I'm in the dog house tonight..... Pics added

[UsandThem]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: UsandThem
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Damn... how old are you guys?

I am 29 and she is 27.

That stuff only happens when I am not here. The place never looks like that when I am here.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: UsandThem

Originally posted by: shimsham


hes only 3. they go crazy in an instant. since its his first offense with you there just make sure he knows he cant do it, and next time its a spanking.

This is about his tenth offense. Once it happened when I was here with him. He put a marker in his underwear and went to his room and colored all over a blanket. He understood that night not to do that again.

The other times were all when my wife was here with him.

I think he is becoming a repeat offender

Your wife is doing your kid a disservice by allowing him to challenge authority and get away with it.

He should be spanked by your wife next time he does it.
...

And then maybe, you should spank your wife... (with pics)

 

[Krazy4Real]

You guys seriously need to get some counseling. Something is up with your wife.

 

[bamacre]

Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude

Originally posted by: UsandThem
What a nice sleep I had...my neck is killing me.

Well, luckily I got most of the marker out of the carpet, however it is still noticeable.

Just to clarify it wasn't a screaming match in front of the kids. The kids went to their rooms, and it was never much of a true screaming match. I just stated what I wanted to say.

I guess why I was so upset (besides seeing the black marker on the carpet) is she has been driving me nuts lately.

She has gotten into a bad habit of staying up and watching TV until like 4am, and she ends up only getting three hours of sleep before she has to go to work (she works part time) or getting up with kids. She has been doing this for six months or so, and she is barely functional the next day......she will go to sleep in less than a minute sometimes when she is sitting on the couch. When this happens the kids will just destroy the house.

I will come in and the house will be destroyed. She will be cooking and she is so out of it, she will let the food boil over and get all over the stove and drip pans (which I always seem to have to clean).

I took several pictures of what it looked like before because she does not seem to see the same things that I do, but I still have two picture left that I did not delete. I deleted out most because it seems to be a fight I can't win.

I have brought it up to her several times, but she seems to think it is ok, and doesn't think it is that bad.

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IMO, you're wife is depressed. Seek professional advice and help asap.

:thumbsup: Or has a drug problem. Or both.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: UsandThem
What a nice sleep I had...my neck is killing me.

Well, luckily I got most of the marker out of the carpet, however it is still noticeable.

Just to clarify it wasn't a screaming match in front of the kids. The kids went to their rooms, and it was never much of a true screaming match. I just stated what I wanted to say.

I guess why I was so upset (besides seeing the black marker on the carpet) is she has been driving me nuts lately.

She has gotten into a bad habit of staying up and watching TV until like 4am, and she ends up only getting three hours of sleep before she has to go to work (she works part time) or getting up with kids. She has been doing this for six months or so, and she is barely functional the next day......she will go to sleep in less than a minute sometimes when she is sitting on the couch. When this happens the kids will just destroy the house.

I will come in and the house will be destroyed. She will be cooking and she is so out of it, she will let the food boil over and get all over the stove and drip pans (which I always seem to have to clean).

I took several pictures of what it looked like before because she does not seem to see the same things that I do, but I still have two picture left that I did not delete. I deleted out most because it seems to be a fight I can't win.

I have brought it up to her several times, but she seems to think it is ok, and doesn't think it is that bad.

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Those symptoms sound like depression to me or complete and utter laziness (caused by depression). She may need some help.

 

[MikeyIs4Dcats]

Originally posted by: brxndxn
If you don't use corporal punishment, you deserve it and the years of hardship that follow..

qft. Your wife definitely needs an ass whopping.

 

[AMCRambler]

Yeah my brother is going through the messy face with his kids now. They were nuts and decided to have 3 kids with no more than two years between them. They got a 5yr, 3yr and 1yr. Your house looks neat compared to theirs. I dont think your wife is having troubles with depression so much as she's having trouble maintaining some authority with the kids. Something tells me you're the enforcer and she's the good cop. I think you need to get on her about not letting the kids do anything they want. My brother and his wife are working on this also. Start with the coloring, and make them stay in one spot and color. Say the kitchen table. Markers when they come out stay in the kitchen on the table. No running around the house with the markers or they get taken away. It works. They had the same problem with the kids bringing their juice cups all over the house and then dumping grape juice on the carpet. Now juice stays in the kitchen. Just gotta get the Mrs to buy in.

