Just can't imagine having kids...

[Exterous]

If your kids are like that, it's your own fault.

Incontinent? only because you suck at potty training.

Every kid is different, my older son was 3.5 before he was fully potty trained, my younger son was 2.5.

:hmm: Apparently having kids affects your ability to stay within the bounds of your arguments. At least you managed to suck slightly less at potty training the second time around although he still had to suffer 2.5 years of incontinence because of your faults

 

[Dman8777]

Your life with kids is what you make of it. My wife and I recently had our first child, as did a number of our friends. Some of us manage to continue leading normal lives while the others have become as the OP described. To be honest, I find our 11-month old dog to be more of a burden than our daughter.

 

[ch33zw1z]

At least you managed to suck slightly less at potty training the second time around

No argument there. We had experience, and the younger one had a big brother to look up to. We suck much less at parenting than in the beginning, it's not as easy at it looks

edit: I do appreciate that you read the whole thing. I typed that with the younger one sitting on my lap playing LEGO's

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Look Johnjohn

Within next 5 -10 years you will be changing your mind. Outlook on life will change......what you want will change.....what you like will change.

Keep an open mind. You are in your 20s, give it 5-10 more years and come back and read what you wrote!

People told me that when I was in my 20s and said I didn't want kids. I'm 42 and still feel the same way.

 

[diesbudt]

I am 26, and am all for children at this point. I lived it up enough, and honestly except for maybe traveling to a few places, life has gotten kind of dull on its own.

 

[exdeath]

Ill take an afternoon of legos and Nintendo over talking shit about people behind their backs and all the other dumb shit adults pretend is meaningful.

 

[Vdubchaos]

People told me that when I was in my 20s and said I didn't want kids. I'm 42 and still feel the same way.

Everyone is different, what can I say.

Again, kids are not for everyone.

 

[MrDudeMan]

I find it funny that the OP thinks parents are boring. What a retarded and arrogant statement. I was totally fine before I had kids with the way life was at that time and I understand the foundation of your point of view, but the rest is just ignorant and moronic.

I have literally never been blocked from doing anything I wanted to do because of my kids. Not even once. Some of my wants and desires changed when I had them, but many didn't. However, now I waste far less of my time. That's really all that changed. I still get up in the morning and workout. I still go to work and have lunch with friends. I still come home and do work around the house, clean, talk to my wife, play xbox, and various other things that haven't changed at all. On the weekends, I go do something outside with friends and my kids come along, e.g. hiking, swimming, skiing, or going on day trips. I also take my kids on vacations and literally nothing is different because they're with us. I took my daughter to NYC for 6 days when she was 3 and never regretted it once. She had an amazing time and so did I. Your claim that parents can't do things is just fucking stupid.

Also, about your request for the positives, you're essentially asking everyone to prove why their choice was valid when they don't need to do that for themselves. I don't need your approval to know I made the right choice. I love every second of their lives regardless of if it's a fun moment or a moment that requires sacrifice, which, by the way, are few and far between. I still make breakfast the same way, but now I get to have hilarious conversations while I do it. The idiots who think kids are an insane amount of work like to beat the drum about how much time it takes out of your day, but the magical time suck still hasn't happened to me.

Money? Pfft. I spend way less on them than I do on myself. My last computer upgrade was more expensive than all of the food and diapers I needed for two kids for an entire year.

I don't give two shits what you want to do with your life. With that said, you seriously need to get down off of your soapbox. I had my first kid when I was 24 because I realized I was past the stupid college phase of needing validation from friends. I also had a very diverse set of interests that kept me busy 100% of the time, but having kids was something I wanted to do as well. Having them sooner rather than later has been a huge blessing because I'll have enough energy to keep up with them for their entire adolescence. You are not correct in your assessment of peoples' lives. Some of the nitpicky things you pointed out in your OP may be true, but the context is totally missing. It's not work for me to change a diaper or clean up puke. My kid needs me and a less than one minute expenditure of my time fixes the situation. You probably spend longer looking at yourself in the mirror every day than I do changing diapers.

 

[waggy]

Ill take an afternoon of legos and Nintendo over talking shit about people behind their backs and all the other dumb shit adults pretend is meaningful.

/this

me too. also kids give us a excuse to buy the toys we like :sneaky:

lol My daughter got me a shirt the other day. "Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional" She seen it and said it was perfect for me.

 

[Vdubchaos]

Ill take an afternoon of legos and Nintendo over talking shit about people behind their backs and all the other dumb shit adults pretend is meaningful.

Ohh, I will take afternoon of legos over any friend outing/bs.

ANY day of the week, twice on Sunday.



But I LOVE legos.....

