*Last Update (I hope) girlfreind tells me "we need to talk"

[MackGoose]

Dude,
Get some warm liver and a copy of Penthouse Forums......Need I say more? If this girl is asking for a cooling off period, it has to be from you IM, calling, Paging, sniffing her underwear, getting a pube found on her bathroom floor DNA analyzed, etc. Trust me I've been there. Not the warm liver part, I just lay on my arm until it "falls asleep" and then tape it partly shut.....it'll feel like someone else....anyways. I was in a long distance relationship. Atlanta to NY. (it worked out for us - now married with two kids...I think they're mine LOL) It had the same problems. Cool off, lay low and then when it's been a few weeks, go see her and beat the crap out of the anal hamster intruding guy James. Sniff his finger, if it seems familiar, nail her roommate. If it smells like Phil McKracken, James' Roommate, then still beat the crap out of him and still nail her roommate. She has you following like a lost puppy. When she thinks she's losing you, she'll come running. Be a little distanct. Act like you have a hobby and are out more than you actually are.
Here's what she's done to you:
Head in James' lap - gets you mad, but she still has you following around
Old BF kisses her and she doesn't tell you - She's sitting around the frat house laughing her ass off as she tells these guys about you.
Gets on the defensive whenever you directly ask her about the "problem" - DING DING DING, she's guilty. She goes on the offensive so you back off...She's feeling guilty.
- I bet $5.37 that when you go and see her, you'll ge the booty, but she'll be cold and distant, then only want to take you to "out of the main stream places" or stay in her dorm with you. Ask to go to some parties or go around campus. She'll balk.............

 

[IndyJaws]

Make sure everyone involved knows the definition of a "cooling off period" or else someone will be yelling

WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!

(It's Thursday night, had to get in a Friends line )

 

[ImTyping]

<< So... after talking to her I feel a lot better about things. We agreed that maybe we should step back for a little while to give eachother a chance to catch our breath and figure things out. Not go on a break or anything like that.. just 'cool' things down a notch or two >>



The only thing cooling down is your crotch. Her notch is probably being invaded right now as we speak. By her former bf or someone you do not know. Stop being naive, dude.

 

[new99]

there are SOOOOO many women in this world. y do people stress soo much ONE girl/woman? there are times, where you do need to, but that was high school and mayb some underdeveloped college students.. y run a topic on anandtech's 'off topic' forum that gets updated and gets like a million replies? in your case, long distance is just hard to work out, PERIOD. its either u stay together or u dont. there is NO in between (then, there are, of course, those very SMALL exceptions).. i understand love and difficulties (trust me, i've been through it) but WHY do certain people act like its the end of the world? y not move on and when ur over it pick up some other girl? is it really THAT hard for you? if it is then i guess u might as well act like it IS the end of the world. am i the only one feeling this way about people who post this kind of stuff?:disgust:

 

[Forever42]

Wow, new, I feel bad for you that you've never felt that way about someone.

(edit: plus, WHY do people insist on using "y" for why, and "r" for "are"? that's ghey )

 

[Albatros]

why does it seem that everybody is having girl problems?!
i think that its just that time of year. . .
if you look on the bright side of things, you wont have to spend as much at christmas!!

 

[Rallispec]

<< (edit: plus, WHY do people insist on using "y" for why, and "r" for "are"? that's ghey ) >>


haha.. i agree...

anyways.. as for this "cooling off period" .. i think i explained it wrong. its NOT a break. Just going to settle down a little... no more of the getting married talk, no more 4 hour conversations on the phone till 3 in the morning every night.. not for a while at least. We need to focus on school right now and get through this semester and pass.



<< why does it seem that everybody is having girl problems?! >>


Its just that time of the year.. Christmas, exams, lots of stress....

 

[Croton]

why do people use ghey for gay?
that's streyt!

 

[Forever42]

*shrug* Saw someone on here use it and thought it was different

 

[UnixFreak]

A little reverse psychology couldnt hurt. Start talking about all the girls that are hanging around you, hint at chicks, wanting you etc.. not only does it show her how you feel, it increases your property value. Then, get a quick bang out of her if she comes back for xmas, or whatever. then DROP HER.. . Best advice you can take.


You are going to be hurt anyway, I think. Tis better to be hurt, with an empty pouch, and a couple less condoms in your posession, if you know what I mean.

(that would make a decent sig )

 

[y2kc]

well, well, well...this is worst than I thought. First she treats you like crap and you beg her to tell you why. Then you allow her to take you on an emotional rollercoaster; "she loves me, she loves me not.......", now everythings peachy? C'MON MAN!!! GROW A PAIR WHY DON"T YA!!!! Tell her simply "look baby, I love you but I am not to be played with" At least give her the impression that you will dump her if her semi-cheating and overall schizophrenic behavior persists. Stop with the sensitive guy stuff already, show some strength and she will melt.....and behave.

 

[Rallispec]

Y2kc... When we talked the other day i had every inention of breaking up with her.. and she realized this and saw how she had been treating me.. and i realized i really want to be with her. And so far things have worked out real well.. She's just a very emotional girl.. takes pateince to be with her.. Its worth it though, SHe's really hot, really nice, really fun, and i have the best time being with her.

