. Meet their kids. Remember their names.

 

[Jugernot]

Originally posted by: SlowSS
Find a good woman.

In some cases I'd agree... but I think that'll cause him even more problems.

 

[Grminalac]

Honestly XFILE, it sounds like you have reached the point where you need to speak with a doctor. I am not calling you crazy or anything like that, but sometimes when you have those hollow depressed feelings there really is no reason behind them, and there is no lifestyle change you can make to avert those feelings. I would reccomend a psychiatrist. I am not suggesting you goto a doc thats going to give you some medication and send you on your way, I would do a bit of study, talk to some people and then visit a psychiatrist that will help you get yourself back.

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: Jugernot

Originally posted by: SlowSS
Find a good woman.

In some cases I'd agree... but I think that'll cause him even more problems.

Maybe in his current situation, if he gets infatuated with a woman he'd probably stalk her or something.

 

[jaeger66]

Originally posted by: Dragoon42
dude, quit whining and crying. and all this depression talk, everyone has a right to be depressed, but people abuse it now. Everytime something happens its always "he's depressed" blah blah blah. You want some purpose in life? go make a goal. I mean when you were in college and getting those degrees didn't you have something to look forward too? a wife/husband, kids, traveling the world? I mean why did you even go to college if you didn't have a goal?

Some people work very hard towards a goal only to find it hollow and unfulfilling once they attain it. Now move along, unless you're not finished being shallow and trite.

 

[DoNotDisturb]

You are one, sad, individual

 

[Azraele]

yeah, but i dont know what what that "different" thing is. how do i search for something that i dont know what i'm searching for

Try new things.

 

[thomsbrain]

try doing something creative instead of playing games. just a suggestion.

 

[gotsmack]

Originally posted by: jaeger66

Originally posted by: Dragoon42
dude, quit whining and crying. and all this depression talk, everyone has a right to be depressed, but people abuse it now. Everytime something happens its always "he's depressed" blah blah blah. You want some purpose in life? go make a goal. I mean when you were in college and getting those degrees didn't you have something to look forward too? a wife/husband, kids, traveling the world? I mean why did you even go to college if you didn't have a goal?

Some people work very hard towards a goal only to find it hollow and unfulfilling once they attain it. Now move along, unless you're not finished being shallow and trite.

I think the three guys who ate 5 Fatcats each in 1 sitting to get a new one named after them found that accomplishing their goal was quite fulfilling.

 

[spidey07]

XFILE,

You sound jaded by the things you used to love. If this feeling has been going on for many months it is time to talk to your doctor. Seriously. You could be feeling this way for any number of simple ailments.

Talk to your doctor. Make an appointment tomorrow. Who knows? He might just run some blood work on you and find out your low on a vitiamin or glucose or who knows.

Talk to your doctor. He my even recommend a psychiatrist if needed (remember there are other physical conditions as well)

Talk to your doctor.

 

[faZZter]

X-File-

I suggest if you think you could have any musical talent to take up guitar or piano. Music has definitely helped me through tough times, and if you can learn to write eventually, sad things in life can greatly inspire you to write good music.

Also you might try finding some new friends who, by there enthusiasm, also inspire you to come up with new exciting ideas.

I have found some people can make you feel like anything is possible. Try finding someone like that, who loves life and hang out with them when you can.

 

[abu]

Originally posted by: SlowSS
Find a good woman.

 

[abu]

Originally posted by: Howard

Originally posted by: Jugernot

Originally posted by: SlowSS
Find a good woman.

In some cases I'd agree... but I think that'll cause him even more problems.

Maybe in his current situation, if he gets infatuated with a woman he'd probably stalk her or something.

hehe

 

[Soybomb]

Originally posted by: EngineNr9
I doubt it. Human beings weren't meant to sit in an office 8-9 hrs a day in front of a little screen. I think we're just so good at BSing ourselves that some think they enjoy it, but if they don't know the real pleasure of being alive then they don't know what they're missing.

