Jehovas Witnesses keep coming around.

[shortylickens]

I made the huge mistake of talking to them.
I said "thanks very much but I'm not interested. Good bye."
Since thats a hundred times nicer than most people are, they have made the mistake of thinking I like them. Now they come around every 3 days or so.

I ignore them when they know on the door. Am afraid of talking to them. For those of you who dont know, I've had some pretty serious anger management issues my whole life. Only just recently (6 months or so) have I finally got on the track to dealing with them. If I go and talk to the Jehovas witnesses I dont think it will be as polite as "please stop coming here". I am afraid it will be more like a righteous ass chewing or worse.

Anyone have ideas as to how to keep Jehovas people from ever coming around again, THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE PERMANENT BODILY HARM?

HOA probably wont let me post any signs. Of course I doubt they fine me for such an infraction. Particularly if the sign were really nice.

 

[quakefiend420]

drawn a pentagram on your front porch and put a dead chicken in the middle of it

 

[shortylickens]

drawn a pentagram on your front porch and put a dead chicken in the middle of it

:hmm:

Just a sec. Lemme go read the HOA agreement.

 

[KGB]

Answer the door naked.

They will get the message.

 

[shortylickens]

Answer the door naked.

They will get the message.

It was four women.

And they looked hungry!

 

[Terzo]

Um, a no soliciting sign/notice? Does your HOA even allow soliciting? If not, take it up with them.

This is assuming that the witnesses count as solicitors. If not...I dunno.

 

[slayer202]

youre scared of opening the door for 4 women because you have anger management issues?

 

[quakefiend420]

Um, a no soliciting sign/notice? Does your HOA even allow soliciting? If not, take it up with them.

This is assuming that the witnesses count as solicitors. If not...I dunno.

YAWN

set up an elaborate contraption to dump pig blood on them

 

[quakefiend420]

carrie style

 

[Bignate603]

Telling them that you'd like them to leave and never come back is out of the question?

 

[El Guaraguao]

tell them you that you already denied the holy spirit. oh wait...

 

[shortylickens]

youre scared of opening the door for 4 women because you have anger management issues?

Last year I was involved in an incident. My lawyer told me not to discuss details, but he did suggest I go see a shrink. I did. And am much happier for it.
BUT, I still gotta be strategic, which means avoiding situations I know in advance make me angry.

 

[biggestmuff]

Treat them like a forum troll. Ignore them.

 

[WelshBloke]

Last year I was involved in an incident. My lawyer told me not to discuss details, but he did suggest I go see a shrink. I did. And am much happier for it.
BUT, I still gotta be strategic, which means avoiding situations I know in advance make me angry.

He didn't mean us so feel free to spill all, I'm sure everyone here will be understanding and supportive ()

 

[shortylickens]

He didn't mean us so feel free to spill all, I'm sure everyone here will be understanding and supportive ()

Forget it. You guys crap on dumb kids for ranting about how their parents wont give them a new car. I doubt you will be forgiving of my adventures in court.

Am trying to avoid another one of those situations so I am looking for any method of losing the Witnesses provided they dont die by my hand. Perhaps the Carrie style blood bath would work. Humiliating, but no physical damage.
Maybe there is a hose and pump system I can buy online and mount to the roof.

OR......
I could get my neighbor John to bitch them out. He has no issues with being an asshole and he's not afraid of the cops.

 

[spaceman]

do the manly thing like me
and hide with lights off

 

[shortylickens]

do the manly thing like me
and hide with lights off

Thats the first discernible post I've ever seen from you.
And I think you are also correct.


Did you change medications?

 

[WelshBloke]

Forget it. You guys crap on dumb kids for ranting about how their parents wont give them a new car. I doubt you will be forgiving of my adventures in court.

Am trying to avoid another one of those situations so I am looking for any method of losing the Witnesses provided they dont die by my hand. Perhaps the Carrie style blood bath would work. Humiliating, but no physical damage.
Maybe there is a hose and pump system I can buy online and mount to the roof.

OR......
I could get my neighbor John to bitch them out. He has no issues with being an asshole and he's not afraid of the cops.

Ok go for answering the door nekked or in a Jellabiya waving a scimitar and yelling Allah Akbar.

 

[Bignate603]

Try this...

1. Listen for knock/doorbell
2. Go to door, look out window by door. Make sure they see you.
3. Do not open door, lock door. Do your best to make it sound very loud.
4. Walk away and ignore them.

Hopefully they'll get the message.

 

[shortylickens]

Try this...

1. Listen for knock/doorbell
2. Go to door, look out window by door. Make sure they see you.
3. Do not open door, lock door. Do your best to make it sound very loud.
4. Walk away and ignore them.

Hopefully they'll get the message.

This is the number one answer. No personal confrontation. They get it.
You sir are the master of peaceful negotiations.

Though I admit the scimitar scenario sound lots of fun too.

 

[amdhunter]

Tell them you are a Muslim.

 

[lepper boy]

I made the huge mistake of talking to them.
I said "thanks very much but I'm not interested. Good bye."
Since thats a hundred times nicer than most people are, they have made the mistake of thinking I like them. Now they come around every 3 days or so.

I ignore them when they know on the door. Am afraid of talking to them. For those of you who dont know, I've had some pretty serious anger management issues my whole life. Only just recently (6 months or so) have I finally got on the track to dealing with them. If I go and talk to the Jehovas witnesses I dont think it will be as polite as "please stop coming here". I am afraid it will be more like a righteous ass chewing or worse.

Anyone have ideas as to how to keep Jehovas people from ever coming around again, THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE PERMANENT BODILY HARM?

HOA probably wont let me post any signs. Of course I doubt they fine me for such an infraction. Particularly if the sign were really nice.

Tell them you don't appreciate the fact that they are taking advantage of your nice-ness and you do not want them coming by anymore. When they try to argue that they "aren't taking advantage of your nice-ness) Say goodbye and shut the door. Worked for me.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Try to convert them to Scientology.

 

[PottedMeat]

Try to convert them to Scientology.

get a bunch of pamphlets and a multimeter ( call it an E-meter ). tell them they can be free of psychiatry if you take a measurement with the meter. red goes in the butt, black goes in the mouth ( be careful though and try not to switch them going person to person ).

 

[Ruptga]

If confrontation is out of the question, I think Bignate's is the best idea you're going to get.