Let her move in?

[DocBartend]

My ex from 8 years ago, yep...well we have always talked and stayed close. SHe helped me through a bad marriage and helped me see different sides of it. Now i have been divorced nearly a year and my ex wants to move back to Delaware and move in with me. Plus she comes with an extra package, a little girl. Now the daughter knows me and is excited to move with me but whoa!!! am i ready for such a change? Single life rules, but having 'that person' there when you really need them is really good. An added factor is i havent seen her in 4 years but i know she looks good but she has become more trendy, which i am not. I am a redneck hippie computer geek who spends too much time fixing our servers that people just wallop. She goes to clubs, i go to whiskey bars with live music and chicks dancing on the bar late at night. Oh did i mention i find time to EQ. I do love this girl, but what i must find out is if i love her or her former that i still envision. Fire away if you please, i have a sense of humor.

 

[Jfur]

no

 

[murphy55d]

i wouldnt.

 

[datalink7]

I am a redneck hippie computer geek

:Q

 

[Spac3d]

Originally posted by: datalink7

I am a redneck hippie computer geek

:Q

Thats what I am thinking!

Don't let her move in.

Spac3d

 

[amnesiac]

If there was a way to make a reply using 128-point blinking red font, and I was allowed one chance in my life to use it, I would use it now. And I would need but two letters:




NO






First, most couples in a STABLE relationship have problems when they move in together. In fact, while just over 50% of normal marriages end in divorce, over 70% of couples who married after living together broke up within a year. Not only is your relationship long and rocky (hey, you broke up for a reason) you're throwing an additional wrench into the works - the girl.

Yes, you may love your ex to death. You may love the little girl. But that love alone won't prepare you for the trials you'll have to face when they move in.

If you want to help her, find her a place to live for a while. If you two are really meant for each other, you'll see it and get married. THEN you can move in together.

 

[Shockwave]

Is she moving in as a roommate or as a relationship? As a relationship, no
As a roommate that might become a relationship? Yep. Best way to get to know someone.

 

[RSMemphis]

Too fast and too furious.

Seriously, getting together again is one thing, but before you know that you do want to, I would not let her move in.
Slow = good.

 

[benliong]

I don't think you should rush things. Shockwave is right. If she's moving in just as roommate, it's going to be a great way to build up the relationship and get yourself confortable. That way she wouldn't have the right to tell you what to do and what not.

If she's asking to move in to start a relationship again, tell her that you guys should take things a little slower.

just my 2 cents

 

[dabuddha]

you'd be stupid if you did

 

[Scarpozzi]

Are you married to her? If yes, the answer would be MAYBE.....if you're not married to her then, NO.

Who's idea was it for her to move in with you? If it was hers, she might be having financial troubles and be looking for a way out...or she might be having single-mother woes... (can't find a guy cause of her daughter and responsibility she has for her)

It's obvious that she thinks a lot of you because she wants to move in, but allowing it would be a mistake. These situations go South every day and the person with the living quarters usually suffers the most financially and when it breaks off, it breaks off nasty. Save yourself and go to your whiskey bar.

 

[Hammer]

seems like a bad idea to me. whatever reasons you split up for are most likely still there.

 

[spiridion]

do you mind babysitting while she goes out?

let her move back just not move in...

 

[Supermercado]

I'd say no.

 

[DocBartend]

Well when we broke up it was like 9 years ago so the reasons back then were just to get more. God i cant imagine babysitting and going to PTC's and all the other stuff. God bless all you with kids but i just dont know. I know that if i said to move back here but not with me she would decline that idea. And then if i wanted to pursue her then i would have to move to Michigan. Now i do see ATOT LAN parties there so may be cool b/c there is never one close enough to theis small wonder of a state. Thanks for the input ya'll. I have to seriously think this out obviously. It wouldnt happen til June anyway. A long sip of Laphroaig every day for 6 months will help me decide. j/k

 

[bmacd]

Originally posted by: Shockwave
Is she moving in as a roommate or as a relationship? As a relationship, no
As a roommate that might become a relationship?

I'd vote NO on both accounts, unless you're doing this out of the kindness in your heart to give her a place to stay. But keep in mind that ALL of your privacy is now gone and you're going to need to change a TON of your habits.

-=bmacd=-

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: amnesiac 2.0
If there was a way to make a reply using 128-point blinking red font, and I was allowed one chance in my life to use it, I would use it now. And I would need but two letters:




NO

I'd have used Neon Green font myself. But same idea.

NO WAY IN HELL.

I hope that's clear enough.

- M4H

 

[Shockwave]

You guys are being to hasty. Theres obviously emotions and feelings there.
by letting her move in, yes, you will have a ton of changes. But the flip side? You may VERY well like it. being a father is more then babysitting. Its being Superman. Spiderman. He-Man. Literally, YOU become a superhero. And your that superhero EVERY DAY.
Also, this could become not only the relationship of your life, but also the woman you spend your life with.

