Introducing Myself to ATOT

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AreaCode707

Lifer
Sep 21, 2001
18,440
101
91
You have, at your age, the right to make your own decisions and hopefully the wisdom (it seems so) to consider your mother's reasoning. I think you made your own choice in this situation and it isn't a bad one. You reacted maturely, not making it into a big blow up deal, not having a bad attitude, not being rebellious or sulky.

The change of plans probably isn't horribly inconvenient for your bf and his friend, so that's not a major factor. You gave some good reasons for your choice and, while your mom may need to thoroughly learn later that you're making your own decisions now, I think you can pick a better time for that.
 

badmouse

Platinum Member
Dec 3, 2003
2,862
2
0
Welcome :beer:

On the one hand MOM
sick
mentally stressed & needy
paying the bills

On the other hand BOYFRIEND
healthy (we assume)
pleasure trip

Seems like MOM deserves this round. Advice: next time, don't tell her. Freedom & asserting your independence needs to be tempered by mature judgment & learning from experience.



 

Jzero

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
18,834
1
0
Yay for Mawrters.

I don't like to hear it from my mom, so when I was that age and wanted to take a road trip, I just wouldn't tell her.

Now the cat's out of the bag, I think you did a good thing for your dear old mother.

Next time, keep your trap shut
 

Rachael

Senior member
Mar 16, 2006
363
1
0
Originally posted by: GeneValgene
how many days were you planning to be gone?
tell her you have been planning this trip for a while
promise her you will call once every night during the trip

Friday to Sunday
Did
Promised every thirty minutes, even

Originally posted by: aswedc
OMGHI2U from University City

Does your mom pay for college? If yes, she's still always right. If no, you're an adult, do what you want.

OMGHI2U2! Yes, she does pay. *nods*

Originally posted by: vshah
nomination for best post of the year.
breakdown:

female poster: check
pics included without endless badgering: check
long post includes cliffnotes: check


oh but we have a few surprises for you yet...

Why thank you! I'll look forward to them

 

JS80

Lifer
Oct 24, 2005
26,271
7
81
Originally posted by: zoiks
I frankly think that you did the right thing. That's because you probably don't need more stress in your moms life. That said, I can't understand why your taking a vacation would cause her so much stress or grief.

NY at this time is not a good idea either prolly. You guys should head out when its warmer. I know that iceskating in Rockefeller center sounds romantic but still...

I agree. You did a good thing by being honest with your mother. Family > *. Your friends may come and go, but your mother will always...be your mother. I commend you for not putting more stress onto her situation.
 

mdcrab

Platinum Member
Feb 9, 2001
2,105
0
0
Maybe you should ask EGGO if your Mom could go along too to NC. It might do her good to get away.
 

ModerateRepZero

Golden Member
Jan 12, 2006
1,573
5
81
I would say you made the right choice provided your mother's concerns were legitimate (ie financial aid info would be impossible to fill out without your presence), and that you if not your mom can accept the inevitable stress and uncertainty that would happen on long trips (ie. relocating when accepting a job, driving 5+ hours). As much as I think family's important, the fact that stress/worry of this kind is inevitable is why I think that as a matter of general principle trying to please your mom to avoid stress is unwise.

Still, it was a hard decision, but at least you spent some time thinking about your choices and picked the one that you thought you can live with. I personally can't quarrel with your reasoning.
 

Cristatus

Diamond Member
Oct 13, 2004
3,908
2
81
Well, personally, I don't think it matters on the age, but the fact that you are taking care of your mother, even by being in the same city as her. I don't know how old your mother is, but from what I hear, most people usually put their parents in nursing homes and put the burden of taking care of them on someone else.

Although you are not under your mother's rule anymore, it does help if you listen to her once in a while (and those once in a while are hopefully at the right moment). I mean, she is only going to rule over you totally for so much longer. She is doing this because she cares for you and she needs you to be there, not because she hates you. How many times has your mother left you at home alone on the weekends, when you were feverish, while she went shopping, or something else, un-important. Based on your answer to this, you should answer your original question of whether you should go or not.

Althought your mother's health is an important issue, you also mention that you had some important forms to sign the next weekend. Now, I don't know how important these forms are, but if the only time that the financial advisor is able to meet you will be next week, then you should re-schedule your things for him, because, after all, he is helping you. I don't know how long the financial advisor will be talking with you, but maybe you could go for a one day trip (note: I don't know any of the US's geography, and I don't know where you live, and I don't know how you are travelling, how long the travelling is going to be for, and how many hours are actually travelling, and how many hours are in NC) Unless you can do without his help, I suggest you postpone this trip till later, if you really want to go.

Hope this helps.
 

Willoughbyva

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2001
3,267
0
0
I think you did the right thing. Hopefully your mom will make a full recovery from what ails her. Your mom will eveentually have to let you make your own decisions about your life, but she is sick and you did a good thing by abiding by her wishes. Hopefully EGGO will understand that in this case you have to abide by your moms wishes.
 

Willoughbyva

Diamond Member
Sep 26, 2001
3,267
0
0
BTW I just want to add that my mother passed away a few years ago. Friends and aquantences come and go, but family is a very important thing in anyones life. They need consideration sometimes.
 
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