Its all perspective man, I love computers and I don't think there is much else I would ever consider doing. Maybe video stuff again or writing, but I'd rather not. To me life isn't about getting sand in my crack sitting on the beach. I think the real human experience is interacting with others, sharing stories, thoughts, ideas. Networked computers are seriously changing the ways people interact and I want to be a part of that. How long ago would you have thought affordable home broadband would be an option, let alone being able to rebroadcast it out so you can send pictures to someone from the beach that you want to be on? I don't want to just interact with a few people, I want the world, and I want to help others do the same. Drop me in a network engineering job, especially for an ISP and I couldn't be happier. It probably sounds a little lame to most but I like the idea of it.

Xfile: Just keep trying stuff until you find something that makes you happy. I've always found a little extra joy in having a g/f to spend time with, but you need to be happy with yourself first and can't rely on someone else to make you happy. Are you still doing support? If so it might be time for career change or at least a path altering, if your callers were anything like the ones I used to deal with no wonder you're feeling down.

 

[Greyd]

Originally posted by: fonzinator
I'll probably get flamed for this but I don't care...XFILE, I have a similar story:

I believe everyone wants a purpose and a direction in their life. I certainly do. My passion in life used to be getting girls to like me and to do things that would make me look good. I thrived on being a smart, level-headed guy that the ladies would want and the guys would all like. I found temporary satisfaction when I would date a girl for a while or be the popular guy, but at the end of the day, I still felt empty inside; unfulfilled. I turned to pornograhy to satisfy myself - again leaving my unfulfilled. I also went to church every Sunday where I went through the motions - these didn't satisfy me either. Sadly, I no real purpose in my life. Your "purpose" in life seems to be largely filled with gaming. While our passions/purposes aren't too similar, we have this in common - we both desired to satisfy something deep within us.

This church I went to was one that was bent around rules and traditions. Most of the people at this church were a bunch of hypocrites (I definately fit right in ) While attending, I heard various bits and pieces about Jesus. I heard that He was actually God in the flesh. I heard every Sunday that He came, lived a perfect, sinless life, and died on a cross for my sins. I heard that he rose from the dead! However, I never learned from this church how this Jesus guy really applied to me, or why he died for my sins. One day, a friend of mine invited me to their church. I went. I was blown away by what I saw. The people at this church had something radically, yet subtly, different about them than the people at my church. I kept attending because of my curiosity. Plus, these people seemed to genuinely love me for who I was - again, unlike the people at my church. I quickly found out, that these new people I had met had a relationship with Jesus Christ!? I learned that the Bible explains that God wants to know each of us personally! I knew my life was filled with sin (see my above "purposes/passions"). Sin is simply actions, thoughts, purposes, ect. that are against what God wants for us. I also learned that this sin had separated me from God and I deserved to be eternally separated from God because of these (hell). BUT!!!....God desires that no one (including you and me!) would go to hell. He promises that anyone who places their faith in Christ to pay for their sins will be saved from this punishment! Not only saved, but seen as totally clean before God for the rest of eternity!! This was the final piece I was missing in my bits and pieces about God I had heard at my church. So, I prayed to Jesus: I thanked God for sending Jesus to die for my sins, sincerely apologized for my sins against God, and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and to be the Lord of my life. I knew that God would do these things because he promises in the Bible to do so for anyone who will humble themselves and ask!

This was 10 years ago. At the time I began my relationship with Jesus, nothing instantly changed. However, over time, my passion and desire to satisfy myself with girls, being the popluar guy, and porn were replaced with a desire for Jesus and to glorify Him. You know what??....for the first time in my life, I had found TRUE satisfaction and fulfillment!! I know for certain that Jesus is the only answer in the entire universe for anyone to be truly satisfied. I know...I tried lots and lots of things and nothing else worked!

Well man, that's my story. Every day my life is changed and molded by my relationship with Jesus. He has changed my life and satisfied me in a way that nothing else could, or ever will. This is all really hard to communicate while typing. But I read your post and thought to myself, "I used to heading in the exact same direction as this guy." I was compelled to write you and tell you the answer that can only be found in Jesus! I hope you don't feel like I'm preachin to you. I'd like to know your thoughts about all of this Later!

Joe Golliher
fonzinator1@yahoo.com

I'd have to agree with fozinator there. I went through something very similar. I had pretty much grown up in the church and pretty much felt like I knew it all when it came to Christianity. I was popular in highschool, had good friends and a pretty decent life. Then I entered college and I started really, seriously questioning everything that I had learned before. I pretty much stopped attending church and forgot all about Christianity. I had tons of friends to party with, spent alot of time with people and things seemed to be going pretty well. But through everything, I kept feeling an emptiness that i couldn't dismiss.

