In response to the recent shooting by a lonely, crazed gunman

[ivan2]

it's all that I learned after watching episode 6 of this season's top gear. go ugly early.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: DAPUNISHER
Unrealistic standards and expectations, is a primary reason why so many people struggle with romance and/or achieving intimate relationships.

Fixed.

 

[Auggie]

There's a technical term for what the OP is discussing. Psychologists refer to this as "shoot middle early" from social experiments where they identified a population of males who target the middle (not the most attractive, not the ugliest) at the beginning of social interactions (at the beginning of a party, for example).

This is also a strategy uncovered in sexual selection studies done by biologists studying animals in the wild. The alpha male usually gets the top females, but the other males usually are equally likely to find a mate because they take the middle road right off the bat instead of fighting for the top 5% female.

 

[swbsam]

Also, even unattractive girls make for good stories. After a bitter break up I went to a bar and and needed to lose my virginity a second time (I was with one girl for 7 years) - I "went ugly early" and the girl didn't have a personality to justify my decision. We ended up watching a movie that she paused every time her cat did something cute. It was obvious why she wasn't getting much action.. We ended up in her bedroom and her cat was just staring at us the whole time - she even asked that I don't make a lot of noise because she didn't want to scare her cat!

I finished the deed, waited until she feel asleep, and left myself out. I wasn't trying to be mean or even use her, but there was a reason that she was so easy.. AND A REASON I WAS SO EASY..

 

[lokiju]

On the flip side I know females that are holding out for their "Brad Pitt" or whatever when they're overweight and are painfully shy and quiet.

Everyone needs to just drop the bullshit unrealistic desires and just date and date until you find the one you want to keep.

Hell my Brother in law is guilty of this, my wifes best friend is guilty of this on the female side.

 

[swbsam]

Originally posted by: lokiju
On the flip side I know females that are holding out for their "Brad Pitt" or whatever when they're overweight and are painfully shy and quiet.

Everyone needs to just drop the bullshit unrealistic desires and just date and date until you find the one you want to keep.

Hell my Brother in law is guilty of this, my wifes best friend is guilty of this on the female side.

I agree with you 100% - date, date, date. Build your experiences with the opposite sex and make aesthetics the last priority. Of course, don't date/fuck someone who makes you ill (though, by and large, women have much better hygiene then us nerds who smell like chicken soup in the summer), but go out with as many people as you can! practice, practice, practice! Standards are great, but set realistic ones and, if you're so angry and lonely that you think of doing something violent, just realize that your standards are to blame, not women. Unless you're a total un-datable douchebag, of course. Then you're still to blame, so I suggest blowing your brains out versus hurting innocent people.

 

[DAPUNISHER]

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: DAPUNISHER
Unrealistic standards and expectations, is a primary reason why so many people struggle with romance and/or achieving intimate relationships.

Fixed.

You are right, of course. I was just thinking about how some studies site physical appearance of a potential S.O. being much more important to men than women. Women rank intelligence and occupation/financial security above looks in some studies. Anecdotally, it often seems the case to me too.

"Trophy wife" "what is she doing with him?" are oft used phrases.

 

[n yusef]

I wouldn't say that you must "go ugly," but everyone (women and men) should realize that they are not entitled to a relationship with a supermodel, or anyone at all.

 

[sandorski]

Cindy Crawford will be knocking on my door any moment now.

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

Originally posted by: Auggie
There's a technical term for what the OP is discussing. Psychologists refer to this as "shoot middle early" from social experiments where they identified a population of males who target the middle (not the most attractive, not the ugliest) at the beginning of social interactions (at the beginning of a party, for example).

This is also a strategy uncovered in sexual selection studies done by biologists studying animals in the wild. The alpha male usually gets the top females, but the other males usually are equally likely to find a mate because they take the middle road right off the bat instead of fighting for the top 5% female.

I start at the bottom, that way things can only get better.

