Just answer the door naked. That'll teach 'em.
Sex sells everything. Why haven't the religious organizations realized that?Really nice girl. I'm never rude to them, in fact, I find them one of the least hypocritical religions.
Regardless, we chatted for over an hour and a half. I think I converted her. I scored a ton of points on the discussion about evolution vs. creationism, starting with vestigial limbs in whales. Then, we moved on to the Big Bang & quantum mechanics. It was fun.
90 minutes later, I believe I had her quite convinced that she needs to do a lot more research on her own about evidence for evolution.
Do I get a prize for converting a Jehovah Witness?
I never tell them that I don't believe in a God - I tell them that I don't believe in a personal God. "Why not?" I paraphrase George Carlin's standup routine where he prays to Joe Pesci, but instead use the Greek gods, Roman gods, and all the other gods, and point out that the people praying to them had pretty much the same results. Sometimes they get what they're praying for, sometimes they don't. Pretty much 50/50. Dear God, please let the Bills win this weekend. Dear Zeus, please let the Giants win this weekend. Same results, 50/50.
I usually just go over the whole "Jesus is God" thing and rattle off a half-dozen old & new testament verses to clear it up.
For the evolutionists.....I just keep a giant tub of stuffed platypus dolls at the front door & ask them if they'd like the larger tan one to hang from the rear-view mirror or the pink keychain one.
Really nice girl. I'm never rude to them, in fact, I find them one of the least hypocritical religions.
Regardless, we chatted for over an hour and a half. I think I converted her. I scored a ton of points on the discussion about evolution vs. creationism, starting with vestigial limbs in whales. Then, we moved on to the Big Bang & quantum mechanics. It was fun.
90 minutes later, I believe I had her quite convinced that she needs to do a lot more research on her own about evidence for evolution.
Do I get a prize for converting a Jehovah Witness?
I never tell them that I don't believe in a God - I tell them that I don't believe in a personal God. "Why not?" I paraphrase George Carlin's standup routine where he prays to Joe Pesci, but instead use the Greek gods, Roman gods, and all the other gods, and point out that the people praying to them had pretty much the same results. Sometimes they get what they're praying for, sometimes they don't. Pretty much 50/50. Dear God, please let the Bills win this weekend. Dear Zeus, please let the Giants win this weekend. Same results, 50/50.
Truer than you know.They never go alone. She was just casing the joint...
Easier to tie you up that way....She and her husband had been over a few times, but only spoke to my wife. We knew they were coming back today (which gave me prep time), but I didn't expect her to be alone. Extremely nice couple - people I would have no problem inviting over for dinner.
Really nice girl. I'm never rude to them, in fact, I find them one of the least hypocritical religions.
Regardless, we chatted for over an hour and a half. I think I converted her. I scored a ton of points on the discussion about evolution vs. creationism, starting with vestigial limbs in whales. Then, we moved on to the Big Bang & quantum mechanics. It was fun.
90 minutes later, I believe I had her quite convinced that she needs to do a lot more research on her own about evidence for evolution.
Do I get a prize for converting a Jehovah Witness?
LOL, you must be bored.
a buddy of mine is a good guy but he's turning into a pretty big jesus freak. i haven't hung out with him while his church buddies are around but i've heard from our other friends that they start the whole, "do you know about jesus" thing with everyone. i'm kinda excited to see where that conversation will go when one of them does ask me that.
You're awesome, how can I be more like you?
You're awesome, how can I be more like you?
Dr Pizza.... you shoulda put her in the barn with the rats...
i am not awesome. i am the worst type of person there is.
they never knock on my door.
sometimes racism has its benefits
Didn't you know? It's cool to be a jerk to people who have different religious beliefs. You get bonus super-cool points if you are a jerk and don't believe in religion
i don't push my bullshit on them, they shouldn't push their bullshit on me. we can be friends. if you constantly need to repeat any one topic, regardless of what it might be, it can get slightly annoying.
you sound irritated. you know what makes me feel better, the word of jesus. have you heard the word of jesus christ?
And that's the thing, it's like....who the hell hasn't by this time? It was explained to me thusly, by a Jehovah's Witness no less, that the whole "tell people about Jesus" thing came about back when Christianity would have still qualified as a cult due to its low number of followers. Back then, you don't have Twitter, you don't have a phone network - information was conveyed face-to-face, so the best way to get people hooked on the Jesus Juice was to tell them directly. By now, I'm pretty sure everyone's aware of the Jesus lore, so there's really no need to go bothering people about it.a buddy of mine is a good guy but he's turning into a pretty big jesus freak. i haven't hung out with him while his church buddies are around but i've heard from our other friends that they start the whole, "do you know about jesus" thing with everyone. i'm kinda excited to see where that conversation will go when one of them does ask me that.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster understands your pain.Sex sells everything. Why haven't the religious organizations realized that?