Yo mama's so fat that when she lays down on a beach, people call NOAA to report a beached whale!
Your mother is so obese, the concentration of her mass traversed the Chandrasekhar limit, causing a singularity with the accretion disc emitting highly energetic x-rays, which in turn irradiated everyone on Earth causing the to die horribly from radiation burns, and those that did survive were eventually absorbed as more and more mass passed over her event horizon.
Did I do that right?