 

[waggy]

I find it funny that the OP thinks parents are boring. What a retarded and arrogant statement. I was totally fine before I had kids with the way life was at that time and I understand the foundation of your point of view, but the rest is just ignorant and moronic.

I have literally never been blocked from doing anything I wanted to do because of my kids. Not even once. Some of my wants and desires changed when I had them, but many didn't. However, now I waste far less of my time. That's really all that changed. I still get up in the morning and workout. I still go to work and have lunch with friends. I still come home and do work around the house, clean, talk to my wife, play xbox, and various other things that haven't changed at all. On the weekends, I go do something outside with friends and my kids come along, e.g. hiking, swimming, skiing, or going on day trips. I also take my kids on vacations and literally nothing is different because they're with us. I took my daughter to NYC for 6 days when she was 3 and never regretted it once. She had an amazing time and so did I. Your claim that parents can't do things is just fucking stupid.

Also, about your request for the positives, you're essentially asking everyone to prove why their choice was valid when they don't need to do that for themselves. I don't need your approval to know I made the right choice. I love every second of their lives regardless of if it's a fun moment or a moment that requires sacrifice, which, by the way, are few and far between. I still make breakfast the same way, but now I get to have hilarious conversations while I do it. The idiots who think kids are an insane amount of work like to beat the drum about how much time it takes out of your day, but the magical time suck still hasn't happened to me.

Money? Pfft. I spend way less on them than I do on myself. My last computer upgrade was more expensive than all of the food and diapers I needed for two kids for an entire year.

I don't give two shits what you want to do with your life. With that said, you seriously need to get down off of your soapbox. I had my first kid when I was 24 because I realized I was past the stupid college phase of needing validation from friends. I also had a very diverse set of interests that kept me busy 100% of the time, but having kids was something I wanted to do as well. Having them sooner rather than later has been a huge blessing because I'll have enough energy to keep up with them for their entire adolescence. You are not correct in your assessment of peoples' lives. Some of the nitpicky things you pointed out in your OP may be true, but the context is totally missing. It's not work for me to change a diaper or clean up puke. My kid needs me and a less than one minute expenditure of my time fixes the situation. You probably spend longer looking at yourself in the mirror every day than I do changing diapers.

I agree with this.

The bolded though. ugh. i spend far more on my 2 kids then i do on myself. Though i never had much desire to travel (we moved a LOT as a kid) and about the only thing i do is upgrade my computer when games suck on it.

I admit i spend a ton on my kids (between gymnastics for both and TWD for both).

I just don't find that i want or need as much stuff as i did when i was younger.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Everyone is different, what can I say.

Again, kids are not for everyone.

I actually love kids. I just don't want any of my own.

 

[skimple]

It only takes about 30 seconds of looking at OP's post history to see how meaningful and full his life is without kids. Why would he want to disrupt his philosophical introspection about pizza delivery guys or masturbation?

I've stopped counting the number of times I have dreaded being dragged into something I didn't want to do because of my kids, and then wound up having a great time or learning a lot about myself.

The world is a new place when you are looking at it through the eyes or your children. You discover that you are not nearly as smart as you think you are, and yet there are little people that think you are a miracle worker.

Its terrifying and exhilarating and humbling and exhausting.

And its not about you.

 

[exdeath]

An adult will put on a bullshit smile while asking devious judgemental questions like what do you do (eg do you make as much money as me) where do you live these days (eg is my house more expensive), what do you drive, etc.

A kid will look you in the eye and honestly genuinely ask and want to know what your favorite color is.

Kids >>>>>>>> adults.

I miss being able to sleep in the same clothes all week and still smell like laundry detergent.

 

[SKORPI0]

Well in the end of the day, it's the OP's and his SO's life and how they choose to live it, with or without a child of their own. All I wish is happiness for them and not look back and dwell on the what ifs. Let's respect what they as a couple have decided. As someone said having a child at this day and age has pluses and negatives. It's a crazy and cruel world out there. :\

 

[JackBurton]

I actually love kids. I just don't want any of my own.

Exactly. I prefer to go into a room with my nephews and play console games than partake with the adults. However, when I'm done, I go back home to peace and quietness....so I can play games with my friend online.

 

[JackBurton]

/this

me too. also kids give us a excuse to buy the toys we like :sneaky:

lol My daughter got me a shirt the other day. "Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional" She seen it and said it was perfect for me.

Why do you have to have kids to buy what you want? I do that now. On the contrary, kids will "normally" keep you from buying what you want because you have less money to do so. If you can do both, great. But normally it will be a compromise between you child's needs and your wants.

 

[johnjohn320]

I don't have time to quote and reply to everyone right now, I'll just say this: The latest trend from parents in this thread now is to say "haha OP's so immature he just wants to go out and drink at a bar, thank God I'm more mature than that, I'd rather spend time with my kids because I'm older."

