Just got robbed

[BUTCH1]

That is YOUR fault for not protecting YOUR money.

Legally...you can't do a damned thing about it.

Your right, "for now" but when the divorce is filed OP can easily get statements from the bank showing her emptying the account and she will be forced into dividing it up. That's assuming she sticks around though. If a couple gets a divorce ether's 401K account is usually divided 50/50, you could go to your 401K plan-holder and close the account and dump it into a savings account in your name only but in court it's not going to matter, it will be divided. I do agree with you in the separate accounts though, keeps arguments to a minimum IMO..

 

[Markbnj]

The fact that you've been together 22 years says it all.

How many marriages last longer than 5 years these days?

I don't know the answer to that. I have a lot of friends who have been married as long as us or longer. The majority of my married friends, in fact, and nearly all my family members. My Mom and Dad just celebrated 53 years.

Personally I think the stats are skewed by a lot of flaky people who get married four or five times. People have unrealistic expectations that you should spend a lifetime in a rose-tinted tornado of romantic bliss, or some shit like that. Marriage is about finding someone you're compatible with and partnering up to get through all the good and bad stuff life is going to throw at you.

 

[Markbnj]

Over thirty for me. My wife also has complete access to my business account and credit cards.

Grats, man. I don't have a business, but if I did then it would probably have separate accounts. But for our personal stuff we're one individual economic entity . Well, except for her credit union account, which she gets through the hospital where she works, and which she says she just uses to fund our flexible spending plan and pay her tuition, but which I secretly suspect is full of "fuck you I'm gone" money.

 

[Engineer]

OP, you knew when you got married that what's her's is her's and what's yours' is her's. To quote TFP....Everyone knows this.

I've been married to my wife for 23 years (been together for 26.5) and we have joint everything accounts. I see no issue with this.

 

[BoomerD]

OP, you knew when you got married that what's her's is her's and what's yours' is her's. To quote TFP....Everyone knows this.

I've been married to my wife for 23 years (been together for 26.5) and we have joint everything accounts. I see no issue with this.

Yep. We've been married 39 years as of yesterday...we've had joint everything accounts since before we got married.

HOWEVER...if you separate with the intent of divorce...separate your money. Put YOUR money where she can't access it.


That SHOULD be common sense.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

I'm gonna find this bitch and...

You probably shouldn't have sentences like that on the internet. Divorce lawyers find that stuff.

 

[Markbnj]

You probably shouldn't have sentences like that on the internet. Divorce lawyers find that stuff.

Not to mention that saying something like that, on the Internet or anywhere else, makes you an asstard who needs to be bitch-slapped with a brick.

 

[Hugo Drax]

The fact that you've been together 22 years says it all.

How many marriages last longer than 5 years these days?

The problem is people rush into marrige.

 

[twinrider1]

Go to a bar, have a beer, and play this Bob Seger song on the juke box.

I hope there are no kids. It sucks if there are. If not, hire the nastiest atty you can afford and pin her to the wall. Personally, it wouldn't be about revenge, but more about getting it over as fast as possible while conserving your assets.

 

[PeeluckyDuckee]

Reminds me of a couple that had a joint account but split. The guy hasn't checked his account for over a year, and one day decided to call into his bank, only to realize his ex has been withdrawing funds from their joint account every month lol. Guess he made enough to not care about how much is in there for over a year.

 

[shadow9d9]

My wife and I have had our money in a joint account for 22 years. So I guess I'm an idiot.

Doing something stupid and being lucky doesn't make it any less stupid.

"I drive without a seatbelt all the time and I have never been injured!" This is the equivalent of what you just said.

 

[shadow9d9]

The problem is people rush into marrige.

The problem is that not everyone actually feels love and that people aren't generally reliable or dedicated. They are selfish.

 

[shadow9d9]

My wife and I will have been married 5 years this year and our money's been in a joint account the whole time. We have separate checking and a joint savings. She also has access to both of my high limit credit cards and can sign checks from my account.

Moral of the story is don't marry someone you don't trust and she won't fuck you over.