Online games weren't really developed back then, so I spent alot of time hagning out with people and doing other activities, hooking up with girls,etc. But I still felt this nagging emptiness, something that really woudln't go away. Those times where i wasn't preoccupied with anything, the nagging became all the more "vocal." I was reminded of the emptiness all the more. I really wondered if there was a purpose in life. Then a friend of mine invited me to church and I went not really expecting anything.

What I found was not so much a "good church" that helped me (though it was a radically different church and a good one at that) but I found God. I can't really explain it, but let's just say I met God. I'm not saying I saw a vision or anything crazy like that, but from that point on - i could not deny that God was very real and not just something that I had been raised to believe in.

Ever since then, all I can say is that life with God was the answer I was looking for. Christian life is not some walk in the park as many might believe. I think its harder to live life as a Christian. But more than anything else... I can say without a shadow of a doubt, I would never trade my life as a Christian for anything. I have found the true reason for living in my life. i have found frustrations, struggles harder than anything I have gone through before - but I have never been more satisfied and fulfilled than I am now.

Paul summed it up when he said "But whatever was to my profit I now conisder loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ and be found in him..." Philippians 3:7-8

People sometimes use this simple illustration when talking about the emptiness you are describing. They say that every heart has a "cross shaped" hole in it. Many times we try to fit things that don't quite fit, into that cross shaped hole. This leads to our feelings of emptiness. The only thing that correctly fits it is Christ. More than the realization of that emptiness being something like depression, I personally feel that God is "poking" at your heart, trying to "get your attention." Don't pass this chance up. If you truly seek God with all your heart, you will find him. That's my testimony. Feel free to PM if you would like to know more.

Greyd

 

[pac1085]

I know how you feel. I played everquest for a year, and still feel the same way I did the day I quit...feels like somethings missing, i keep wanting to go back to that game, even though i know I wont really enjoy it. It's been almost a year since I stopped playing and i havent really changed anything. Winter just makes things worse, since you cant really get out and have fun. I dunno what to do either at this point.

 

[stebesplace]

I had been addicted and played online games since i can remember the internet. My heaviest hitter was Half-life, and Counter Strike. Since 99ish, maby earlier, I had played it religiously. THrough college and until about a year and a half ago. I was the number one player on our servers. I was good, and i knew it. I had gone to ECL competitions, joined leagues, almost went to texas for nationals, but decided i had no money. It was a fast life. Then one day, i sat back, looked at my monitor, and started to think. I started to think. . ."Man I have no women, i have a couple friends, i need to look for a job, i'm a looser, a true to life compter dork who stays cooped up in a damn room and plays computer games, when I should be out with friends or ladies having fun."

That was just about what I said, and that very same day, I uninstalled all games cept solitare. God i need a little comething. . .

And for a year and a half, I've just been doing other things. More things like sking, dating, biking, excersize, working out. I've lost alot of weight and are looking toned. I found myself meeting new people, and new women, but not as much yet, he!l thats another topic all together. . .

Anyways, there are other things that may make you feel like pool is an alternate to your games, but man, pool is a hell of alot more health than sitting at a computer burning your retina's. At least pool can get your concentration built up, focus on things in life better, etc. . .

You will find love, friends, and things to do in due time. All it takes is a little umpf, and a devotion to get out and do some sh!t.

Hope this helps,


-Steve

 

[JEDI]

Originally posted by: jjones
It sounds as if your world is built upon a series of distractions that keep you from really participating in life. Maybe this is the hollowness you feel. You have one of two choices: either put away your childish games and do something real in the world, or accept the little you are doing with your life and enjoy yourself.

For myself, I spent a lot of time living in the real world but opted out about 8 years ago to do just a little and enjoy a life on the beach with my family. It all depends what you want but you need to set goals, whatever they may be, and then begin achieving them. So far it sounds as if you're avoiding that by keeping yourself occupied and passing the time with games.

yes, i'm avoiding the real world w/games. but it's no longer fulfilling me. and i dont know what to do in the real world. like i said in my post, i see no aim or purpose in my life

what did you do when you were living in the real world b4 you opted out for the beach life?