Joke. Guaranteed Funny!

nublikescake

Senior member
Jul 23, 2008
890
0
0
A man walked into his supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce.

The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.

The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "some old bastard wants to buy a half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man was standing right behind him,

So he quickly added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later, the Manager said to the boy, " I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier, we like people who can think on their feet here, where are you from son?"

"Jamaica, sir," the boy replied.

"Why did you leave Jamaica?" the manager asked.

The boy said "Sir, there's nothing but whores and football players there."

"Is that right?" replied the manager, "My wife is from Jamaica!"

"Really?" replied the boy, "Who did she play for?"
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
80,287
17,079
136
A proposed council tax-evaluation policy will mean reassessment of current house values which will mean they will charge us more if we live in a nice area.

That ought to mean discounts for those of us who live in rough areas.

There is a huge house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of irritable dogs allowed to run without leads. Her car isn't taxed or insured and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing. To the best of my knowledge, she has never worked.

Her bad-tempered old man is notorious for racist comments. A shopkeeper blamed him for arranging the murder of his son and his son's girlfriend, but nothing has been proved.

All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thought was gay.

Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always out partying in nightclubs. It is not known if they have the same father. They are out of control.

I hate living near Windsor Castle.
 

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,910
2,141
126
I for one find clever funny. Very well done. Everyone else can suck it.
 
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