Just can't imagine having kids...

[lothar]

Who says you have to be married to have kids?

For the record, I'm common law and have a kid, but the woman and I are not officially "married". We made the conscious decision to have a kid, but I didn't feel like spending big bux on a wedding and didn't really see the benefit of the certificate either.

Of you live in B.C., consider yourselves married.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/03/18/bc-family-law-act-common-law-married-couples_n_2901068.html

 

[JamesV]

I had two children when I was 18. I went into the Army to pay for everything, and by the time I got out they were gone to a foster family. I'm not trying to say I'm without blame, but the choice of me raising kids versus giving them to a loving family... I had no choice.

I'm now almost 43, and about a half a year ago, one of my children contacted me. So now I know their last (adopted) names, and have been trying to meet them, but it always seems to not happen. Also found out the 'loving family' was anything but, and considering doing something stupid.

I'm now a grandfather in name; one of my sons had a daughter two weeks ago. But if I'll ever meet her... I'm trying, but who knows.

Sorry to crap on your lighthearted troll post.

 

[halik]

I may not want children, but if I do, I wouldn't use them to validate my world view.

What you did there. I see it.

 

[yuku]

My wife and I decided years ago to not have kids. Every year we have a drink and ask each other "Do you want kids?"

We have a standing agreement that when one wants kids, the other can get a divorce if they do not want kids.

On the upside, we never do and we get to spend a lot of time together in relaxing and fun situations with our DINK status. I get to drive a nice car, go on vacations, and own nice toys. My retirement account gets a good chunk of change, etc. Kids would bog us down.

You know most couples choose to have kid because of unplanned pregnancies. How do you cope with this trouble?

 

[rpsgc]

You know most couples choose to have kid because of unplanned pregnancies. How do you cope with this trouble?

Human sacrifice?



:twisted:

 

[aldamon]

Clearly certain sects of humanity are complete failures at life if they label people with kids "breeders" as a derogatory term. It's fine to not want kids, but demonizing those that do is beyond reason.

It's interesting that you see a compilation of the attacks childfree people hear from friends, family and even strangers on a regular basis and consider it an attack on parents because of a silly title. That's really priceless.

The complete failures of humanity are the nosy and rude parents, family, and members of the public (even complete strangers) that won't quietly respect the answer of no when they ask if someone wants kids. Get over yourselves.

 

[MotionMan]

I was using "you" in general, not referring to you specifically. Of course I don't know your situation, but since you brought it up, why don't you list the unselfish reasons for you having kids.

Having kids is not about having unselfish reasons, it is about being unselfish with your kids.

When you look at it for your own reasons, you are being selfish.

MotionMan

 

[MotionMan]

So let me get this straight: If I have unprotected sex and have a child, and therefore care for thay child out of legal and moral obligation, I'm not selfish.

No, there are plenty of selfish parents. The good ones are not selfish.

But because I volunteer my time at children's schools in the area on my own time, with no one and nothing requiring me to do so, I'm still selfish? Got it.

You can do volunteer work, yet still be selfish. My mother-in-law use to coordinate volunteers at a local museum and many of them were very selfish about their volunteerism (Again, you can be selfish, yet care for and do things for others. However, only willing to do things on your terms or when it suits you is not being unselfish).

MotionMan

 

[ch33zw1z]

Human sacrifice?



:twisted:

look out, getting all Old Testament up in here.

 

[child of wonder]

It's interesting that you see a compilation of the attacks childfree people hear from friends, family and even strangers on a regular basis and consider it an attack on parents because of a silly title. That's really priceless.

The complete failures of humanity are the nosy and rude parents, family, and members of the public (even complete strangers) that won't quietly respect the answer of no when they ask if someone wants kids. Get over yourselves.

It's priceless you don't understand what I meant. I'll be more elaborate here so you can comprehend.

The bingo sheet used the term "breeders" in the heading. As I said, if (notice the "if?" I'm purposefully using that word because I do not know for certain if the makers of the bingo sheet are, in fact, using the term negatively or simply as a nickname but the presence of an almost militant sect of people on /r/ who actively lash out at people with children leads me to believe the possibility exists) people are using that term to attach to parents in a derogatory fashion as though choosing to have children is an act worthy of revulsion and disdain, then those people are complete failures.

 

[rpsgc]

It's priceless you don't understand what I meant. I'll be more elaborate here so you can comprehend.

The bingo sheet used the term "breeders" in the heading. As I said, if (notice the "if?" I'm purposefully using that word because I do not know for certain if the makers of the bingo sheet are, in fact, using the term negatively or simply as a nickname but the presence of an almost militant sect of people on /r/ who actively lash out at people with children leads me to believe the possibility exists) people are using that term to attach to parents in a derogatory fashion as though choosing to have children is an act worthy of revulsion and disdain, then those people are complete failures.

Yet you don't seem to think that people with children who constantly attack and demean people who choose not to have children, calling them selfish, worthless and worse, are "complete failures".

Where's the outrage there? Yeah, I thought so. You're all a bunch of hypocrites. Everything is fine as long as you are the ones doing the insulting and belittling.

 

[child of wonder]

Yet you don't seem to think that people with children who constantly attack and demean people who choose not to have children, calling them selfish, worthless and worse, are "complete failures".

