I too am an Asian dad. I grew up with traditional parents - they emigrated here for their kids, leaving a very comfortable and familiar lifestyle back in HK. The stricter parent was my mom and all she wanted was our success as adults, which also included financial. While I'm doing ok now, it took quite a while for me to realize that their generation valued "face" more than anything. It's just a different mindset.
Not surprisingly, this has shaped how I have parented. All parents want success for their kids, and the challenge has always been how tight to keep the vice while still allowing a bit of fun and fooling around. Personally I don't agree with parents allowing their kids to do whatever they want. Spend their allowance how they want, or choose a career without thought. We know how little thought they can put into decisions and almost all kids need guidance, even from a very young age. This is not to say we're deciding for them or coddling them, but we're active in their choices. Even so, we're learning on the job determining what is most beneficial to them and have to constantly remind ourselves we're shaping mindsets for the future. We put them into sports early on because we knew keeping them occupied with extracurriculars is the best thing for everyone's sanity, including theirs. I coach them in travel hockey and when they're not at 3x practice or weekend games, all they [and their friends] want to do is play video games. To deprive them of the fun-time memories that are more likely to stick with them would be a mistake and so we let it be.
So through sports we try to teach them their life lessons - earning what you receive, learning from losing, dealing with hardships, social skills, etc. Through the handful of years so far, I've realized that it's a very slow process - something that they must endure through, and make mistakes on their own. Anytime they have success, I still find myself asking more from them, showing little praise. Seeing the other coaches/dads, I'm convinced that's just some of the Asian in me. I want it to be hard for them, and I know they seek validation, but secretly I'm still proud.
I don't say "I love you" either. Sorry boys, it's just not me.