I was just making a bad joke TBH.
I do think that it's a positive thing that there's less stigma to divorce and thus people are choosing to try to salvage their lives rather than live in a bad marriage.
Maybe people are just living long enough to get sick of each other. It would be interesting to see some comparisons of long-lived marriages now vs., say, 200 years ago. Did people often live long enough to be married 50 or even 60 years back then?
For my part, if you don't intend to become one person, one family, one economic unit, what the hell is the point of the ceremony, and the paper, and all the bullshit? (I mean, you could argue what the point of it is in any case, but I mean specifically, what is the point when you're already strategizing how best to exit the marriage if that becomes necessary?) Maybe marriage really is an anachronism now.
A similar figure is often payed to make a spouse disappear... so yea.
As far as I know L&R isn't 'secret' information.
Either the OP has a wife and has had 'their' money 'stolen', or he's been cheating on his wife with a married subordinate, or he's not got a wife and has been sleeping with a married subordinate, or he's not married and not screwing a subordinate.
Over all, the level of contradiction doesn't rise to the level of 'liar' he could have simply left out the sleeping with a co-worker in this thread and the cheating on his wife part in the other thread.
And yea; we all know why Alky is so keen to not be called on cheating, but that's not the point of the thread...
I didn't make them public, but if I were to make an L&R thread that completely explained or contradicted an ATOT thread, I would expect someone to call me out on it. As is, people appear to be falling for a troll that never mentioned having a wife prior to this thread and that last mentioned having a girlfriend over five years ago.
Not surprising that someone that divorced twice would empathize with the op, though.
Just pointing out reality for those that need a reality check. Doing something risky and emotion based doesn't make it magically intelligent just because you got lucky.
If you bothered reading, I never comingled finances in my marriage. This being in the case, how could I possibly be bitter if I never did something stupid in the first place?
Maybe people are just living long enough to get sick of each other. It would be interesting to see some comparisons of long-lived marriages now vs., say, 200 years ago. Did people often live long enough to be married 50 or even 60 years back then?
For my part, if you don't intend to become one person, one family, one economic unit, what the hell is the point of the ceremony, and the paper, and all the bullshit? (I mean, you could argue what the point of it is in any case, but I mean specifically, what is the point when you're already strategizing how best to exit the marriage if that becomes necessary?) Maybe marriage really is an anachronism now.
Interesting you can give all this wisdom yet fail to determine that the phrase "Someone sounds bitter" doesn't actually mean that the person IS bitter, they just sound like it. Who knows what caused it, or if the person actually is.
Also you limit the outcome of no problems strictly to being lucky, pretty much indicates your suggestions are full of bias either way.
Maybe people are just living long enough to get sick of each other. It would be interesting to see some comparisons of long-lived marriages now vs., say, 200 years ago. Did people often live long enough to be married 50 or even 60 years back then?
For my part, if you don't intend to become one person, one family, one economic unit, what the hell is the point of the ceremony, and the paper, and all the bullshit? (I mean, you could argue what the point of it is in any case, but I mean specifically, what is the point when you're already strategizing how best to exit the marriage if that becomes necessary?) Maybe marriage really is an anachronism now.
Who in their right mind is dumb enough to get a joint account --I guess the same people who are dumb enough to get married? Married or not, keep your own money separate.
Wow, I feel sorry you have such a poor outlook in your ability to create a lasting partnership!
Good luck dude..
Damn. 50%?
I remember being about twelve years old and having a long argument with a (not very bright) neighbor kid who insisted that if you were to just run across the street at any time without regard for traffic that you had a 50/50 chance of being hit by a car. In his little world, you'll either be hit or you wont be hit. Two possible outcomes, so the odds are 50%.
Interesting you can give all this wisdom yet fail to determine that the phrase "Someone sounds bitter" doesn't actually mean that the person IS bitter, they just sound like it. Who knows what caused it, or if the person actually is.
Also you limit the outcome of no problems strictly to being lucky, pretty much indicates your suggestions are full of bias either way.