It is easy for you to say for now. Everyone thinks they are so smart and want to take credit for luck. Be thankful that you are lucky so far. People change and there is NOTHING that you could do to stop it or predict it.

Personally, I saw absolutely no reason to ever combine finances, and never did.

 

[Tweak155]

It is easy for you to say for now. Everyone thinks they are so smart and want to take credit for luck. Be thankful that you are lucky so far. People change and there is NOTHING that you could do to stop it or predict it.

Personally, I saw absolutely no reason to ever combine finances, and never did.

Someone sounds bitter.

5yrs married, joint accounts ever since we tied the knot. One savings and one checkings we both do our finances from.

 

[Markbnj]

Doing something stupid and being lucky doesn't make it any less stupid.

"I drive without a seatbelt all the time and I have never been injured!" This is the equivalent of what you just said.

Except that there is loads of solid physical evidence that bad things are likely to happen to people who drive without a seat belt, whereas the notion that bad things are likely to happen to people who get married and combine their finances is just your ignorant assumption.

 

[drebo]

It is easy for you to say for now. Everyone thinks they are so smart and want to take credit for luck. Be thankful that you are lucky so far. People change and there is NOTHING that you could do to stop it or predict it.

Personally, I saw absolutely no reason to ever combine finances, and never did.

We've been together for more than a third of our lives. I have a bit of a handle on her. Yes, she's changed and a lot of it hasn't been for the better, but I still trust her and she so far has not given me reason not to.

 

[MagickMan]

"we went to Wells Fargo and made a joint account" "We have been separated for a couple weeks and looking to get a divorce"

Your still married, its a joint account and she legally has a much right as you to withdraw or transfer it. Oh, and don't do anything stupid.

Yep. If you're going to be stupid enough to leave it laying around (you could have secured it first), I have no sympathy for you.

 

[schmuckley]

We've been together for more than a third of our lives. I have a bit of a handle on her. Yes, she's changed and a lot of it hasn't been for the better, but I still trust her and she so far has not given me reason not to.

..and your bank account is drained.
I'd say you have a reason not to now.
Don't do anything stupid.
This too, shall pass.

 

[Bryophyte]

..and your bank account is drained.
I'd say you have a reason not to now.
Don't do anything stupid.
This too, shall pass.

Drebo isn't the OP.

 

[Greenman]

Grats, man. I don't have a business, but if I did then it would probably have separate accounts. But for our personal stuff we're one individual economic entity . Well, except for her credit union account, which she gets through the hospital where she works, and which she says she just uses to fund our flexible spending plan and pay her tuition, but which I secretly suspect is full of "fuck you I'm gone" money.

That's very interesting. I've often thought my wife had a stash I don't know about, whenever I ask her about it she just smiles and says "do you really think I'd do that?". I can't help but note that she's never actually said "no".

 

[squarecut1]

People change and there is NOTHING that you could do to stop it or predict it

.

A lot of truth in that

 

[JEDIYoda]

Thing is OP when the divorce is filed that will be considered "community money" and she will be forced to split it with you 50/50 unless as someone else mentioned it was a huge chunk and she skips town with it, now you might not ever find it/her and if you do years later it will be "sorry, I spent it". I'd get a lawyer ASAP dude.

ya think......sorry your honor but my client spent all the money...lol...rofl..hahahaa

 

[cressida]

People change and there is NOTHING that you could do to stop it or predict it.

Ain't that the truth! Hahha.

To the OP, sorry to hear the news. Hope things get better for ya soon.

 

[iGas]

OP, you knew when you got married that what's her's is her's and what's yours' is her's. To quote TFP....Everyone knows this.

I've been married to my wife for 23 years (been together for 26.5) and we have joint everything accounts. I see no issue with this.

IMHO, the OP is in a denial state. The OP should consider that as the start of the pay as you go divorce plan. Because, taking what little in the OP join account is only the begining, thus the OP has yet to pay child support & alimony if applicable.

 

[pcgeek11]

Over thirty for me. My wife also has complete access to my business account and credit cards.

Same here 31 going on 32 real hard.

Key here is Do Not marry someone you cannot trust completely.