If you can find one sentence in any of my posts in this thread about wanting to go out drinking at a bar, or about "gossiping about people or BS smalltalk" as at least two other posters have alluded to, as the reasons for my not wanting kids, then by all means quote it here. Otherwise, I'm so sorry that that's all your adult lives consisted of before children. If that's all your childless friends do, then no wonder you have such a low opinion of us...

Again, I know my OP had some biting phrases ("boring", etc) that probably set some parents on the defensive, and perhaps I should have worded it better. But in the meantime, I also wish you guys would recognize that the bulk of my post was just stating reasons for MY not wanting kids. I surrounded those reasons with some reasons that may have sounded insulting, but I also surrounded them with statements of admiration and praise for those who make a different decision. And now, probably because I used words like "boring", I'm engaged in a war of words with parents. I guess that's to be expected. Mea culpa on saying "you're boring" instead of saying "it seems to limit your outside interests and opinions on happenings of the day." But there have also been some pretty nasty, over-generalizing (and false) insults thrown at me in response, so let's call it even, at least.

Anyway, back to work...

 

[Lalakai]

I fully agree..............some people should never have children. Other people have children, making themselves and the world a better place. The OP speaks from the perspective of not having children or seeing the logic wanting to have children, based on his life as a "dink" (double income no kids). For him it's impossible to realize or accept the benefits of having children. Trying to explain that to him, would be like trying to describe "colors" to a person that is color blind; there is no common reference point, so the discussion becomes moot.

I do agree with and support those that do not want children; too many children are in the system from parents that shouldn't have been parents to start with. Children take a tremendous amount of time, energy, commitment and responsibility; some people accept that they don't want to accept those requirements, and that's good.

For those that make the decision and follow through on it, the short sleep nights, the lost ability to leave at the drop of a hat, moving up to the dreaded minivan , the last minute shopping stop because it's your turn to buy drinks and snacks for the soccer team, dropping $ for the cheer leading shirts when you wanted that computer upgrade, and my favorite................the endless school fund raisers that you support not only through your children but also the neighborhood kids that call your home "home away from home". You have my respect. You made a difficult decision and stuck with it, and now you will have memories and connections that will follow you the rest of your lives. You will see life lessons that you taught your children, being taught to your grand children. Trying to explain this to people without children is impossible. Just smile and nod.

 

[Turin39789]

Troll thread is troll

 

[OverVolt]

Selfishness darwinism

 

[RGN]

So really, what you are saying, is that you are selfish and can't possibly fathom why you would spend time/money on anybody else but yourself, or maybe some trinkets for others in your life.

Wonder what would have happened if your parents had been so selfish. This is the GenX/Y'ers everybody, ME ME ME ME ME.

As far as not having kids well into your 30s, I think that's a very poor decision. At the end of their lives they have nothing to show for it.

I haven't read the whole thread, but this stood out like a neon sign.

So, what happens if your perfect kid turns out to be a drug addict? Or a gang leader? Or mentally unstable? You do realize that even with a "great" upbringing children do dumb shit that sets the course of the rest of their lives right?

I only got to the second page of this thread and there have been several great posts with solid, well though out reasons to not have offspring. There has been far less tangible arguments on the pro-kid side, with this post being almost offensive. The premise that a persons or couples lives require a body of work in the form of offspring to be considered selfless or productive just leaves me aghast.

To full disclose my position, I am 35, married (first/only) for 2 years. We don't want children.

I have never had such a ego that made me think I had to leave a lasting legacy in the gene pool. I'm a bag of carbon just like the next guy, the world will be just as fucked up with or without my offspring mucking about. I never realized I was going to be missing out on showing the world I can have sex, by making my wife have a kid. I didn't realize that having children illustrated something to show for my life.

Oh wait, that's right. I'm just a selfish gen x'er that couldn't possibly make a solid decision about something so important.

 

[Fritzo]

Your life with kids is what you make of it. My wife and I recently had our first child, as did a number of our friends. Some of us manage to continue leading normal lives while the others have become as the OP described. To be honest, I find our 11-month old dog to be more of a burden than our daughter.

Kids are great until they turn into teenagers and all their friends show them they need to live 14x beyond their means to be cool.

My son is to the point that he refuses to wear anything without Nike or Adidas logos on them, and if you mention a sales rack he rolls his eyes. Damn kid can go naked as far as I'm concerned

So, young kids = great. Teens = assholes, and it's your job to make them the least asshole-y as possible before they become an adult.

 

[yuku]

I honestly believe that no one should have kids until they're well into their 30's.

People can have kids whenever they feel it is the right time and we should not set age limitations

 

[Kadarin]

I'm 45 and have no desire whatsoever to have or deal with kids in any way.