Finally saw Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls, and it didn't work for me on a lot of levels.
Warning, there be spoilers ahead.
I actually liked the whole sci-fi premise of the movie...that Indiana Jones goes on a journey to explore the extraterrestrial and its alleged link to technologies of the ancient world is a nice variation to his previous search for religious artifacts.
The execution of the story however, failed on many levels:
- Harrison Ford is too old to reprise the role, and it showed. That, and he has been away from the character for too long. His delivery was off, the tough guy talk lacked the humorous bend of the previous movies, and he had no chemistry with any of the supporting cast.
- The whole nuclear test zone sequence was unnecessary and a bit far fetched, even for an Indiana Jones movie...I realize that nuclear testing was an iconic image of the 1950s, but having Indiana Jones survive a blast by climbing into a lead lined refrigerator...come on.
- The warehouse sequence. The opening sequence of the last three Indiana Jones movies were unique action sequences, yet established plot threads that would subsequently emerge later in the film. The whole Russians in Nevada thing didn't work for me...and of course, Lucas couldn't resist showing the Ark in the warehouse.
- The escapes...Indiana Jones always escapes by the skin of his teeth, yet the suspense of how he accomplishes it is what makes the movies so exciting...in Krystal Skull, he escapes via a conveniently placed rocket sled and a few instances of simply running behind cover despite numerous guns already pointed at him...limited use of the whip...no classic confrontations like the Cairo swordsman scene, German mechanic fight, Venice boat escape or Thugee rope bridge encounter. I guess the whole jungle chase/waterfall escape was cool, but it felt like we have seen it before. It was a very well done action sequence, but somewhat cliche.
- Stealing from the movies that stole from Indiana Jones...did anyone else get a Mummy vibe during the whole giant killer ants sequence?
- 1950s Communist paranoia: The movie makes somewhat of a political statement of Americans being afraid of Communists under their beds, and the whole political climate of the era...perhaps a reference to the current WoT in America. Yet in the movie, communists are seemingly able to move freely across America, accents and all, so perhaps the threat was real???
- Mac's character...I am a traitor...no I am a double agent...no I am a traitor again. Ray Winstone is a great actor, and his talents were largely wasted...Mac, you are no Belloq.
- Marion Ravenwood...not much more than a cameo...the spunk of the original character never showed itself...she was there simply to introduce the Mutt character, and for the cheesy wedding scene at the end. That, and the chemistry between Marion and Indiana Jones, given their shared history, was rather stale...and what happened to Marion who could drink any man under the table...I was hoping for a Marion/Spalko vodka contest at the very least!!!
- Mutt. It is obvious that Lucas and Speilberg intend to continue the franchise through Mutt, but why? It totally destroys the continuity of the Young Indiana Jones chronicles, and Mutt as a character was annoying at best...not to mention the iconic hat blowing to his feet at the end of the movie...ugh.
- Mutt again: Swinging through the forest like Tarzan??? Conveniently dropped out of fencing school, so they can have a sword fight later in the movie. Totally forced.
- Spalko: Women in Indiana Jones movies, whether heroine or villain, have sexual tension with Indiana Jones...Spalko was a cold fish...she was supposed to have telepathic powers, but they never explore this in the movie. Everyone goes gaga over Cate Blanchett as an actress, but she played Spalko with the same coldness as she did Galadriel in LoTR...that and her Russian accent was horrible.
- Random Enemies: Who were the skull masked adversaries in the hilltop tombs? Who were the natives living in the lost city at the end of the movie? Seems like they just emerged to provide an action sequence.
- The Russians: Utter buffoons...the Nazis and Thugees, although they couldn't shoot any better than the Russians, at least seemed like formidable adversaries to Indiana Jones.
- Ox: Another wasted character. The Indiana Jones movies are usually about the main character figuring out mysteries of the ancient world. Yet with the Ox character, Indiana Jones was largely in co-pilot mode following Ox's lead. No deciphering ancient booby traps or ancient riddles.
- The Big ILM Ending: Ok, so the aliens are inter-dimensional beings...I get it...but what the hell happened at the end? Indiana Jones reunites the skull with the other aliens of the collective, and that starts a whole gee whiz special effects sequence that conveniently kills off the baddies but doesn't really fit in with the story.
I would rank Crystal Skull as the worst of the Indiana Jones films. Ironically enough, I like Temple of Doom better than Last Crusade...I think Temple of Doom aged better as a darker film. Raiders of course will always be the first and the best.