 

[Homerboy]

Originally posted by: dullard
You both are asses. The reason your wife is an ass is obvious. So obvious even Helen Keller could spot it a mile away. So I won't go into that. I will point out how you were an ass.

Never, ever say anything like that in the heat of the moment. Your wife was correct, it wasn't helping the situation "right now". Right now, the mess needed cleaning and the kid needed punishment. Those should have been your only two priorities. Talk to her in person, AWAY FROM THE KIDS, the next day. Get on the same page as her on your own time, not in panic time around your kids.

What good can possibly come from arguing in the presence of your children? Is that how you want your children to treat their spouses when they grow up (remember they'll do anything you do, but 10 times worse)? Think about it.

WINNAR plain and simple.

 

[SarcasticDwarf]

Hey usandthem, link the pics in the original posts. Not everyone has it set to the default 20 or 40 posts per page.

 

[AStar617]

Originally posted by: UsandThem
What a nice sleep I had...my neck is killing me.

Well, luckily I got most of the marker out of the carpet, however it is still noticeable.

Just to clarify it wasn't a screaming match in front of the kids. The kids went to their rooms, and it was never much of a true screaming match. I just stated what I wanted to say.

I guess why I was so upset (besides seeing the black marker on the carpet) is she has been driving me nuts lately.

She has gotten into a bad habit of staying up and watching TV until like 4am, and she ends up only getting three hours of sleep before she has to go to work (she works part time) or getting up with kids. She has been doing this for six months or so, and she is barely functional the next day......she will go to sleep in less than a minute sometimes when she is sitting on the couch. When this happens the kids will just destroy the house.

I will come in and the house will be destroyed. She will be cooking and she is so out of it, she will let the food boil over and get all over the stove and drip pans (which I always seem to have to clean).

I took several pictures of what it looked like before because she does not seem to see the same things that I do, but I still have two picture left that I did not delete. I deleted out most because it seems to be a fight I can't win.

I have brought it up to her several times, but she seems to think it is ok, and doesn't think it is that bad.

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Originally posted by: UsandThem
I will come home, and every dish in the house is dirty and on the counter. I will ask her how that many dishes got dirty and say that she is not leaving them for me to clean.

She will say "Well you left a plate and bowl for me to clean yesterday"

We have been married for six years, but I don't think I can take much more. I have been trying to do my best for the kids, but I am at a breaking point with her.

Out of respect, in my earlier post I didn't drive home the possiblity of your wife having some deeper rooted issues until you decided to take the lead yourself. Your wife is in dire need of a drastic reality check. Unfortunately it's up to you to see that it is provided, and that requires not thinking "wtf just happened" during "incidents", but actual forced accountability. It's not fun, but neither is the status quo.

Anyone saying "OMGWTFNOTINFRONTOFTHEKIDS" clearly is lucky enough to have a more rational spouse than yours, as it doesn't appear that the wife has been receptive to real problem solving discussion even behind closed doors. If you ask me, use whatever is necessary, and DO stress it at the time of the incident. She is showing childlike qualities and thus the negative reinforcement must be directly linkable to the offense for her to get it, IMHO.

Good luck.

 

[UsandThem]

Originally posted by: bamacre

:thumbsup: Or has a drug problem. Or both.

No drug problem. She is against alcohol, tobacco, everything.

She used to get so mad when I would bring home a 6 pack of beer. She would go to the bedroom and lock the door.

She has improved in some of those areas at least.

I agree that we need some help......now if she will agree to it.

Maybe I can email Dr. Phil and get on that show. She watches that one all the time.

 

[UsandThem]

Originally posted by: AMCRambler
Yeah my brother is going through the messy face with his kids now. They were nuts and decided to have 3 kids with no more than two years between them. They got a 5yr, 3yr and 1yr. Your house looks neat compared to theirs. I dont think your wife is having troubles with depression so much as she's having trouble maintaining some authority with the kids. Something tells me you're the enforcer and she's the good cop. I think you need to get on her about not letting the kids do anything they want. My brother and his wife are working on this also. Start with the coloring, and make them stay in one spot and color. Say the kitchen table. Markers when they come out stay in the kitchen on the table. No running around the house with the markers or they get taken away. It works. They had the same problem with the kids bringing their juice cups all over the house and then dumping grape juice on the carpet. Now juice stays in the kitchen. Just gotta get the Mrs to buy in.

