Is their wedding - let them do it the way they want

[Exterous]

I don't understand why so many people have to stick their noses into the planning process of someone else's wedding. BIL is getting married and SIL is apparently bent out of shape that her 8 year old son isn't going to be the ring bearer. Keeps sending him texts along the lines of "I don't want to make it an issue but I just don't know why you don't want your nephew to be the ring bearer. Its your wedding and you can do what you want but if you could let me know the reason why you don't want him in the wedding I would appreciate it so I can help him deal with his disappointment. He's your only nephew so I can't understand this on my own."

First thats some passive aggressive bullshit right there. Second, BIL never said the nephew would be in the wedding. The SIL started asking them who the ring bearer was going to be less than 12 hours after the engagement announcement and didn't like the answer "We're not going to have a ring bearer or flower girl." (The nephew is terribly behaved so there is a decent chance the nephew won't do what he is supposed to on that day anyway) Lastly, and most importantly, its not your goddamn wedding. If they want the nephew to be in it, they'll ask. If they don't ask don't try to make them do something they aren't interested in doing for their ceremony.

 

[Ns1]

My dog was my ring bearer. Maybe your BiL can get a dog if he wants the easy escape.

 

[sdifox]

My dog was my ring bearer. Maybe your BiL can get a dog if he wants the easy escape.

Did you have to wait for the ring to pass? :awe:

 

[lxskllr]

My dog was my ring bearer. Maybe your BiL can get a dog if he wants the easy escape.

I'd go for a parrot. He could fly in dramatically at the proper time to deliver the ring. Use a crow or raven if it's a goth wedding.

 

[Darwin333]

I'd go for a parrot. He could fly in dramatically at the proper time to deliver the ring. Use a crow or raven if it's a goth wedding.

Parrot would probably interrupt during your vows though, potentially very embarrassingly.

 

[louis redfoot]

another reason to just elope and then throw a few parties after!

 

[gorcorps]

I'm planning a wedding right now. So far nothing too obnoxious like the OP, but we're not really planning on having ushers and I can tell the MIL doesn't like that idea. Being an usher isn't an honor, and they aren't necessary. Sit where you want dammit

 

[BoomerD]

Just fucking elope...save money...live happily ever after.

 

[tynopik]

Just fucking elope...save money...live happily ever after.

because research says that having a big wedding with lots of guests increases your odds of having a happily ever after

 

[sdifox]

because research says that having a big wedding with lots of guests increases your odds of having a happily ever after

So those who did big wedding got divorced right?

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

You think weddings being out the crazies? Try relatives arguing about who gets what after a funeral.

 

[pcgeek11]

because research says that having a big wedding with lots of guests increases your odds of having a happily ever after

Bologna.

 

[zerocool84]

because research says that having a big wedding with lots of guests increases your odds of having a happily ever after

https://youtu.be/O5BeLinyfpg

 

[tynopik]

Bologna.

Want a happy marriage? Have a big, cheap wedding

Planning a wedding? In addition to slashing costs, you might want to invite those extra co-workers and far-flung cousins, too. The Emory study also found that the greater the number of people who attend a wedding, the lower the rate of divorce.
"This could be evidence of a community effect, i.e., having more support from friends and family may help the couple to get through the challenges of marriage," Francis said. "Or this could be that the type of couples who have a lot of friends and family are also the type that tend not to divorce as much."

Bigger wedding, happier marriage?

Not only are formal weddings correlated with greater conjugal happiness, but having a bigger wedding, as measured by number of guests, was also associated with higher marital quality:

 

[MrSquished]

I always wanted a small wedding. And now at 41 if I get married for the first time I'll be 43 at the least. I think small is good. No ring bearers or flower girls.

Whether it's possible is another story altogether. We shall see.

 

[bigboxes]

My wife wanted the big wedding. I did not. We got married at the courthouse while on leave from the Navy. Borrowed a suit from my best friend. I told her, "It's not how you get married. it's who you get married." She hates that. 23 years later...

 

[pcgeek11]

Want a happy marriage? Have a big, cheap wedding




Bigger wedding, happier marriage?

Study was probably promoted by the wedding industry. This is what you need for a happy long marriage.

1. Two people that love one another.
2. A Justice of the peace.
3. A marriage License.
4. A couple of witnesses.
5. A few bucks to pay for it all ( less than 100 Dollars ).

I've been happily married for 35 years. Anything else is just throwing money away.

 

[tynopik]

Study was probably promoted by the wedding industry.

Want a happy marriage? Have a big, cheap wedding

A new study found that couples who spend less on their wedding tend to have longer-lasting marriages than those who splurge

yes, clearly a plant from Big Wedding

I've been happily married for 35 years.

congrats on your success

but just because you successfully beat the odds doesn't mean others should follow your example

 

[louis redfoot]

I always wanted a small wedding. And now at 41 if I get married for the first time I'll be 43 at the least. I think small is good. No ring bearers or flower girls.

Whether it's possible is another story altogether. We shall see.

"no big wedding today, but in 10 years if we're still together..."

 

[pcgeek11]

Want a happy marriage? Have a big, cheap wedding



yes, clearly a plant from Big Wedding

My comment was in relation to this statement from your post:

" Not only are formal weddings correlated with greater conjugal happiness, but having a bigger wedding, as measured by number of guests, was also associated with higher marital quality:"

You know that the # of guest at a wedding is directly proportional to the cost of a "formal wedding".

 

[tynopik]

You know that the # of guest at a wedding is directly proportional to the cost of a "formal wedding".

1. not necessarily
2. they mean 'formal' in the sense of having a ceremony at all and not simply walking into the county clerk's office.

 

[Exterous]

You think weddings being out the crazies? Try relatives arguing about who gets what after a funeral.

Unfortunately we've been through that on both sides as well.

 

[Eug]

another reason not to get married but throw a few parties instead!

Fixed that for you.

 

[tynopik]

You think weddings being out the crazies? Try relatives arguing about who gets what after a funeral.

Unfortunately we've been through that on both sides as well.

You've died and had people arguing over your stuff?

 

[dullard]

From the best that I can tell, it is because they couldn't have the wedding that they wanted due to too many other people demanding things from them. Thus, the only way to get the wedding that they wanted is to insist that others conform their weddings to their demands. Rinse and repeat.



I had a small wedding (a dozen people total and that included the hired musicians). Then threw several large parties in the weeks/months down the road for the different types of guests that we wanted to celebrate with. This was in large part because my in-laws are so demanding that we decided from the start to have an un-wedding.