let it fall

[Sinsear]

And you said you had a chance to go last night; you definitely missed out on something good; maybe she'll send you pics?

 

[D22]

Sixone: You better believe that if we got exclusive this would not be acceptable for a FIRST time...Because it is pretty simple, if the shoe was on the other foot, she wouldn't like it either. It's not like this is rocket science.

But yea, I feel guilty for not going. I was NOT specifically invited though, but she had mentioned it briefly a little over a week ago (maybe we can get an extra ticket) The thing is, I thought I had a few more hours to decide, then she suddenly dissapeared off messenger and I didn't know what to do. If I had spontaneously asked in the morning to go to help her tolerate it better etc, I know I could have gone, but if she really wanted me to come it was as simple as saying, "are you coming or not", etc. I am recovering from a broken foot though, and had mentioned resting it also. (I don't have a cast on anymore, but I walk w/ a limp for like 2 more weeks)

Chess match strategically I should have made sure I went, I made a blunder, period. Using just a "treat people how you would like to be" Golden Rule, I shouldn't have had to worry if this was meant to be. That is why I say, maybe this is a blessing in the long haul...maybe I will never find out...

 

[NanoStuff]

Originally posted by: D22
we went to church last sunday together

Why didn't you say so sooner? This puts it all together. You bonk her before marriage, god gets angry and turns her into a venturing slut.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: D22
Sixone: You better believe that if we got exclusive this would not be acceptable for a FIRST time...Because it is pretty simple, if the shoe was on the other foot, she wouldn't like it either. It's not like this is rocket science.

But yea, I feel guilty for not going. I was NOT specifically invited though, but she had mentioned it briefly a little over a week ago (maybe we can get an extra ticket) The thing is, I thought I had a few more hours to decide, then she suddenly dissapeared off messenger and I didn't know what to do. If I had spontaneously asked in the morning to go to help her tolerate it better etc, I know I could have gone, but if she really wanted me to come it was as simple as saying, "are you coming or not", etc. I am recovering from a broken foot though, and had mentioned resting it also. (I don't have a cast on anymore, but I walk w/ a limp for like 2 more weeks)

Chess match strategically I should have made sure I went, I made a blunder, period. Using just a "treat people how you would like to be" Golden Rule, I shouldn't have had to worry if this was meant to be. That is why I say, maybe this is a blessing in the long haul...maybe I will never find out...

I think you did the right thing. You can't be watching over her 24/7, and you shouldn't have to. Better to find out now than six months or a year down the road.

 

[shabby]

Gang bang ftw!

 

[Spineshank]

This looks bad but im sure shell have some excuse.

 

[EKKC]

 

[EKKC]

omg what a ****

 

[Scarpozzi]

Question: How many times have you called her since she left last night?

Because if it's more than once, it may make YOU look bad.

 

[D22]

This is why I love all you guys here...Since I want to be in love, let me just say I love all of you...LOL.

You guys are making me LMAO w/ these comments. "Gang bang FTW", etc. Sometimes you have to have a sense of humor about the crazy ****** in life. I mean, life is too short...

If it is the worse, then damn clubbing tonight would be a great dose of medicine, but I can't dance right now! DAMNIT! I did just buy a nice new shirt though, I mean I feel confident, I know I look good, etc., but I'm still a gimp..

Keep em' coming guys lol.
I only called ONCE at like 11:00 am...

 

[NanoStuff]

Originally posted by: Gnrslash4life
This looks bad but im sure shell have some excuse.

Of course she will have an excuse, you think she will just come home and spark a conversation about how much fun she had having lots of sex?

 

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: r6ashih
call her a hundred times. Pester her. Leave lots of text msgs. Leave lots of Vm's. Call another hundred times.

Yeah, that works....:laugh:

 

[shabby]

Dont call her again, going out clubbing with out her and if she asks, you were in a gang bang with 3 girls... fair is fair

 

[Pepsi90919]

where is the update?? it says update in the title but no update in the OP

 

[D22]

My bad, just put the post in the OP

 

[Dark4ng3l]

Unfortunately you should probably expect the worst.