One day I came in and there was red juice spots on the carpet. I asked what happened, and she said "What red stains?".

I showed them to her (they were right in front of the TV so I don't see how she missed them) and she said that she didn't know but the kids did have fruit punch at the TV and must have spilled some.

That never came out of the carpet fully either.

 

[Gravity]

Boys will be boys, that's for sure. It's not his fault, it's hers. She clearly has a hard time accepting responsibility for her behavior. I hope it's not a pattern. I don't know why you have to sleep on the sofa. Sleep in the bed with her and if she doesn' like it, she's free to find the sofa herself.

 

[TGS]

Remove the balls from the jar, and put that hovering foot down. Not to sound insensitive, but the women isn't respecting you. I've had similiar incidents that happened both under the watch of my wife or myself. Each time we come to an agreement that the parent supervising them is clearly at fault, in situations like these.

I know I'm sounding crass but you need to make sure she understands that. My kids are 2 and 4, so I *definately* know what kind of trouble they can get into when you don't supervise them enough.

Edit:

If she is having some "issues" obviously take care of those as well. If she's not putting forth the effort to maintain order in the house though, that's another case to be made.

Just for the record, for my family reward/punishment system work *extremely* well. For my kids, taking away the things they love the most, and isolating them from their favorite activities works wonders compared to spanking. Obviously every household is different, but our system works well and again IMO is less stressful than having to spank your children.

 

[Fireball77]

Okay, you had every reason to get mad. Sounds like your wife is taking the hands off approach to raising children....that house is a mess....what does she do all day....does she work at all? Looks like a full day of watching tv, staying on the internet, and just slinging food or markers at the kids to keep them out of her hair. I am not saying this to be mean....I was once married to the same type of woman with two step-children. She didnt do crap, and never cared....so seeing this hit close to home. I feel sorry for you, I know what you are going through

 

[rudder]

Originally posted by: UsandThem
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I would spank the wifes butt for not getting into the kitchen and cleaning it up. you got dishes from 3 days ago stacked up.

speaking of that we need :camera:'s.

 

[AStar617]

Originally posted by: Fireball77
Okay, you had every reason to get mad. Sounds like your wife is taking the hands off approach to raising children....that house is a mess....what does she do all day....does she work at all? Looks like a full day of watching tv, staying on the internet, and just slinging food or markers at the kids to keep them out of her hair. I am not saying this to be mean....I was once married to the same type of woman with two step-children. She didnt do crap, and never cared....so seeing this hit close to home. I feel sorry for you, I know what you are going through

My cousin's marriage recently ended due to an unruly stepchild who the wife insisted was "just going through a phase". If you ask me (and him, clearly), there is no acceptable toddler phase that covers consistently scribbling with markers over everything, including big screen TVs.

 

[evilmantis]

Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude

IMO, you're wife is depressed. Seek professional advice and help asap.

I second that.
Insomnia is a big symptom of depression, as is lethargy. Ask her if she is really happy.

Good luck.

 

[jvnn]

Well, I know lacquer thinner will remove sharpie, but it's toxic as hell and will probably remove the dye from the carpet too, so don't try this unless you're willing to screw up the carpet worse than it is.

 

[mercanucaribe]

Your wife is an idiot... It's one thing to let it go when he colors with washable markers, but she actually GAVE HIM A SHARPIE.

 

[FoBoT]

some kids are like that

fighting about it won't help, you both need to work together


good luck

 

[MikeyIs4Dcats]

I own that same vacuum. Mine apparently WORKS MUCH BETTER THAN YOURS.

 

[newParadigm]

Originally posted by: tw1164
Remember in marriage you have two options
1) You can be right
or
2) You can be happy

You can't have both.

QFT, one thing you NEVR bitch out on tho, your car and your comp, and beer, and vodka. Ok thats like four things but, its like one group. Guns can go, football can even go, but my car, comp, beer, and vodka will STAY!!!

 

[AStar617]

Still kinda curious if OP ever told his wife all about herself like she so desperately needs.

 

[UsandThem]

Originally posted by: AStar617
Still kinda curious if OP ever told his wife all about herself like she so desperately needs.

We are still not talking.......two days on the couch.

We will talk when she gets off of her high horse. Until then it will be a little chilly around here.