Imbibe My Sacred Penis-Milk !!!

[DigDog]

An evangelical pastor arrested for raping his faithful, after convincing them that his penis contained “sacred milk” .

Sobrino Valdeci Picanto, an evangelical pastor from Brazil, persuaded his followers that he practiced oral sex because it was the way he preached the word, saying that his ‘milk’ was sacred.



And this pastor said his penis was blessed and that “the Lord had consecrated with divine milk of the Holy Spirit” and of course, had to go around evangelising.

“He convinced us that only God could come into our lives through the mouth”, a follower said, “Often, after worship, Pastor Valdeci asked us to do oral sex on him until the Holy Spirit came through ejaculation and delivered funds to the church.”

Seems legit.

 

[styrafoam]

Disappointed that this thread was just a story rather than a genuine opportunity

 

[JSt0rm]

basically all religion in a nut shell.

 

[KeithP]

Do you think he ask his followers to pray for a second coming?

FYI...it is apparently a hoax

http://wonkette.com/518553/brazilia...owers-holy-milk-from-his-peen-he-meant-sperms

-KeithP

 

[Captante]

FYI...it is apparently a hoax

I certainly hope so.

 

[sandorski]

Everyone knows that semen is the cream of the blood!

 

[Spacehead]

I need to start a church

I would look out over my followers of women & they would be like...

 

[Ichinisan]

Do you think he ask his followers to pray for a second coming?

FYI...it is apparently a hoax

http://wonkette.com/518553/brazilia...owers-holy-milk-from-his-peen-he-meant-sperms

-KeithP

:awe:

 

[JSt0rm]

I need to start a church

I would look out over my followers of women & they would be like...

Excellent post/user name combo.

 

[Blue_Max]

Ahhhhhhmennn! :sneaky: ()

 

[sportage]

Why is it religion ALWAYS wants the flock to drink something?
Wine, blood of Christ, cyanide tainted kool-aid, and now... well... THIS?
This obsession with liquids.
Walking on water, dunked in water, sprinkled with water.
Lets just keep it dry for a change and if liquid must be involved, keep that to the local bar tender after the show.

 

[Ichinisan]

Why is it religion ALWAYS wants the flock to drink something?
Wine, blood of Christ, cyanide tainted kool-aid, and now... well... THIS?
This obsession with liquids.
Walking on water, dunked in water, sprinkled with water.
Lets just keep it dry for a change and if liquid must be involved, keep that to the local bar tender after the show.

The story in the OP is not real.

They also do communion with bits of bread/crackers.

 

[RelaxTheMind]

his followers sucked

 

[Bird222]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74J_R9Bifj8

 

[Darwin333]

The story in the OP is not real.

They also do communion with bits of bread/crackers.

Actually, according to them, it is the literal flesh of Jesus and the wine is the literal blood of Christ. So cannibalism and vampirism are already in play, maybe they just wanted to spread some of their own holy fluids?

 

[Ichinisan]

Actually, according to them, it is the literal flesh of Jesus and the wine is the literal blood of Christ. So cannibalism and vampirism are already in play, maybe they just wanted to spread some of their own holy fluids?

In the Bible, Jesus gave bread and wine as he said "this is my flesh..." and "this is my blood..."

Pretty obvious that it's symbolic.

It's hard to believe a sect/denomination/whatever (Catholics?) interprets the Bible to mean "literally the flesh and blood of Christ." They definitely do not speak for all of Christianity.

 

[DigDog]

i heard a while back that the early books which eventually became the bible had much more sex in them, specifically things like the phallus festival they have in japan - obviously they are fertility myths; which eventually got expunged because, you know, it's kinda hard to push a book as being written by god, when it's got stuff like "make sure you swallow" in it.

 

[SP33Demon]

dumb hoax is dumb