It helps if you have a scuba tank incase she's into face sitting.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Originally posted by: ryan256
This is something I've been trying to tell guys for a long time. Quit looking at porn for what a perfect woman should look like. Of the entire female population .1% have the porn star bod. Meaning you have to be one of the smartest, richest, and sexiest guys to even have a chance. Most people I know would consider this girl to be plain and unattractive. I disagree.
I noticed in reading this whack job's journal that hes mainly mentioning hot nubile 20 somethings that he's masturbating over. YOU ARE OVER 40!! There's your first F'n problem right there! Look for women in your age range and you'll have much better luck! Hell I know women that age that all they want is an occasional good bang. They aren't interested in a relationship. Isn't that every mans dream? Or supposed to be?

Quoted and bolded for truth. Also, online is NOT a replacement for real world encounters. I have a close friend, who's really upset over the fact that he hasn't met someone he could marry.

He's a real nice, standup and interesting guy. Unfortunately, he's not the best looker, not in the best shape, can be socially awkward, and approaching 40. Yet he still looks for the hot 20-something hookups on myspace. Oh, he goes on a thousand dates, and even gets lucky now and then. But 99.997% of the time, you're just not gonna connect with a person who you have no generational commonality and met on the global headquarters for booty-calls, gold-diggers and false personalities.

 

[Insomniator]

I don't really think there are that many ACTUALLY ugly girls. Most are just fat and that is something they can change. Same for guys also, but there does seem to be more ACTUALLY ugly guys than girls.

Any girl that isn't obese and is just well kept in general is not likely to be ugly. The problem is at least from what ive seen women and guys seem to think its ok to weigh 250 pounds and wear clothes from walmart. Sure you may not be stunningly beautiful, but if you just put some damn work into it you will look great compared to 90% of the people I see. Actually walmart clothes are ok, just attempt to put some freakin style into it. Sweatpants and an xl t-shirt with cats on it = not ok (exception: keyboard cat wolf shirt is always ok).

that's just my stance... i dunno are a lot of guys REALLY holding out for a supermodel and thinking anything else is ugly?

 

[mcmilljb]

Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
Well, in my experience, ugly women ban be bitches too, and then what have you got?

A bitchy, ugly EX gf or EX wife.

FML

Fixed

 

[TallBill]

My ex wife was fucking gorgeous, and now I'm ruined in my expectations of women. That said, I'm pulling enough 6-8's to get by till I get a 9+ again.

 

[Svnla]

Originally posted by: ryan256
This is something I've been trying to tell guys for a long time. Quit looking at porn for what a perfect woman should look like. Of the entire female population .1% have the porn star bod. Meaning you have to be one of the smartest, richest, and sexiest guys to even have a chance. Most people I know would consider this girl to be plain and unattractive. I disagree.
I noticed in reading this whack job's journal that hes mainly mentioning hot nubile 20 somethings that he's masturbating over. YOU ARE OVER 40!! There's your first F'n problem right there! Look for women in your age range and you'll have much better luck! Hell I know women that age that all they want is an occasional good bang. They aren't interested in a relationship. Isn't that every mans dream? Or supposed to be?

Plain? kinda, a little make up and fix up would do wonder for her.

Unattractive? Heck no, like I just said, if she gets some make up and dress up, she could be a very presentable chickadee.

I think the guy was mad because that young chick was with another old guy like him, not some hot young college muscular guys <that guy was 45 and the shooter was 48>.

 

[Fox5]

Originally posted by: surfsatwerk
I've dated, been married, and been alone. I much prefer being alone than being with some chick I don't give a damn about. Also Fatties smell bad.

You only say that because your libido had died down. If you had the sex drive of a teenager or young 20s, you'd probably put up with anything for sex.

 

[Svnla]

Originally posted by: swbsam
...... then us nerds who smell like chicken soup in the summer.......