Thus, i say go for it. Its a new adventure. A change from the old. Worst case scenraio? It doesnt work out, you hate each other, fight all the time and she / you move out as soon as humanly possible. What does this give you? A great story to tell over a cold beer.
best case? You become a superhero and spend the rest of your life with the woman you love.
Think about it man. Seems win win to me. You either get a funny story for cold beer time, or become a superhero / lifelong love.

 

[PG]

Originally posted by: Shockwave
You guys are being to hasty. Theres obviously emotions and feelings there.
by letting her move in, yes, you will have a ton of changes. But the flip side? You may VERY well like it. being a father is more then babysitting. Its being Superman. Spiderman. He-Man. Literally, YOU become a superhero. And your that superhero EVERY DAY.
Also, this could become not only the relationship of your life, but also the woman you spend your life with.

Thus, i say go for it. Its a new adventure. A change from the old. Worst case scenraio? It doesnt work out, you hate each other, fight all the time and she / you move out as soon as humanly possible. What does this give you? A great story to tell over a cold beer.
best case? You become a superhero and spend the rest of your life with the woman you love.
Think about it man. Seems win win to me. You either get a funny story for cold beer time, or become a superhero / lifelong love.

Here's another, more realistic way of looking at this. She will use him as a babysitter while she goes out to clubs looking to hook up with other guys. Maybe if she's lucky she'll bring a few guys back to his place and nail them there. And she naturally won't have money for food or rent so she'll be living off him. Wow, sounds like a lot of fun to me.

Have some self respect and don't put yourself in a bad situation.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: PG

Originally posted by: Shockwave
You guys are being to hasty. Theres obviously emotions and feelings there.
by letting her move in, yes, you will have a ton of changes. But the flip side? You may VERY well like it. being a father is more then babysitting. Its being Superman. Spiderman. He-Man. Literally, YOU become a superhero. And your that superhero EVERY DAY.
Also, this could become not only the relationship of your life, but also the woman you spend your life with.

Thus, i say go for it. Its a new adventure. A change from the old. Worst case scenraio? It doesnt work out, you hate each other, fight all the time and she / you move out as soon as humanly possible. What does this give you? A great story to tell over a cold beer.
best case? You become a superhero and spend the rest of your life with the woman you love.
Think about it man. Seems win win to me. You either get a funny story for cold beer time, or become a superhero / lifelong love.

Here's another, more realistic way of looking at this. She will use him as a babysitter while she goes out to clubs looking to hook up with other guys. Maybe if she's lucky she'll bring a few guys back to his place and nail them there. And she naturally won't have money for food or rent so she'll be living off him. Wow, sounds like a lot of fun to me.

Have some self respect and don't put yourself in a bad situation.

This is VERBATIM what I was going to post. Don't do it under any circumstances!!!!!!! BTW, LMAO @ the 128-point red, blinking font!

 

[jayglick]

keep 2 places!

 

[lightpants]

NO

 

[Shockwave]

Originally posted by: PG

Originally posted by: Shockwave
You guys are being to hasty. Theres obviously emotions and feelings there.
by letting her move in, yes, you will have a ton of changes. But the flip side? You may VERY well like it. being a father is more then babysitting. Its being Superman. Spiderman. He-Man. Literally, YOU become a superhero. And your that superhero EVERY DAY.
Also, this could become not only the relationship of your life, but also the woman you spend your life with.

Thus, i say go for it. Its a new adventure. A change from the old. Worst case scenraio? It doesnt work out, you hate each other, fight all the time and she / you move out as soon as humanly possible. What does this give you? A great story to tell over a cold beer.
best case? You become a superhero and spend the rest of your life with the woman you love.
Think about it man. Seems win win to me. You either get a funny story for cold beer time, or become a superhero / lifelong love.

Here's another, more realistic way of looking at this. She will use him as a babysitter while she goes out to clubs looking to hook up with other guys. Maybe if she's lucky she'll bring a few guys back to his place and nail them there. And she naturally won't have money for food or rent so she'll be living off him. Wow, sounds like a lot of fun to me.

Have some self respect and don't put yourself in a bad situation.

Well, at least we've moved from being hasty to being pessimistic.

 

[Shockwave]

oh yeah, I also bet you guys have stories no better then
"So in Coutner Striek last night I was outnumbered 6 to 1 and...."
Remind me never to drink beer with YOU guys!

 

[MazerRackham]

Does she not have any money or something?? She should find her own place. Don't do it dude!!!!! It sounds very bad to me..... pretty soon you'll be picking up her kid from school and taking her to ballet, while the mom is off somewhere else boning the poolboy.... RUN RUN STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!!