 

[krazykilroy]

Look, go to a strip joint, get a few Lap dances, touch some snatch, and enjoy yourself!!!

seriously though, She's trying to make you and her break up with her, knowing that if she dumped you, you'd be bawling your head off and slitting your wrist like an excite.com cable subscriber. That's what I used to do back in the day. Not telling you something too drastic that warrants insta-dump, but enough to give you a crap-load of angst.

I still would look into one of those strip joints. though. Not a regular one, one of those seedy joints where anything goes.

 

[y2kc]

Well, you know her better than I do. Hopefully things will work out for you. Sorry bout being a jerk in my posts, I'm just joshing you. You have my sincerest best wishes.

 

[gtsukada]

Rallispec, when i read your thread i nearly freaked it was like looking at my current situation. Same distance problems (Orange County - Berkeley) and the talk over Thanksgiving. I'm glad to see your situation is going a little better than mine. I totally love my girlfriend and all but it just doesn't work when somebody doesn't have the time to see you or give you the attention that you need. So as of last Friday, i'm currently single again . . . i guess the only good thing about our breakup was i gained a life long friend. I still have plenty of questions and feel responsible, but i know that somehow everything will work out again.

Best Wishes and Good Luck To You


If any of my friends read this then yeah D_b_a broke up with me

 

[Rallispec]

hey gtsukada.. sorry to hear that...
Me and my girlfriend broke up twice already, for like 1 or 2 days at time becuase it just got so stressful being apart from each other. Things always seemed to work out thought. This past time was the first time i ever really saw my relationship in danger of truly failing though. And thigns still arent where i'd like them to be. But its better than it was.
Why do you feel responsible? i'm sure it wasnt your fault.. Sometimes i think its easier to blame ourselves for problems.. but when you take a step back and look at things you realize that maybe you really didnt do that much wrong. Girls can just be real emotional and that makes things hard..
So are hoping to get back togehter with "d_b_a"?
Best of luck to you... i hope it all works out for you

 

[SnowPunk98]

I really must reiderate (spelling) my last post

 

[SweetBaboo]

I just saw your thread and read the whole thing. I went through the exact (ok, almost exact) same thing 4 years ago when I first started college. Best advice? Scroll up and read Unix Freak's advice.

 

[tantos]

The more I read this thread, the more I think you need to go through some heartache to learn..Its only been 6 months and already problems.damn!

 

[pay]

Sounds like shes cheating on you

 

[killmeplease]

You have just set a prededent in your relationship. She can behave badly as long as she says she's "stressed". Want to bet that her behavior will never change regardless of any situation she finds herself? I may be all wrong here, but you may be wrong just the same.

I'm not trying to be cruel. I and surely lots of guys in this thread have been there. If her behavior doesn't change IMMEDIATELY, tell her you're "outa there". And follow through if you have to. It will hurt like hell, but it will save you alot of heart-ache in the long run.

Good luck, my friend.

 

[Rallispec]

killmeplease / puzzlefighter, I see your point.. But if this happens again, i will break up with her. I just really love this girl, and as hard as it can be sometimes.. the times when it is good make up for everything. But if she thinks she can get away with being like this more... she's wrong. I've pretty much been pushed to the limits as far as how much i can take and if things dont change, i will be 'outta here'. I think they are going to change though.
over the past few days things really have gotten better and i'm glad i've made the decision to staty with her. I told her how i felt.. what was wrong with things before.. got some stuff off my chest and that really helped. I think that if i'm willing to put up with a little bit now, it will really be worth it in the long run.

~danny (<-- cant believe how long this thread has lasted. )

 

[imported_vr6]

I agree with the last two posts. In December, it would be two year anniversary with my current girlfriend. We go to College together. I am only 18yrs old... shes so sucked into the relationship and always wants to talk about the future ( marriage, kids, livin togther, Etc.) For as much as i love this girl.. i really do, but I am 18!!! i do not care for the future right now. I am just starting college and want to have fun without having to worry about calling her when i go out or letting her know what i am doing.

If i knew the relationship would be like how it is now, (everything is fine but i just don't like how she she into the future), i would of ended it. ITs alittle late now, after two years of being with her, its hard to just end it. She is a good girlfriend, but i just don't want to settle down since the age of 16, and now 18! but looks lik i am stuck for now...

 

[SnowPunk98]

whats the deal you dump her yet>?

 

[blahbooboo2]

I know this sounds a bit mean, but you sound sooo whipped in your postings. A relationship while never an equal balance of power, cannot exist well with such an obviously large imbalance (she b*tches, you come running to fix things). In the long run this sounds quite unhealthy.

Let me give you a piece of advice; when you are in a relationship, your ability to think about the relationship in a logical fashion goes straight out the window, it can't be done. You need to rely on the help from your GOOD friends who know you. Now, after reading the tons of responses to this thread, one consistent thing should be JUMPING out at you here, almost everyone is saying GET OUT. Think about that, as these are people reading your BIASED account of things - when I say biased, I say this as you are most likely trying to phrase things in as an optimistic fashion to maintain this relationship (at least sub-consciously).

Anyway, you will probably continue this cycle with her, but think about the fact that there are legions of people telling you to get out. Don't mistake lust for love...the hormones flying around sure make it hard to tell the difference. Good luck!