<Part I of III>
In my opinion the reason there are as many atheists as there are in our so called Christian nation is the sane reason I became one. Christianity makes you feel like a piece of shit because it is too hard.
What you describe is not Christianity, though. What you describe is every, single religion on the face of the earth when Christianity is solely about one thing and one thing only: a relationship with Jesus Christ.
In so many words, you are (accurately) saying that following a list of dos's and don't's in order to please some cosmic force achieve some form of nirvana or blissful utopia is too hard. I agree with you, and that's why I don't follow any religion. I could never measure up.
According to the bible, the Father in heaven of every human is holy and perfectly righteous. That is to say, He is 100% set apart from all sin and cannot even have sin in His presence Adam and Eve spiritually died the moment they committed the first sin, and like a disease or an infection, sin spread to all their descendants, and we all have broken His laws.
This is why separation from Him is literally "death" in the spiritual sense. After this life, hell is the only place where people infected by their own, unaddressed sins can continue to be separate from Him for eternity, because even ONE sin (a conscience choice to defy their Creator's will in word, deed, or extensive thought) keeps them from their Father's presence.
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James 2:10
"For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it."
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One might ask, then what about the ten commandments and all those rules in the bible? Aren't you supposed to follow them to get right with God according to Christianity? A pastor I heard illustrated it this way... if you were to go into a restroom, the mirror you approach is like the commandments of God. If you were honest as you looked at your reflection, you would have to admit you are completely filthy because of your sins.
The "law", as it is called in the bible, cannot save you. It can only condemn you. The mirror bleakly tells you that you have no hope because of the sinner that you already are because the only response from God towards sin (expressed in Genesis 2:15-17) is death, or separation from the Lord.
Have you ever told a lie? Then you are a liar. Have you ever taken anything you knew was not yours? Then you're a thief. Have you ever lusted over someone not your spouse? Then you're a fornicator/adulterer. It's all as black and white as you can get, and no amount of good deeds can remove the stain of even one sin in God's eyes.
Religion is defined as the lifelong pursuit of following the law, but with Christianity, it is a hopeless cause to do so. The apostle Paul labels this attempt to please God by following (in this example) the ten commandments that were "letters" written in stone and being a good person in order to get to heaven the "ministry of death" and "condemnation":
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2 Corinthians 3:7-9:
"But if the ministry of death, in letters having been engraved on stones, came with glory, so that the sons of Israel could not look intently at the face of Moses because of the glory of his face, which was being brought to an end, how will the ministry of the Spirit not be even more in glory? For if the ministry of condemnation has glory, much more does the ministry of righteousness abound in glory."
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That is why the first greatest event in human history is when Jesus chose to die on the cross for your sins and mine to keep us out of hell as punishment for defying God with our sins. The price is paid, so no one has to work oh-so-very-hard at being "good" to please the Father in order to one day be back in His presence. The second greatest event is the resurrection of Jesus, who conquered death so that heaven could open up for anyone who is with Him.
This shows how the pastor's follow up analogy in the restroom makes sense. If the law in the bible is a mirror that only condemns you, then hope is not lost because you can turn on the faucet and become clean again with the water that pours out. The bible shares this second point in many ways, including this passage encouraging husbands to love their wives like Jesus loves the church, in part, for this reason:
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Ephesians 5:26
"...that <the Lord> might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word"
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The living water is one of many nicknames for Jesus, and the gospel of His sacrifice and glory on our behalf as explained in the word of God is what washes away all of our sins.
<Part II of III>
Jesus was probably my first idol, someone for whom I had profound respect and could partially sympathize with. He was just so much better than most people, unselfishly fearless in the face of death.
Ultimately, Jesus didn't come to be a role model. If that were the case, we could simply copy his works of righteousness (being a good person) and make it into eternal life. As I explained in the bible references above, that's simply not possible. Mimicking Jesus' actions by focusing on one's works is just another fruitless religion like all the others that do not mention Jesus at all. Consider this powerful verse:
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Matthew 6:33
"Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
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To me, this scripture is the ultimate equation that solves the mystery of what everyone wants deep down in the end...
Do this + Do That = Receive Every Good Thing Life Has to Offer
Simply put, "all these things will be added to you" represents what exactly? Money, for example? One doesn't ultimately want money, for example, but wants what money can buy. It's a means to an end. Does it buy happiness? Sure, but happiness comes and goes with the associated emotions. The bible expresses that in a life fulfilled by the Lord, you can have joy", which transcends circumstances and material items; it can exist in your heart through good times and bad because it is based on a real relationship with God.
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Nehemiah 8:10b
"..the joy of the Lord is your strength."
John 16:22 <
Jesus says this the night before He is crucified>
"So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you."
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Continuing on, do people want good relationships with others? Sure, but the love and peace offered to those saved from their sins that is described by the scriptures is deeper than any general definition of these terms. The list of "all these things" goes on and on. The key point being made here is how does the world, either through religion or atheistic humanism, obtain "these things"? By being a good person, of course.
Even fake Christianity in its many, many forms pursues this, but the equation expressed in Matthew 6:33 does not simply say, "Seek His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you". You cannot simply copy Jesus and expect all to be well because your sin (and mine) separates us from God as explained above. No, a person has to follow the order of operations for the equation to work (according to the bible), and it clearly says: "Seek
first the kingdom of God...".
What is the kingdom of God? Heaven, of course. You have to get saved
first before you can expect to then seek to do Jesus righteousness, an only then can all these things be added to you (including eternal life!). Not just any righteousness from any source, BTW. It clearly says to seek
His righteousness, speaking of the Christ. This is just another reason why all religions (including fake "Christian" religions based on works) are in conflict with the bible.
