Is drinking to excess most weekends (Sat, maybe Fri also) every weekend make you a....

[mooglemania85]

Originally posted by: AcidBath
So like every weekend the better half and I drink to the point of being wasted almost every Saturday and many Friday nights after the kids go to bed.
We are 28 (me) & 23 (her) with two kids (5 & 2). So I guess my question is if this makes us:

Originally posted by: AcidBath
I am the wife, 24 to be exact! just seeing this post and it s 4am am it pretty much pisses me off! first of all if your a mother wasted and one of your kids has a problem, you immediately sober up! There isn't an option! if you go to go to bed and your kid wake's up puking, you don't sleep! at least I don't! Some of your reply's are gay! you a parentally don't have children, thats obvious, I'm not saying that you have to have 13 drinks to relax, you don't but just because your a parent don't mean your live as drinking is over! do I think my husband drinks too much? yes, but does that effect how good of a dad he is? no, All I'm saying is I have stayed up till after 4am and I know I will be getting up around 7am with my daughter thats just the sacrifice you make being a parent, but it docent make you a bad one!

Where the hell is the option for not getting wasted in the first place. Oh, and get off your damn high horse. Having kids doesn't make you a fvcking saint. Assuming you and your husband are posting on this 1 account, how old is the wife anyway? He says 23, she says 24? Shens or you're just morons. If you're gonna post crap like this at least get your damn story straight.

 

[zerocool84]

Ahh this is why young people should not have kids......................

 

[Xyclone]

Originally posted by: zerocool84
Ahh this is why young people should not have kids......................

QFT. Graduating from college/uni should be a higher priority than having kids.

 

[rpanic]

OP your behavior is very reckless and selfish to your children which should be the most important thing in your life. I use to do the same thing but the day my wife became pregnant it stopped and I am the only one in the relationship that like to drink. Both of you need to be sober for your children and you never know what might happen when you are drunk. My parents were like you and your wife and growing up it always took time away from me as a child with my dad having a hang over or being to tired every other weekend and not being there 100% for me. You may think you are not affecting your children, but trust me you are and you will not be able to tell until its to late. I have watched so many friends that had kid in their 20s and never slowed down with the partying and it caused them a lot of problems and I can see it in their kids now that they are a little older.


At least being here and asking if you have a problem is a beginning. When you have kids there are some things that you just have to change, its part of growing up.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

common sense says one of you needs to stay sober

 

[Christobevii3]

You should probably keep drinking.

 

[KK]

Must resist to post bad thoughts...Don't want to get banned...

 

[AreaCode7O7]

You answer your own question in the thread title. You say you are drinking "to excess", that is:

- 4. a going beyond what is regarded as customary or proper: to talk to excess.
- 5. immoderate indulgence; intemperance in eating, drinking, etc.
- ?adjective
- 6. more than or above what is necessary, usual, or specified; extra: a charge for excess baggage; excess profits.
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/excess)

By definition, drinking to excess means drinking more than is normal and healthy. The level to which you are drinking is physically unsafe, possibly in the short term and definitely in the long term.

Children also do learn from and mimic their parents' behavior, so putting aside the other parenting arguments made in the thread, consider whether you want your daughter to do this as she goes into her teenage and adult years.

13-14 drinks is not "drinking to relax". 1 or 2 drinks is drinking to relax. The level at which you are regularly drinking indicates an alcohol problem, and that you ask about it shows that you are aware it is a problem.

Give a call and just chat with someone to get a more experienced opinion than you will receive on the forums: http://www.alcoholics-anonymou..._meeting.cfm?PageID=29

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: 2Xtreme21
Not to say I don't condone your actions, but what if your 5 year old has some kind of emergency at night-- would you be OK enough to handle it? I don't think calling 911 while black-out wasted saying that your kid is sick, and them showing up to your house to find you as such would fit very nicely with the emergency personnel.

That's a good point

 

[Q]

Originally posted by: AcidBath
I am the wife, 24 to be exact! just seeing this post and it s 4am am it pretty much pisses me off! first of all if your a mother wasted and one of your kids has a problem, you immediately sober up! There isn't an option! if you go to go to bed and your kid wake's up puking, you don't sleep! at least I don't! Some of your reply's are gay! you a parentally don't have children, thats obvious, I'm not saying that you have to have 13 drinks to relax, you don't but just because your a parent don't mean your live as drinking is over! do I think my husband drinks too much? yes, but does that effect how good of a dad he is? no, All I'm saying is I have stayed up till after 4am and I know I will be getting up around 7am with my daughter thats just the sacrifice you make being a parent, but it docent make you a bad one!

The answer to all of this is easy. Ask a doctor if what you are doing is OK. And like someone earlier stated, you can't just 'sober up' on a whim like Superman or something. That's like saying "Oh, I can drink 10 beers because once I get in the car and realize I'm going to drive, I'll just automatically sober up!!"

:thumbsdown:

 

[Modular]

I concur that as long as there aren't any effects on your kids, then you are completely fine.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

is drinking...make you a ____?

wha?

 

[Gooberlx2]

There's nothing wrong with drinking...not even drinking every weekend (in moderation). Getting shitfaced with friends and having fun is a part of social life and party enjoyment at any adult age.

However, compulsively and intentionally binge drinking and getting obliterated every weekend-night, especially with kids in the house does present itself as a problem, imo. If it's to the point where you and your wife can't sit down and say "hey, let's not get wasted and just watch a movie", then it's definitely a problem.

