Originally posted by: UNESC0
Anyways, now I'm moving 4500km away to a better life without her, and I can't wait to get back everthing that relationship took away from me!
Oh, I also slept with her best friend's cousin.
Relationships only take away what you let them.
People get hung up usually on fault. Most of the time the other person was not doing anything in an attempt to be malicious. They are merely doing the things they need. No one is usually at-fault, it's just they have grown apart or were not right for each other in the first place.
Some people are totally ok with their spouse going out and doing half the bar...other's can't handle them even talking to a member of the opposite sex. There is someone for everyone, and no matter how odd or wrong you think someone is; another person is going to totally get them.
When my relationships end, I let them go. I am not going to say I don't get upset about it..but like someone that dies, you get your grieving out of the way and get back in the game.
After my divorce I took 3 years off dating really...not counting my ex that we still saw each other for a couple months post-divorce until it just got too wierd, I slept with only two other chicks during that time...both were friends I had where things just happened once. My divorce was not so much about losing her as it was trying to figure out what I really wanted. I was only 24 at the time and just lost about $80k in equity plus about 3 months of vacation time customizing the place. I lost 4 cats. I had to liquidate most of my stuff as I had no where to put it....everything was new and basically fire-sold. It was a tough loss after having a plan to own my home by 30. This was not just a 'starter' home either. About 2700 sq ft on a oversized lot with an additional 40 feet of easement bordering a nice canal. It was a nice house. Getting back into dating at that time would have had me on a serious rebound, plus take away time I spent on self-development and just doing stuff on my own. Prior to that I always had a g/f, I was basically never single since my teens.
After those 3 years, I travelled to a young adult gathering for a vacation and a weekend hanging out with people. I hooked up left and right that weekend...the cool thing was was there was no guilt or them pushing me to become commited. It was a great long weekend...I had stayed in touch with a couple of those women for a long time after and saw a few while passing through travelling.
After that I dated a lot...about once a week easily. Sometimes I'd go out with a couple chicks a week and sometimes leave one's house to go out with another. I was honest that I was not looking for anything serious and that I would be dating. I found this worked best...some chicks would just walk, but most would be ok with it and preferred the 'no-strings attached' deal. We all got what we wanted and everything was more fun. It was a lot of fun..but also limiting. You begin to see why it's nice to have a real g/f at times.
Most people make the mistake of going from one serious relationship to another right away. Within a few dates, even with sex; there is no way to determine if that person should be your next ready and steady. They do themselves a disservice by this. They end up 10 years in a marriage and then wonder what other people are like.
Women (and men probably) can be categorized into maybe a half dozen to dozen personality 'types'. Finding that right type is the key. For every personality type, there is every type of look. Matching those is the final step of the puzzle. Most people just shop looks or availability picking the next person that just lands in their lap.
The bonus to all this is the more you date the easier it is. I can go up to any chick and start a conversation, or at least attempt to. If she blows me off, I am not going to play puppy and keep trying...it's cool. There are plenty of women to talk to each night. They are usually there for the same reason even if they don't admit it (it's their way of being nice about not being interested). Even if me and a lady don't hit it off, we have at least parted as aquaintances, and if the night is dead and we see each other again we at least have some conversation possibily. Occasionally just a F' it let's just do it.
Another thing people have the problem with is running into exes. It's like a battle to trash the other person. I can simply say hi to those that we parted ok and to those where it was a bad breakup, I ignore. I don't run and leave the place or get defensive to 'why are they there'. It's over, matters not to me.
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