Is it possible to be happy alone? (no intimate relationship)

[Eli]

Of course it's possible. Whatever floats your boat, so to speak.

For the vast majority of the population, it isn't going to work too well in the long run though.

 

[Soybomb]

For how long, I've been that way for well over a year now, but I don't think I would be happy living my entire life like that.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: tallest1
Definitely and I'm single. As immature as this sounds, you can do whatcha wanna, when you wanna. You save yourself a ton of money, you have less drama, you don't have to compromise on Home Theatre vs Minivan. you don't have nasty divorces and breakups. You aren't banned from be-friending the opposite sex. You can't get stabbed in the back emotionally at any moment (cheatting SO, or what have you) The list goes on and on.

You folks who feel that you can't be happy alone are weak minded pansies. I mean, most of you have lived alone for the majority of your life but then when your SO of 1 or 2 years breaks up with you, you feel that the world is going to end. (and then post about it on ATOT) If you say 'Thats not me!!111', you're probably a pu$$y-whipped shell of a man who worships the feet women walk on - convincing yourself that they can do no harm. See CrazyPerson's threads for an example.

Why do all your statements above revolve around flawed relationships?

 

[Alchemist99]

I think being single is great! been in many a relationship and they don't work out in the long run.
I like being able to do what i want when i want guilt free. I have friends and I know if i want a relationship i would have have no problem in getting one, but i don't want children. so no need to get married. Being a man makes it easier
for so many reasons.

Bottom line different strokes for different folks and way too many people are in miserable relationships for the wrong reasons. loneliness is one emotion easily overcome through friendships etc ,but being trapped in a relationship that isn't working is much more difficult, imo

 

[Storm]

I think you can, it depends on the person though...

Its most definitely not the same kind of happiness as if you were in a good relationship with someone.

 

[tallest1]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: tallest1
Definitely and I'm single. As immature as this sounds, you can do whatcha wanna, when you wanna. You save yourself a ton of money, you have less drama, you don't have to compromise on Home Theatre vs Minivan. you don't have nasty divorces and breakups. You aren't banned from be-friending the opposite sex. You can't get stabbed in the back emotionally at any moment (cheatting SO, or what have you) The list goes on and on.

You folks who feel that you can't be happy alone are weak minded pansies. I mean, most of you have lived alone for the majority of your life but then when your SO of 1 or 2 years breaks up with you, you feel that the world is going to end. (and then post about it on ATOT) If you say 'Thats not me!!111', you're probably a pu$$y-whipped shell of a man who worships the feet women walk on - convincing yourself that they can do no harm. See CrazyPerson's threads for an example.

Why do all your statements above revolve around flawed relationships?

Because successful relationships in the US are in the minority now. Sorry to break the news to ya

 

[DainBramaged]

Personally, I would not be very happy if I knew that I would never have a significant other. However, I am not worried about it. Yet.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: tallest1

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: tallest1
Definitely and I'm single. As immature as this sounds, you can do whatcha wanna, when you wanna. You save yourself a ton of money, you have less drama, you don't have to compromise on Home Theatre vs Minivan. you don't have nasty divorces and breakups. You aren't banned from be-friending the opposite sex. You can't get stabbed in the back emotionally at any moment (cheatting SO, or what have you) The list goes on and on.

You folks who feel that you can't be happy alone are weak minded pansies. I mean, most of you have lived alone for the majority of your life but then when your SO of 1 or 2 years breaks up with you, you feel that the world is going to end. (and then post about it on ATOT) If you say 'Thats not me!!111', you're probably a pu$$y-whipped shell of a man who worships the feet women walk on - convincing yourself that they can do no harm. See CrazyPerson's threads for an example.

Why do all your statements above revolve around flawed relationships?

Because successful relationships in the US are in the minority now. Sorry to break the news to ya

You do realize I am 32, been married and remarried now and had 5 live ins plus countless in betweens....I think I have relationships and their outcomes down pretty well.

The fact is people get to caught up in changing others, many times your SO is not doing things to hurt you, it's just the way they are.

You get a few choices: acceptance, compromise, or you walk. The other person can choose to: compromise or walk. It's that simple.

For every person that can't put up with a certain trait, there is another that is looking for it.

Maybe this marriage will end in divorce, who knows..we get along now (both posting and sending out emails at 2am )....but if that time comes I will deal with it, it's just another day...I'd be upset, but their is nothing for me to do but move on....same way if I choose I don't like the way things are going (most of my relationships I ended, I have been dumped though as well, and some just somehow turned in to friendships and the sex was spent with others).

Å

 

[dirtboy]

Originally posted by: fyleow
Do you think it's possible to be truly happy (or at least as happy as someone in a relationship) as a single person? Why/why not?

I've always been happier alone. Sure, there are short periods within relationships that I have been happier being with someone, but it is something they can never sustain. It could be that most of them weren't happy with themselves. Either way, I'm better alone. If I ever meet someone that can make me better than I am now, I'll marry her.

 

[TallBill]

maybe.. but I cant be. Hell, right now i'm picking between two awesome girls and i'm still not happy.

 

[dirtboy]

Originally posted by: alkemyst
The fact is people get to caught up in changing others, many times your SO is not doing things to hurt you, it's just the way they are.

Amen.

I told my last gf over and over that this is who I am and this is my life. I told her if she didn't like it she needed to go find someone who was in line with the type of man she did want.

She never listened and I eventually sent her on her own way.

 

[StormRider]

I believe you can live a happy and fulfilling life alone but everybody would be happier if they were in a relationship.

Originally posted by: fyleow
Do you think it's possible to be truly happy (or at least as happy as someone in a relationship) as a single person? Why/why not?