Sire, I have to let you know that I smell like a pretty young flower in the summer

Another thing I think the shooter was upset at the ladies was because of his mom. If you read his blog, he had a strong hate of his mom..heck even his dad, brother. He only did not hate a handful of people.

 

[Martin]

Unrealistic expectations go both ways. As the old joke goes, men want a lady on their arm and a whore in the bedroom, but women have their own equally contradictory versions. Men must be tough and strong, yet sensitive and emotionally available. They must know what they want and take control, yet take the woman's feelings in considerations etc. They're all possible, but it's an awfully fine line to be treading.

When I listen to either my guy or girl friends talk/complain about the opposite sex, I try to mentally construct the person they're after and nearly always end up with some ridiculous character.

 

[surfsatwerk]

Originally posted by: Fox5

Originally posted by: surfsatwerk
I've dated, been married, and been alone. I much prefer being alone than being with some chick I don't give a damn about. Also Fatties smell bad.

You only say that because your libido had died down. If you had the sex drive of a teenager or young 20s, you'd probably put up with anything for sex.

My libido is fine, I'm just worn out on banging ugly chicks. It wears on a man's soul, it does.

 

[cheezy321]

Originally posted by: swbsam

Originally posted by: cheezy321
I give this rant an 8/10.

Even fatties need lovin every once in a while.

But they gotta pay for it!

Sorry, just kidding of course!

Here's the thing - I'm all for people falling in love based on personalities but here's the kicker.

The positives of dating a fatty, even if you're superficial:
1. I've seen it many times - fatty girls in relationships get real happy like, and get un-fatty, often turning into knock outs...

2. You're building your inter-personal skills, even if things don't work out. Not only do you lose your virginity, FINALLY, but you learn how to talk to women.

3. You become a person who gives other people a chance, and that's good for your soul!

4. Fattys are loyal


p.s. I'm a fatty too, so I can say this shit

These are my standards:

1. They have to look good without makeup on. This is probably the first thing I try and recognize. If the girl isnt naturally beautiful, I instantly skip over them.

2. I wont date fatties. I have a high metabolism, therefore its pretty hard for me to gain weight. Im 6'0 175 lbs (165 right now cuz im trying to cut weight). I wont date girls who are 'fat'. In my opinion, they will always stay fat.

3. I love dating tall women. For some reason, that is what I am attracted to. I dont want them to be taller than me, but in my last serious relationship the girl was 5'10" and a girl im talking to now is 5'11". I guess height is one of my "things".

4. I used to date strictly natural blondes. I am Norwegian so I guess that is why I go after them. I changed this standard lately and have moved to women with different hair colors.

5. Their personality has to kick ass. They have to understand my type of humor. I mess around with EVERYONE. Lots of people dont understand that I am messing around, and my significant other has to understand it.

What is funny is that most of this is all figured out within a minute or two of meeting that person.

Also, DATE DATE DATE! It doesnt matter if you dont think the girl is a long term solution. Just date so you know how to deal with women. The more you date, the more you will know about the opposite sex. Then you can use it to your advantage

 

[StinkyPinky]

I'd rather be alone that force myself to date some fatty. Sorry.

 

[CRXican]

Originally posted by: SSSnail
How about just give it up more and often?

this is the true solution

 

[DangerAardvark]

Originally posted by: surfsatwerk
I've dated, been married, and been alone. I much prefer being alone than being with some chick I don't give a damn about. Also Fatties smell bad.

That's why you have to Febreeze their fat folds every once in a while. Read the maintenance guide that comes with the fatty.

 

[AstroManLuca]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky
I'd rather be alone that force myself to date some fatty. Sorry.

Well, like one guy said early in the thread, you could also "shoot middle early" and go for the "plain" girl with a decent body who isn't fat. There is some middle ground between supermodels and fatties, even though ATOT may deny it.

 

[zoiks]

Videos of the dude.
http://starcasm.net/archives/11164