Is it just me or are weddings starting to get out of control?

[DrPizza]

My friends and family said they had a great time and was one of the best weddings they have ever been to. I think it was because I paid for an open bar the whole night.

If I were at your wedding, it would have been because I say that to the bride and groom to make them feel better about spending a fortune on the party, even when you're stuck at the venue for an uneventful and boring hour and a half while the wedding party is getting pictures done, then you're stuck at the table for another hour while dinners are being served, etc. When you're in the wedding party, I don't think you realize how much time the guests are sitting there, not really giving a shit - oh look, a 5 minute introduction to the wedding party. Oh, now the bride-groom dance. Oh, the father-daughter dance, we all have to smile and applaud. *Yawn.*

It's social etiquette to say, "wow, I had a great time! This is one of the best weddings I've been to!"

 

[CptObvious]

I went to a few weddings when I lived in Seoul and found them hilariously practical. For one thing, they can be very short - I got lost once trying to find the place and arrived about 15 minutes late, and it was already over and they were taking pictures. The wedding halls people rent can be pretty lavish but they only reserve them for 1-2 hours max. Once you start eating there's a rush to get out so the next couple can get in.

My favorite wedding over there was one where they had the reception as the same time as the ceremony, so there were a bunch of people who didn't even watch - they just signed in, dropped off their money, ate, and left. Everyone gives money for wedding gifts, another thing I completely agree with. The couple and their family end up making money from the wedding, which is the way it should be for two young people starting out.

 

[Leyawiin]

Best wedding I ever went to was held in the backyard of a friend's parents home in the hills near San Juan Bautista, California. It was the second wedding for both, so they didn't want to spend a pot load of money. Everyone dressed "nice", but not overboard (they told the guests to dress like they were going to a casual party). Beautiful day in a pretty location/home - no stress from all the unnecessary coordination and expense. After it was over the friend said they paid maybe a couple grand for everything (and they're still married ten years later). Smart.

 

[brainhulk]

If I were at your wedding, it would have been because I say that to the bride and groom to make them feel better about spending a fortune on the party, even when you're stuck at the venue for an uneventful and boring hour and a half while the wedding party is getting pictures done, then you're stuck at the table for another hour while dinners are being served, etc. When you're in the wedding party, I don't think you realize how much time the guests are sitting there, not really giving a shit - oh look, a 5 minute introduction to the wedding party. Oh, now the bride-groom dance. Oh, the father-daughter dance, we all have to smile and applaud. *Yawn.*

It's social etiquette to say, "wow, I had a great time! This is one of the best weddings I've been to!"

I don't recall having any guests that consider fucking goats in their spare time as fun. So no, Dr. Pizza, they did not share the same sentiments as you. :biggrin:

 

[DrPizza]

I don't recall having any guests that consider fucking goats in their spare time as fun. So no, Dr. Pizza, they did not share the same sentiments as you. :biggrin:

I'm not sure why you're trying to be an asshole about it. I'm merely pointing out that when leaving, people generally say, "thanks, we had a great time. Your reception was wonderful." They don't say, "your reception sucked." It's sort of the same social convention where people say, "ohhhhh, what a beautiful baby!" regardless of what the baby looks like. No one tells a new mother that, "your baby is ugly." Sorry to have burst your little bubble.

Not to mention, open bar - "this is the best party ever" is a fairly frequent anthem of drunk people.

 

[Ruptga]

Pizza is right. Brainhulk is a special snowflake, just not the kind he thinks he is.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

I am fairly sure it was you that was called poor by our resident "baller with a house in foreclosure" because you didn't spent a ton on your wedding. $20k on a wedding is just stupid IMO.

He might have -- he mad and jelly, bro.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Spent $1k on my wedding, spent the rest on a house deposit.

I would never have it half way across the country (or planet) either. That's just a total dick move. F*ck those people.

 

[Imdmn04]

There is nothing wrong spending a little bit of money on a wedding as long as your financial situation allows you to. A wedding is an experience, money buys you a little bit better experience with all other things being equal.

Having said that, if it is between a house down payment or a wedding, then no, you are not in a good financial position to throw big money into a wedding.

Life is about choices, depending on your financial position, you just have to make more or less choices.

 

[brainhulk]

I'm not sure why you're trying to be an asshole about it. I'm merely pointing out that when leaving, people generally say, "thanks, we had a great time. Your reception was wonderful." They don't say, "your reception sucked." It's sort of the same social convention where people say, "ohhhhh, what a beautiful baby!" regardless of what the baby looks like. No one tells a new mother that, "your baby is ugly." Sorry to have burst your little bubble.

Not to mention, open bar - "this is the best party ever" is a fairly frequent anthem of drunk people.

Listen up Old Mcdonald, I'm only going to say this one more time. What part of "Solitary introvert goat herders do not fit my family and friends demographic" do you not understand? Of course you don't like having fun around people, drinking alcohol and socializing. I do not expect you or many basement dwellers here to either. That doesn't mean my friends or family must fit your lifestyle or desires. That's very ignorant of you to expect also.

Do I have to spell everything out here? WTF?

 

[NetWareHead]

You know what's crazy? American weddings and the choice of chicken, fish, or steak. Hardly fills me up. Big event and I get 1 thing to eat? Come on now. Throw the cocktail hour food in with it and let's really eat!

Feel the same way. I always leave American weddings slightly hungry at the end of the reception. You need to make friends with some Italians and get invited to their weddings if you want to see a proper feast. And Thanksgivings, Easter and Christmas too while you are at it.

 

[DrPizza]

Listen up Old Mcdonald, I'm only going to say this one more time. What part of "Solitary introvert goat herders do not fit my family and friends demographic" do you not understand? Of course you don't like having fun around people, drinking alcohol and socializing. I do not expect you or many basement dwellers here to either. That doesn't mean my friends or family must fit your lifestyle or desires. That's very ignorant of you to expect also.

Do I have to spell everything out here? WTF?

Look. I've been to more weddings than I can count. I've been to weddings at exclusive country clubs. I've been to weddings with a reception at a VFW type of place. I've been to receptions at volunteer fire department fire halls. Every bride and groom think they're special snowflakes who threw the most fun wedding ever. And no guests would ever tell them otherwise. It's a simple social norm.

However, I will agree on one point - a good DJ is important to keep things lively. A good DJ is the type who can get the grandmas out on the dance floor and teach them the electric slide, casper slide, gangnam style, or whatever the hell once-popular song that most people know the dance to.

A poster above posted that more money buys a better experience - this is only true to a point. A $5k wedding dress doesn't make the day any more fun than a $1k wedding dress, etc.

one last edit: I'd bet there was far more of each - having fun, socializing, and drinking (especially the drinking) at the wedding I went to a summer or so ago that was held at a city park (not the playground type of park; more of a place you can reserve for a shitload of people, like an Italian-fest or something.) My main point being that money spent isn't directly proportional to the amount of fun, socializing, and drinking at a wedding.