I've finally decided on my perfect woman

[Alphathree33]

[*]Knows the lyrics to "American Pie" by Don McLean[/list]
[*]Knows the historical references in "American Pie" by Don McLean[/list]
[*]Stops traffic when wearing a miniskirt[/list]
[*]Wears miniskirts[/list]
[*]Gets turned on when I occasionally refer to her as "woman" as in "look, woman, this is the way it is"[/list]
[*]Has an entire set of giggles, squeals, and squeaks that she literally cannot control[/list]
[*]Gets turned on by Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem[/list]
[*]Has read "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams[/list]
[*]Has not read "Harry Potter" and never wants to[/list]
[*]Locks herself in a room whenever she is PMSing[/list]
[*]Has read "Foundation" by Issac Asimov[/list]
[*]Gets turned on by large Mersenne prime numbers[/list]
[*]Is inexplicably and inexorably drawn to expensive, tiny pink purses[/list]
[*]Has read "Dune" by Frank Herbert[/list]
[*]Likes my attempts to use "bling bling", "hizzle fo shizzle", "homie", and "shiznit" in sentences, as in, "That's some nice bling bling my homie; I'm down with that hizzle fo shizzle. You've got the shiznit goin' on!"[/list]
[*]Is a fiscal conservative yet also a hippie[/list]
[*]Thinks David Suzuki belongs in an insane asylum[/list]
[*]Knows the lyrics to "Because I Got High" by Afroman[/list]
[*]Does not show any signs of aging, ever[/list]
[*]Likes to torture Tim Horton's employes with arithmetic problems as in, "I have a $20 bill and I'd like a large coffee. For my change, I would like as many loonies as possible without exceeding five, and for the rest of the change, I'd like to minimize the total number of bills and coins I get back so long as I get at least two quarters or five dimes."[/list]
[*]Loves to swing dance or wants to learn[/list]
[*]Knows the lyrics to "Without Me" by Eminem and can do the "oooh-oooh" part at the beginning really well[/list]
[*] Uses the word 'synergistic ' in midsentence as a joke, as in, "Would you like fries with that?" -- "Yes, I can see some synergistic potential in that."[/list]
[*]Has read "The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins[/list]
[*]Thinks "but officer I was on the verge of proving the four color map theorem" is a valid excuse for running a red light[/list]

 

[EyeMNathan]

You're going to be a virgin forever.

 

[neutralizer]

Error 404 Woman Not Found.

 

[Lonyo]

Has not read "Harry Potter" and never wants to

You wanna be in my gang?

 

[bobbybe01]

I've finally decided on my perfect woman

Error 404 Woman not found

Translation: Sentence is an oxymoron. The only kind of perfect woman is one who is perfectly imperfect...

 

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: Lonyo

Has not read "Harry Potter" and never wants to

You wanna be in my gang?

you have a gang?

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: neutralizer
Error 404 Woman Not Found.

Good usage of 404. :thumbsup:

 

[neutralizer]

<neo>Whoa</neo>

The OP just pointed out to me that we can put bullets in our posts... lol.

 

[Ophir]

You will die alone.

 

[bobbybe01]

Originally posted by: neutralizer
<neo>Whoa</neo>

The OP just pointed out to me that we can put bullets in our posts... lol.

The bullets in his post symbolizes the number of bullets it will take before he is finally able to kill himself.

However, to give credit to the OP: nice job on the bullets, keep that list. There will always be things that a woman "must" have, "could" have, and "shouldn't" have. But remember, it's important to be realistic.

Cheers.

 

[Eli]

Originally posted by: EyeMNathan
You're going to be a virgin forever.

 

[Ronstang]

Originally posted by: EyeMNathan
You're going to be a virgin forever.

That was my first thought.

 

[notfred]

Heh, not a single thing on your list would make my list of "perfect woman characteristics".

 

[revnja]

Originally posted by: Ronstang

Originally posted by: EyeMNathan
You're going to be a virgin forever.

That was my first thought.

That may or may not be true, but the one thing I do know for sure -- he's going to have to look long and hard for that girl.

Good luck, buddy. You'll need it.

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: notfred
Heh, not a single thing on your list would make my list of "perfect woman characteristics".

I am a fan of miniskirts, but i'd have to agree with you.

 

[DT4K]

Have to give the OP credit.
Though I highly doubt you will ever find your perfect woman, it's got to be the most original list I've seen.
And I do believe you are the first person I've ever seen put bullets in a post. That's pretty cool.

Anybody else think we'll now see bullets in half the threads?

 

[jiwq]

and you know what? you'd still probably cheat on her given the chance

 

[5ayle]

Originally posted by: Eli

Originally posted by: EyeMNathan
You're going to be a virgin forever.

FOREVER... grasp that concept and get real

let me repeat FOREVER

ETERNITY of virginess
INIFINITY of hand love
NEVER will you ever get any

... EVER






































just in case you may have thought there was modicum of chance

YOU, the OP, will undoubtedly be, forever, a virgin, no sex for you.

 

[aplefka]

Dude... may the force be with you and some other good luck shit, you're gonna need it if you're sticking to that.

 

[pyonir]

I don't think he's being realistic. I mean, if i really thought about it and laid out the qualities of my perfect woman, there would be no woman that matched. I doubt his intention was to say he won't settle for anything else.

 

[Conky]

My perfect woman would be my current gf but without vocal cords. :laugh:

:beer:

 

[Maleficus]

Originally posted by: notfred
Heh, not a single thing on your list would make my list of "perfect woman characteristics".

how could: Stops traffic when wearing a miniskirt

not be on any straight mans perfect woman list?

 

[EyeMWing]

Originally posted by: Maleficus

Originally posted by: notfred
Heh, not a single thing on your list would make my list of "perfect woman characteristics".

how could: Stops traffic when wearing a miniskirt

not be on any straight mans perfect woman list?

Because some of us don't like hookers? Some men get off on things other than boobs and legs. Women, are, unfortunately, not that simple.

 

[hysperion]

Sounds like Jessica Alba is the one for you! Get in line....

 

[Confusednewbie1552]

Originally posted by: neutralizer
Error 404 Woman Not Found.