Originally posted by: AcidBath
Well I feel quite a bit better after the opinions. I guess the real warning sign would be if my kids start to be affected (which has not been an issue).
Three cheers for water and Tylenol before bed.

FWIW, you're probably in no position to tell whether or not your kids are being affected. Kids often will hide their emotions from the people they love.

 

[poopaskoopa]

1. I'll call shens just so AcidBath can't say that he pwned me.
2. I'm not a parent.
3. As a son of a deceased alcoholic father I'm biased against drinking to excess, so I'm skeptical about your ability to determine whether or not your behavior is negatively affecting your kid. How do you know if it's affecting your kids? You've been drinking as long as they've been alive. You have no baseline to compare against. I didn't have a big red sign on my forehead that said "I hate it when my father gets drunk" when I was 6 or 7(that's when my parents got divorced). Are you confident that, growing up, watching how you are now, your kids won't spend their fridays and saturdays with 14 drinks? Does that bother you? Do you want your kids to see you get drunk every week? Is this how you want to be remembered?

 

[OVERKILL]

^

 

[Robor]

Originally posted by: AcidBath
I am the wife, 24 to be exact! just seeing this post and it s 4am am it pretty much pisses me off! first of all if your a mother wasted and one of your kids has a problem, you immediately sober up! There isn't an option! if you go to go to bed and your kid wake's up puking, you don't sleep! at least I don't! Some of your reply's are gay! you a parentally don't have children, thats obvious, I'm not saying that you have to have 13 drinks to relax, you don't but just because your a parent don't mean your live as drinking is over! do I think my husband drinks too much? yes, but does that effect how good of a dad he is? no, All I'm saying is I have stayed up till after 4am and I know I will be getting up around 7am with my daughter thats just the sacrifice you make being a parent, but it docent make you a bad one!

I'm reading through this week old thread (haven't seen the entire thing) and I'm guessing this is about where it's going to get really interesting.

Edit: Went about as expected.

(Sorry for bumping a 3 day since last post thread. It's a slooooooow day @ work)

 

[hellokeith]

So long as one of you or your wife are sober enough to take the kid to the hospital in case of emergency, then you're fine.

I have a buddy who's friend gets passed-out drunk with his son at home during the daytime. THAT is irresponsible.

 

[GuitarDaddy]

This thread reads as a sad cry for help

1. Op and wife, you are classic alc-ies and yes it is a problem, get help
2. The wifes drunken rebuttal post is classic.

And all the hard partying 20 somethings chimming in to say "Ah, it's OK as long as it doesn't affect the kids" or "as long as someone can drive to the hospital", thats exactly what I would have said when I was in my 20's or even 30's (I was a slow learner:beer

But as a 50yo who lives with the effects of drinking to excess I can assure you
1. Drinking in excess (to get plastered) is never a good thing at any age
2. Drinking and parenting don't mix, period. Drinking is a self indulgence that a good parent can rarely afford

 

[StinkyPinky]

Wow, my wife and I would never get drunk with our son in the house. That's crazy, what if your kid(s) have an emergency? What if the house gets on fire, and you're too wasted and your reasoning is impaired? When you have children you make sacrifices, and laying off the booze is one of them. Sure have one or two drinks, but not to the point where you are wasted. Sorry man I'm just telling it like it is.

 

[oiprocs]

I think KeithTalent nailed it at the start of the thread. As long as it is not affecting your kids in ANY way whatsoever, do what makes you happy.

You sound like you have your kids in mind so that's good, just be sure to keep them there. There are few people in this world that don't detest negligent parents.

 

[skulkingghost]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky
Wow, my wife and I would never get drunk with our son in the house. That's crazy, what if your kid(s) have an emergency? What if the house gets on fire, and you're too wasted and your reasoning is impaired? When you have children you make sacrifices, and laying off the booze is one of them. Sure have one or two drinks, but not to the point where you are wasted. Sorry man I'm just telling it like it is.

That is what I was going to post.

 

[OVERKILL]

AcidBath,


After reading all the comments,
Do you think that you and your wife may have a drinking problem?

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: AcidBath
I am the wife, 24 to be exact! just seeing this post and it s 4am am it pretty much pisses me off! first of all if your a mother wasted and one of your kids has a problem, you immediately sober up! There isn't an option! if you go to go to bed and your kid wake's up puking, you don't sleep! at least I don't! Some of your reply's are gay! you a parentally don't have children, thats obvious, I'm not saying that you have to have 13 drinks to relax, you don't but just because your a parent don't mean your live as drinking is over! do I think my husband drinks too much? yes, but does that effect how good of a dad he is? no, All I'm saying is I have stayed up till after 4am and I know I will be getting up around 7am with my daughter thats just the sacrifice you make being a parent, but it docent make you a bad one!

Wow...you need to go back to grade school and learn English.

 

[narcotic]

Well... As far as I'm concerned both you and your wife are irresponsible people which should be locked up and have your children taken away from you. Having said that, I do realize that the best realistic solution in this case is that you two get a grip on yourselfs and start acting like you're supposed to.
It is our business since you've just made it such by posting here so I'm going to feel free and say what I think. I don't mean it as a personal insult but obviously (both) your parents didn't do such a terrific job educating you. You should learn from that and be better for your kids.
Though I would like to, I won't go into more depth since I seriously doubt you have the capability of understanding it, but the bottom line is: start acting responsibly!

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
I have to say as a relatively single guy, drinking to drunkenness every Friday and Saturday would make me feel like a drunk. Doing it as a parent would make me feel negligent and irresponsible.

:thumbsup: