You come in here and tell parents they have no lives, are boring, no friends, etc.
I can respect someone deciding not to have children, but you don't have to strut about and shit all over those that do.
Seriously...
You come in here and tell parents they have no lives, are boring, no friends, etc.
I can respect someone deciding not to have children, but you don't have to strut about and shit all over those that do.
You come in here and tell parents they have no lives, are boring, no friends, etc.
I can respect someone deciding not to have children, but you don't have to strut about and shit all over those that do.
Well, I made quite an effort to say, multiple times, in my OP that I respect parents, that I'm not insulting them or looking down on them, that I even admire them for doing what they do. And I also included a sentence about how, even so, I knew that some people would get all insulted about it, and yes, that's what happened. So no, I'm not "strutting all about and shitting all over" parents, even though some parents in this thread have called me selfish and immature for not wanting to procreate like they did. Shrug.
I can't help but wonder where all his "cool" friends will be years from now when he truly needs support, like someone to walk him to the bathroom after having surgery, visit him in a nursing home, or hold his hand while he passes away.
I know many women who were career focused that ultimately regret not having kids, every one of them. At the end of their lives they have nothing to show for it.
I took my two kids to the zoo yesterday with my mom. My wife is out of town and my dad just recently died. I could tell my mom loved every minute of it, especially when my 2.5yr old almost blew up with excitement seeing a polar bear just across the glass from him doing backflips in the water. My parents could have traded kids for a much better life, but then would she had seen that?
I'm in my 40s and don't have any children. I do not regret it.
What's more selfish -- having kids because you want someone to take care of you when you're old or realizing you don't want them because you have other goals? I'd say both are equally "selfish." It is funny how the ones with kids always are the first to scream "you're selfish" if you don't want to have kids.
Sorry, the people that have kids are actually selfish themselves. The world doesn't need MORE kids, so please quit trying to pretend you are a saint for having them. Every reason for having your own kids are for selfish reasons. You want YOUR own kid, that looks like you, that comes from you, etc.
The only people I'd call NOT selfish are the people that ADOPT kids. So again, quit playing like you are a saint. More often than not, people are parents because they fucked up and got someone pregnant and now have to pretend they're happy and accept their crappy situation.
I have NEVER been envious of people with kids. I actually think of it are as horrible situation to be in. On the other hand, I know people with kids that look at me and my life with wish it was theirs.
So really, what you are saying, is that you are selfish
A lot of butthurt parents in here offended about a stranger not wanting kids.
http://www.paulchefurka.ca/World Population.JPG
There's nothing selfish about not having kids. There is no shortage of people in the world.
Sorry, but the world does need more kids. It just doesn't need everybody to have 10 kids or entire countries to have a quarter of the world population when they can't hope to feed them.
Parents being stably employed and having kids is not a net-negative to the world.
Sorry, but it does not. You are having kids because YOU want to, not because the world needs them. You know what the world needs? One less kid on the streets. One less kid that doesn't have a loving home. One less kid that won't become a productive member of society because some selfish person decided to have a kid of their own instead of adopting them.
Tell that to the Japanese, or the Russians, or almost all of Europe.
Saying that developed countries, which contribute to the world in many ways, don't need to keep up with the death rate just because some shithole country has too many kids, is simply asinine.
Having a child so you have someone care for you later in life seems like a pretty thin reason to have kids.
Because you're not fucking reading what I'm saying, or just choosing to ignore it. What part of "I participate in charitable programs including giving my time every week for free to elementary school outreach programs" and "I love spending time with my niece and nephews, even spoiling them" and "I try to contribute to the community around me" makes me sound like "I only care about myself and want to spend my time and money only on myself"?But that isn't the point here, is it?
As I said before, if you have the means and the ability, then it is selfish to say "I don't want to have a kid because I want to just spend all of my time and money on me"
As said above, all of these other strawmen people throw up is silly, just say "I am selfish and want to spend all of my time on me". Why not just admit it?
Because you're not fucking reading what I'm saying, or just choosing to ignore it. What part of "I participate in charitable programs including giving my time every week for free to elementary school outreach programs" and "I love spending time with my niece and nephews, even spoiling them" makes me sound like "I only care about myself and want to spend my time and money only on myself"?
Of course I enjoy more of my own time and money than my parent friends, I admitted that in the first post. It's a huge reason I don't want to have kids. But you came in here with this venomous "You're part of the ME ME ME generation, so selfish and caring only about yourself" bullshit that's really, really gotten old. Do you really, honestly, not see the difference?
So let me get this straight: You attack me for "not admitting it," then point out where I "admitted it." I don't think you listen to yourself...But then you go on at length about how your social life is destroyed, your money has to go to other people's clothing, that you can't spend your time the way you want it, that you have to consider other people....etc.
It's not venomous, it's just the truth. Your whole OP is filled with "I don't want to have children because I can't focus on me". You can't sit back and see that?
Again, not saying its wrong...
And as far as me being selfish for wanting kids, sure, I want kids because they are great, they make me feel good, that I love raising them, that I would hope that I do a good enough job that they'll keep me company in my dotage...etc. I have no problem with that.
But that isn't the point here, is it?
As I said before, if you have the means and the ability, then it is selfish to say "I don't want to have a kid because I want to just spend all of my time and money on me"
As said above, all of these other strawmen people throw up is silly, just say "I am selfish and want to spend all of my time on me". Why not just admit it?
And as far as "I won't do this because the world doesn't need it". I hope you don't contribute any larger of a carbon footprint, or drive an SUV, or fly anywhere else, or buy a bigger home or do anything with your money that might pollute more.
Because the world doesn't need any more pollution. It doesn't need any less gas/coal/energy from you burning incrementally more with your newfound wealth. It also doesn't need you to build your super-high end computer to play video games and waste more energy.
But hey, pick and choose your socially liberal policies when and where you can.
But then you go on at length about how your social life is destroyed, your money has to go to other people's clothing, that you can't spend your time the way you want it, that you have to consider other people....etc.
It's not venomous, it's just the truth. Your whole OP is filled with "I don't want to have children because I can't focus on me". You can't sit back and see that?
Again, not saying its wrong...
And as far as me being selfish for wanting kids, sure, I want kids because they are great, they make me feel good, that I love raising them, that I would hope that I do a good enough job that they'll keep me company in my dotage...etc. I have no problem with that.
So really, what you are saying, is that you are selfish and can't possibly fathom why you would spend time/money on anybody else but yourself, or maybe some trinkets for others in your life.
Wonder what would have happened if your parents had been so selfish. This is the GenX/Y'ers everybody, ME ME ME ME ME.
As far as not having kids well into your 30s, I think that's a very poor decision. After having our own issues with having kids we both wished we would have started over. By the time a woman hits 35-37, fertility drops fast.
I know many women who were career focused that ultimately regret not having kids, every one of them. At the end of their lives they have nothing to show for it.
On the other hand, I think it is far less likely that you'll find a parent who had the means and ability to raise a kid, that did, and that regretted it.
I took my two kids to the zoo yesterday with my mom. My wife is out of town and my dad just recently died. I could tell my mom loved every minute of it, especially when my 2.5yr old almost blew up with excitement seeing a polar bear just across the glass from him doing backflips in the water. My parents could have traded kids for a much better life, but then would she had seen that?
You'll understand in a decade or two, but by then it'll probably be too late.
And I disagree, I think people who don't have kids are more selfish, especially if they have the means and ability. But that's a matter of opinion.
No, you're missing the point. I'm not saying I'm not selfish, I'm saying people that have kids are just as selfish. They just want something else.
I do have a question for you...
If you are OK with this "Kids crimp my lifestyle, I don't want them". What would you do if you were given a time machine and you could go back and talk to your parents and give them your viewpoint and convince them that they should just go out and have fun rather than have you. What do you think about that?
I am just curious. I would think it puts you in a little bit of a paradox (other than not being around if they did decide to not do that), because you wouldn't exist.
To those who are giving humanity reasons, wouldn't you advocate the same thing to your parents? Why should you be around if you are just one more body to feed?