Where's the outrage there? Yeah, I thought so. You're all a bunch of hypocrites. Everything is fine as long as you are the ones doing the insulting and belittling.

When did I say there aren't people who insult and belittle people who choose not to have kids?

However, I'd place people who attack those who have simply undergone the biological drive to propagate our species lower on the totem pole than others.

 

[monkeydelmagico]

Yet you don't seem to think that people with children who constantly attack and demean people who choose not to have children, calling them selfish, worthless and worse, are "complete failures".

Where's the outrage there? Yeah, I thought so. You're all a bunch of hypocrites. Everything is fine as long as you are the ones doing the insulting and belittling.

huh? never run across any pro-child zealots that would grab a bullhorn and damn a soul to hell for remaining childless. I guess if I did I'd have to walk out of earshot. Phew that was hard.

FWIW, my son was not planned. I'm selfish and probably would not have ever chosen to have kids. It happened, I adjusted, and grew up right along side him. I learned to give freely of myself. Might not have ever gotten that lesson otherwise. The pressure to NOT F UP really put a fire under my ass. He's grown and moved on now. Every so often he reminds me that I did a good job as a dad. Brings a tear to an old bastards eye every damn time. Best mistake I ever made.

 

[Scarpozzi]

I got a career job at 22 before finishing my bachelor's degree. I bought my first house at 24, got married at 26.... 5 years later, we decided to have a baby after the wife payed off her school debt. Had the first baby and we're expecting another one. Having kids when you're not financially ready can be tough. Daycare isn't cheap....but is far less than what it costs to lose a second income.

Honestly, it's not been that big of a deal having a baby. You have to watch your children and can't leave them alone when they're young.... It's not a big deal, but it does make it more difficult to watch movies or play video games. Early bed times can help a lot with getting that time to unwind. I don't know how people lived without DVRs. They make it possible for us to hit a single button and then focus all our attention to the baby without worrying about missing a show/movie that we'd already invested time in watching...

It's tough watching them grow up. The older they get, the more they want to be independent. I just hope, as they get older I can give them the tools they need to be self sufficient and responsible for their actions....and keep them from making mistakes a lot of my friends and even family have made.

 

[justoh]

re thread title, OP has a poor imagination? How hard can it be to imagine having kids? This is like Romney's statement claiming that polygamy is the worst thing he can imagine. What about "Homeland"? Finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust?

 

[nickbits]

re thread title, OP has a poor imagination? How hard can it be to imagine having kids? This is like Romney's statement claiming that polygamy is the worst thing he can imagine. What about "Homeland"? Finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust?

i'm sure he just means he can't imagine it not being a nightmare. that's how i feel anyway. i don't think it needed to be spelled out.

 

[soulcougher73]

You know most couples choose to have kid because of unplanned pregnancies. How do you cope with this trouble?

Well if its unplanned and they decided they didnt want kids. Well that is what abortion or adoption are for.

 

[Leyawiin]

I'm not going to base what I do in the best years of my life on how I'll feel when I'm old.

I just meant its similar to that old adage that at the end of one's life they generally don't say "I wish I had spent more time at work" or accumulating things. Most say they wish they had spent more time with their family. Again, most older people with children say their biggest joy or point of pride is their kids. Plus if you are fortunate you have someone to give you a hand when you get to that drooling-on-you-shirt age. I personally know that my senior-citizen widowed mom would be having a lot rougher time without me checking on her and helping her regularly. Its a trite saying, but life's short and old age sneaks up on you quicker than you think it will. I don't have kids and never will and I do wonder what will happen to me when I'm her age in another 33 years (if I live that long!).

 

[Sheep221]

There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids, but I think the OP was overreacting, yes there are parents who only live for parenting, but having kids doesn't necessarily mean you are sacrificing your entire life for the kids, you have increased responsibilities but that doesn't mean you can't do your hobbies or hang out, less frequently but that doesn't mean you can't at all. It however varies from one child to another tho. Some kids are really annoying while some are really calm.
When I hear you can't do this and that when you become parent, it's all BS don't believe that.

 

[ichy]

You know most couples choose to have kid because of unplanned pregnancies. How do you cope with this trouble?

By being smarter them "most couples" about birth control?

 

[KeithTalent]

I'm far too selfish to have kids.

KT

 

[Staples]

^^^^^^^^

At least one guy can admit it.

 

[SampSon]

I've heard exactly what you said at least 50 times. Then all 50 of them changed their tune when they had kids and were forced to be an adult for once. All 50 of them are also still living their lives, spending time with friends, driving nice cars, playing with toys, enjoying rewarding careers, travelling and whatnot. Now they just have some kids.


You're going to end up having kids. You left it open with one of your last statements there. No true conviction is shown and you will cave so quickly to a woman who wants them. Growing up is tough isn't it?

Also don't use that 'no offence' bullshit. Just grow a set of balls and say 'this is my opinion and if you don't like it then too bad'. That's what an adult would do.

 

[yuku]

For those who do not want kids, what will you do if unplanned pregnancies happens? So do not say with certainty that you will not have kid in your life. it is unpredictable in some way

 

[Vdubchaos]

For those who do not want kids, what will you do if unplanned pregnancies happens? So do not say with certainty that you will not have kid in your life. it is unpredictable in some way

I think you are forgetting that this forum is full of perfect people.