Thats a pretty cynical view. A lot of marriages are shotgun, lust, not knowing each other, not being from similar strata professionally spiritually and culturally. You can certainly improve odds like wearing seat-beat vs not. For example religious people it's like 15% muslims I'm sure even lower. I imagine marrying a bar fly brings national avgs closer to 50%. I was reading this this book called Coming Apart and it said upper class people divorce at only 20% while poor is closer to 70%. Basically you cant just say 50/50 chance. There are tons of mitigating factors.
Wow, I feel sorry you have such a poor outlook in your ability to create a lasting partnership!
Good luck dude..
He and a couple other posters here are IMHO simply trolling any kind of L&R topic.
IMHO they themselves are very bitter about how their lives turned out despite them saying here that their lives are a blessing and they were lucky.
I have been through a few divorces and a half dozen plus live-in relationships that sometimes went tragic.
These people's advice / back stories do not make sense most of the time.
I don't know about that. Literature all the way back to Greek times is replete with stories of romantic love and its role in long term relationships and family life. I would concede that it is only with the material prosperity of modern times that we have the luxury of marrying solely for love, if that's what we want to do.
Bad things also happen to people walking down the street. So I assume you would advise against walking down the street.
Stories are great, but still just stories. They are often used as a way to wish for a better time.
Marriage, up until the mid 1900s, was primarily about line of descendants, property, and ownership of women.
You are still a virgin AFAIK, let the grown ups talk.
What people discuss in L&R vs ATOT can be two very different things. In fact there have been L&R posts where the poster mentions not being honest in ATOT.
Even though you're replying to alky I'll respond because it dovetails with your reply to me...Cry cry cry.
You can't address the argument, because the argument is sound. You can use innuendo and try to attack people, but that is all that you will ever have.
The seat belt analogy is perfect. You can either drive and be lucky or wear a seatbelt to be safe in case of a crash. You can marry and be lucky or don't commingle funds/get a prenup to be safe. It is as simple as that.... Or you could end up going towards a third divorce and have absolutely no savings/retirement left from previous divorces, like Alkemyst. Of course, you could also be reduced to participating in what is illegal in 23 states because you are so desperate and broke from your foolishness in your first two failed marriages, again, like Alkemyst.
Even though you're replying to alky I'll respond because it dovetails with your reply to me...
Marriages are #1 about trust. Complete trust. Sexual financial emotional. If you cant trust em don't fucking marry them. Especially in todays world where pussy is almost free. With a prenup you're saying right off the bat I dont trust you - which is fine - but it wont last. I even told my brother get prenups because he's attracted to trophy types.
Trust is another mitigating factor I talked about earlier to improve your chances and not be on the bad end of statistics. Thats what I meant by it's not 50/50. It's more like 90/10 for people who can't trust.
"Someone sounds bitter" is simply a way to cry on the internet because you don't like what they have to say. Try addressing the argument or admit that you have no argument.
Yes, whether a person changes many years down the line is luck based. Even the most sane people can change for the worse and there is absolutely nothing you can do. This is reality. Time to join it.
Cry cry cry.
You can't address the argument, because the argument is sound. You can use innuendo and try to attack people, but that is all that you will ever have.
The seat belt analogy is perfect. You can either drive and be lucky or wear a seatbelt to be safe in case of a crash. You can marry and be lucky or don't commingle funds/get a prenup to be safe. It is as simple as that.... Or you could end up going towards a third divorce and have absolutely no savings/retirement left from previous divorces, like Alkemyst. Of course, you could also be reduced to participating in what is illegal in 23 states because you are so desperate and broke from your foolishness in your first two failed marriages, again, like Alkemyst.
Even though you're replying to alky I'll respond because it dovetails with your reply to me...
Marriages are #1 about trust. Complete trust. Sexual financial emotional. If you cant trust em don't fucking marry them. Especially in todays world where pussy is almost free. With a prenup you're saying right off the bat I dont trust you - which is fine - but it wont last. I even told my brother get prenups because he's attracted to trophy types.
Trust is another mitigating factor I talked about earlier to improve your chances and not be on the bad end of statistics. Thats what I meant by it's not 50/50. It's more like 90/10 for people who can't trust.