ITT we discuss how to invade Canada

schneiderguy

Lifer
Jun 26, 2006
10,769
52
91
In the near future 'Murika will require all of Canada's resources to continue to be the best country in the world. However we shouldn't have to pay for them. So we will invade Canada.



I say we start by nuking every city on the map, besides the ones that are close to the 'Murikan border. This leaves Victoria, Vancouver, Thunder Bay, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, and Quebec as possible enemy strongholds.

Victoria, Vancouver, Thunder Bay, and Toronto are all situated on the water, so an amphibious invasion by the Marines will be sufficient to capture these cities, after we carpet bomb them. In the case of cities like Ottawa and Montreal that aren't close to a large body of water, we should drop airborne troops behind them, while simultaneously pushing a few armored divisions north from the border. Once the city is surrounded they should surrender, and if they don't we can starve them out.

Once the main cities are held by 'Murikan forces (should take less than 72 hours) we can concentrate on securing the natural resources and quelling the resistance.



This is a map of the highways in Canada. These need to be secured so we can transport resources back to 'Murika. Using unmanned drones we can monitor them for any insurgent attacks that attempt to take them out.

Any suggestions on dealing with insurgents that go into the forest and hide? I fear they might start using mounted moose attacks :hmm:
 

Dirigible

Diamond Member
Apr 26, 2006
5,961
30
91
You're over thinking it.


I'm going into Canada on August 21. I was just going to mountain bike Whistler and nearby but if I put a little effort in I'd have Canada conquered by the 23rd.

Here's how it's done:
I walk up to a Canadian and say, "I'm in charge of this country now, eh?"

Two days later the word will have spread to the whole country and I'm boss. Easy peasy.
 

Dirigible

Diamond Member
Apr 26, 2006
5,961
30
91
Insurgents: just say, " Come out, you insurgents, and get your comeuppance! Then you can have Timbits."

Bob's your uncle, they're out in a jiffy.
 

IronWing

No Lifer
Jul 20, 2001
69,559
27,864
136
We sneak in the night before the invasion and change all their road signs from kilometers to miles. When they all run out of gas, we pounce.

We need to take out the hockey stick factory early if we are to avoid American casualties.
 

Dirigible

Diamond Member
Apr 26, 2006
5,961
30
91
Fuck! I forgot about those damn hockey sticks! This'll be more complicated than I thought.
 

Red Squirrel

No Lifer
May 24, 2003
67,938
12,384
126
www.anyf.ca
Here's the problem, it will end up in a snow ball fight, followed by a street hockey game that will break out randomly, we'll win, and you guys will go back home with nothing but a Tim Horton's coffee.
 

Iron Woode

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 10, 1999
30,938
12,440
136
they forgot our first line of defense is the Moose.

this will not end well for our enemies.
 

Bateluer

Lifer
Jun 23, 2001
27,730
8
0
A full invasion of Canada by the US would be over in less than a day. No nukes required or needed.

And they, shall we say, lack the religious convictions and independent attitude necessary to put a fight or resistance. Its a modern nanny state.
 

tommo123

Platinum Member
Sep 25, 2005
2,617
48
91
joking aside, the US wouldn't fight a country that can fight back / have nukes.

a few dirty bombs over heavily populated areas and the farmlands would ruin the economy
 

Slew Foot

Lifer
Sep 22, 2005
12,381
96
86
Melt the hockey rinks, the Frenchies will surrender within a few minutes, and the rest will be too sad to do fight back.
 

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,129
1,604
126
You're going to nuke Whitehorse and Dawson?

Dawson has a population of like 1200, Whitehorse is under 23,000. I'm thinking it would make more sense to send Sarah Palin in on a moose. She might be able to contribute something after all!
 

yllus

Elite Member & Lifer
Aug 20, 2000
20,577
432
126
A full invasion of Canada by the US would be over in less than a day. No nukes required or needed.

And they, shall we say, lack the religious convictions and independent attitude necessary to put a fight or resistance. Its a modern nanny state.

Our universal health care has certainly paved the way to making us sassy and plump. If only we had the superior (by virtue of its inferiority) American system in place so we too could be randomly uninsured or at the mercy of our employers for decent coverage. That'd really toughen us up!

You're going to nuke Whitehorse and Dawson?

Dawson has a population of like 1200, Whitehorse is under 23,000. I'm thinking it would make more sense to send Sarah Palin in on a moose. She might be able to contribute something after all!

True. I'd surrender Toronto if it meant not having to listen to her speak.
 
Last edited:

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,145
10
81
Melt the hockey rinks, the Frenchies will surrender within a few minutes, and the rest will be too sad to do fight back.

From my limited experience with Canadians they would be so happy the odds are they would join us on beating the French.

My question is why would we do it though! its good pretending to be Canadian when traveling. people are so much nicer to you.
 
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