I personally don't think it's possible. Just being in a relationship gives a huge self esteem boost, a better sense of stability (most of the time), and a different sense of (non sexual) love that can't be provided by regular friends or family.

Yay? Nay?

EDIT: Also do you think that those who say no and are single are merely placing an unfairly high expectation on how a relationship would change their life? If they were to suddenly be in a relationship tomorrow would they be happy or not?

 

[StormRider]

I believe you can live a happy and fulfilling life alone but everybody would be happier if they were in a relationship.

Originally posted by: fyleow
Do you think it's possible to be truly happy (or at least as happy as someone in a relationship) as a single person? Why/why not?

I personally don't think it's possible. Just being in a relationship gives a huge self esteem boost, a better sense of stability (most of the time), and a different sense of (non sexual) love that can't be provided by regular friends or family.

Yay? Nay?

EDIT: Also do you think that those who say no and are single are merely placing an unfairly high expectation on how a relationship would change their life? If they were to suddenly be in a relationship tomorrow would they be happy or not?

 

[StormRider]

I believe you can live a happy and fulfilling life alone but everybody would be happier if they were in a relationship.

Originally posted by: fyleow
Do you think it's possible to be truly happy (or at least as happy as someone in a relationship) as a single person? Why/why not?

I personally don't think it's possible. Just being in a relationship gives a huge self esteem boost, a better sense of stability (most of the time), and a different sense of (non sexual) love that can't be provided by regular friends or family.

Yay? Nay?

EDIT: Also do you think that those who say no and are single are merely placing an unfairly high expectation on how a relationship would change their life? If they were to suddenly be in a relationship tomorrow would they be happy or not?

 

[cheapgoose]

from 16 to now, I've always had someone, the longest I've gone with out a s.o. is probably a month.

I don't know, it's nice to have someone there for you. good friends can comfort you too, but you don't get to fvck afterwards.

 

[kami]

Yes.

Having good friends helps too.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Originally posted by: kami
Yes.

Having good friends helps too.

Agreed.

At this point in my life, being a college graduate and unemployed, I prefer being single. I like knowing I can go work anywhere without worrying about leaving someone behind or asking someone to come with me.

 

"well a lesbian or gay person would still want companionship, twit."

All right, smart-a$$, since you missed it, I'll write it in full: closet lesbian.

You are a very interesting guy! I observe in just about every relationship related post you make, you give details about your personal life. Uhmm . . . I know I wouldn't appreciate that if my significant other were doing so on a public forum. The most puzzling part to me is, Why exactly do you always try to qualify yourself as the authority to reckon with because you have had previous relationships and are in one now? I mean, it sounds to me as though you're not too happy or confident in what you have but try by all means to justify it. Is there some guilt trip going on here? I can't understand someone who so defends romantic relationships as a necessity, yet seeming so indifferent about the one he's already in. Uhmmm. . . . Besides, how did you survive before you ever got involved a relationship the first time? The Self comes first, as far as I'm concerned. If you haven't found the Self, then it's hard to ever enjoy the full potential of a romantic relationship . . . except if you're in it just for sex.

Anyway, whatever rocks your boat.

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: luvly
"well a lesbian or gay person would still want companionship, twit."

All right, smart-a$$, since you missed it, I'll write it in full: closet lesbian.

You are a very interesting guy! I observe in just about every relationship related post you make, you give details about your personal life. Uhmm . . . I know I wouldn't appreciate that if my significant other were doing so on a public forum. The most puzzling part to me is, Why exactly do you always try to qualify yourself as the authority to reckon with because you have had previous relationships and are in one now? I mean, it sounds to me as though you're not too happy or confident in what you have but try by all means to justify it. Is there some guilt trip going on here? I can't understand someone who so defends romantic relationships as a necessity, yet seeming so indifferent about the one he's already in. Uhmmm. . . . Besides, how did you survive before you ever got involved a relationship the first time? The Self comes first, as far as I'm concerned. If you haven't found the Self, then it's hard to ever enjoy the full potential of a romantic relationship . . . except if you're in it just for sex.

Anyway, whatever rocks your boat.

I like I said, the point is being alone or not...has no difference if it's a hetero relationship, homosexual, poly, animal, etc....it was being alone.

I have no problem with lesbians, but I am not the kind of guy that goes around harping on 'let's have a threesome'...for 1) a lesbian is not the tool of choice (bisexual would be at the max) and 2) I have been offered it and even tried it once although emotions came out during the 'opening acts' so it ended up being stupid.

I didn't need you to admit any thing....just that I replied to your comment how you think every guy that gets rejected blames it on lesbianism.

I took 3 years off once to be totally single. I did have two one night stands (with friends) during that time, but just never really got involved with anyone...this was after my first marriage.

I defend things that people are making excuses for and not answering honestly. I did a lot of peer counseling and have learned people usually say the opposite of how they feel as a validation. I love my wife, I would do whatever it took to make us both happy. However, I am not going to make myself a martyr for her, that is where people go wrong and become afraid of being up alone and rejected. Things start going wrong, I will bring them up, hopefully I will be mistaken and it gets worked out...however if I am right, we address it and move on, whether together or apart. It's simple to me, but perhaps because I am so comfortable with who I am.

I know my Self, I am comfortable in knowing I will not always win, get picked, chosen. I know my jokes will not always be funny, my actions perceived the way I like, etc.

However, I think sex is important...when you think about it that is the basis for relationships....that is the attraction, whether it's to a same sexed or different sexed partner, it makes no difference. You can have friends but with out that extra something things are missing...intimacy is sort of important. Can one go a few years without it? sure....a lifetime? I really doubt it.