Jesus is not an idol, a buddy, or an inspirational figure. He never put Himself out there to fill any of these roles. He offers to be your Lord and Savior, period. It's up to you to accept Him on His terms (as expressed in the bible) or not.
<Part III of III>
...He died so I could be saved, forgiven, all I had to do was be like him and turn the other cheek.
Seriously, turn the other cheek? Are you kidding me? Sorry, I can’t walk that path and none of the Christians I saw in those days could either.
And owing to the merciless honesty by which I appraised if I was honestly able to forgive, and seeing I could not, I think I killed my faith just to free myself from insufferable guilt, and openly rebelled against a faith that had so guilt tripped me.
I can’t turn the other cheek. I am not going to allow some asshole to crucify me if I can help it I have too much experience not to know What happens to somebody who turns the other cheek in this world of consciousness savages.
Are there people who can. I believe there are but not many.
The problem, of course, is that the reason we can’t forgive but need to is that the hatred of others that is destroying our world all comes from having been taught to hate ourselves.
All the religions of the world designed to heal our pain are turned against us by vengeful con artists who hope to transfer their own misery over to the rest of us.
Do not be an atheist or a believer. Seek to restore the capacity for love and joy that is our birth right, our original being, our potential, the image we created God in as that is how the universe created us to be.
And be kind to yourself as best you can.
Part I of this write up to you above puts your comments here in context with the scriptures in part since it points out that you, as an unsaved person, are not expected to live out the Christian life to please God and make it into heaven. Your good deeds, like forgiveness of others, can't undo all of the bad deeds you committed, and those sins on your life's account are what separates you from God the Father forever.
However, what about the genuine Christian? Think about it this way... the term "Christian" means Christ-like. So a person who is saved is obviously being molded into just that, to become like Jesus. According to the bible, that transformation, which begins the moment they accept His offer of forgiveness for their sins, is not complete until they go to be with the Lord after this life. At that point, they have bee "glorified", and all temptations of sin is forever removed from their presence for eternity.
Down here on earth, all true Christians are not yet glorified. Instead, they are being "sanctified" daily which means they are becoming like Jesus in their hearts. Yes, they may still sin and struggle with all types of things like anyone else, but the difference from the unsaved is that A} no sin "sticks" to their account for judgment, and B} the Holy Spirit works in their hearts to help them grow to be more and more Christ-like. Ask away for biblical examples for these comments.
What I really wanted to point out from the word of God about being Christ-like is this verse which is a simple and straight forward of what it means to be a Christian as any other passage. It gives us a birds-eye view of who Jesus is (besides revealing that He is also the fullness of the word of God), and naturally points to what each Christian should be as well:
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John 1:14
"And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth."
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Jesus is full of grace and truth. Not just grace, which includes bestowing blessings and mercy and love over others. Not just truth, which includes following the commandments of right and wrong, embracing good and rejecting evil in every word, thought and deed. He exercises grace and truth, and the verse states that He is
full of them both (not simply 50/50!). Every Christian through the process of sanctification is to pursue becoming like their Savior in grace and truth.
How does that happen? You correctly point out that you cannot forgive people in the manner that God expects, according to the bible. Guess what? Neither can I nor any other Christian that has ever lived if we try to do so on our own internal strength. A saved person instead is expected to allow the Holy Spirit to perform great works like these through us. We become equipped to be filled with grace and truth (after becoming saved) by reading the bible, praying to God, and going to church, etc. It is no shock to you to hear these activities are promoted thoroughly in the bible (ask for scriptures if you want proof).
So in many ways, I am like you in that I cannot imagine forgiving someone if they did evil things to me or my loved ones. However, God promises to prepare us and equip us for anything we may face in life if we simply allow Him to do so:
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2 Timothy 3:16-17
"All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete,
equipped for every good work."
Philippians 4:13
"I can do
all things through Christ who strengthens me."
1 Corinthians 10:13b
"...
but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."
Romans 8:37
"...in all these things we are
more than conquerors through Him who loved us."
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Do you see? According to the bible, it is the Lord who prepares a willing person for what they may face in this life. You would not have to face anything alone. There are significant episodes in my own life, say, over the past ten years alone, that I would have never seen myself get through without Jesus in my life. Not just the circumstances around me, but what He has been able to do inside of me. I am not the same person (family and friends would agree), and I mean that in a good way.
Last comment here on the topic of forgiveness. You stated this in the last section from your post that I quoted
I can’t turn the other cheek. I am not going to allow some asshole to crucify me if I can help it I have too much experience not to know What happens to somebody who turns the other cheek in this world of consciousness savages.
Are there people who can. I believe there are but not many.
Yes, there are people who can forgive the wickedness of other people. Christians who serve the Lord with their hearts because Jesus once commanded His followers:
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Matthew 5:43-44
"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"
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The bible has plenty of examples of forgiving enemies besides Jesus Himself (including Stephen, Joseph, Moses, Paul, etc.), but since you asked, please take a look at this modern example in the video below.
A white, female officer named Amber Guyger was on trial for bursting into an apartment before shooting and killing a Christian black man named Botham Jean. She received a guilty verdict for murder, and Botham's younger brother was allowed to take the stand to speak on his brother's behalf during the sentencing phase.
<Brief video clip>
Despite all the social elements that are common today in building up rage from various sides after an incident like this (racial tension, police aggressiveness, the use of guns, etc.), it is the love of Jesus in an individual like this that rises far above the fray in ways that defy comprehension.