 

[MisterJackson]

Okay dude, listen up.

Odds are you got played, period. Now of course there's a chance you didn't, but it's a small chance.

Think of it this way....she was "guilt tripped" into going?!?! WTF kind of excuse is that, and what kind of man are you for buying it. No, I shouldn't say that about you, I understand why you're buying it, been there, done that.

Her pulling that card was her way of saying "Look, I know what I'm doing is making you uncomfortable so instead of saying I'm just going because I want to I'll shift the blame so if the sh1t hits the fan later I can use that as an excuse to not be held responsible.".

It's passive aggresive BS man, pure an simple. If she truly didn't want to go she wouldn't have. Based on what info you've given it's clear to me that she really wanted to go all along but that she likely thought to herself "If I tell him that it'll likely hurt him.".

As for you going/not going, let that crap go. As someone earlier said, you can't be with her 24/7, so going with her to "keep something from happening" isn't going to do jack squat. Even if you'd gone and blocked something there will ALWAYS be a next time, and you won't be there every time. Besides, it really shows you don't trust her. If you think about it you're going would have been for motives other than that of what you told her you were going for and that is deception whether you chose to agree with me or not.

Oh, and if she wanted you to go she would have found a way to make that happen, but she didn't. that right there speaks volumes.

I have a very good friend who I dated about a year ago or so. We've remained close friends ever since and she calls me3-4 times a week. She's dating right now and has been with this guy for a few months. Before him she'd go hang out with me if I asked her to. Now, from the very start of her relationship w this new guy, if I ask her out as strictly a friend she'll either invite him along or decline. I don't like him for the simple reason I think he's not good enough for her (25 year old stoner slacker living with his mom and no drive or ambition to even get a basic job, and she's a very driven person) so I always say "No, leave him and come hang out with me/us.". I've done my best to "guilt trip' her into coming out without him and she just won't do it, which was rather unexpected. Whether I like this guy or not is irrelevant, what's relevant is my admiration and respect for her for sticking to her principles and not wanting to cause harm in her relationship. No matter how much longer I've known her before this guy she's with, the simple fact is she's WITH him and she doesn't want to do something that would make him uncomfortable.

The odd thing is, she's pretty sure she won't be with him much longer (her own commitment issues/ she knows he's not "the one"/ she realizes he has no drive or ambition to better himself). Yet as long as she's with him she'll treat him with this respect. That's fvcking rare nowadays.

I have mad respect for this girl now as a result.

I guess the point to all my babbling is this.....here's what I'd do:

Say "Look babe, you know I really like you and I really would like for our relationship to start heading in a more commited manner. I think you want that too. (now assuming she does, go on) So I just want to be clear that I want to trust you in the future, and I do now (which you really don't, but I suppose a little white lie here won't hurt) but if we're going to "get serious" I need to tell you I'm going to have a hard time dealing with situations like last night."

Gauge her reaction from there. If she says she's not giving that sort of thing up, or bringing you along every time in the future then it's up to you to decide to stay or walk. If I were in your shoes I'd tell her (assuming she says she's not giving anything like that up) "Well, I'm going to have to ask that we just remain friends then.", and STICK to that. There's a good chance she'll walk away and not come back. If she does, she didn't really want you that bad in the first place. However, if you offer her something(s) that she decides she just can't live without/or adores about you, then she WILL be back, relatively soon.

Sorry for being long winded, I'm stuck at work today and don't want to be. Anyway, I hope at least a few of my words help you dude, good luck!

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: D22
You guys are making me LMAO w/ these comments. "Gang bang FTW", etc. Sometimes you have to have a sense of humor about the crazy ****** in life. I mean, life is too short...

It means you probably won't hear back from her until Monday morning. Sunday night at the very earliest.

 

[Scarpozzi]

Good. Don't call her until this afternoon and act like it was no big deal.....Trust me man, it's better to show her that you trust her.

If you haven't had the talk, she might feel she can do whatever and go out with guys. Even though it may seem wrong to you, don't act like it bothers you. She'll pick up on the jealousy if you do... Just plan to get together and do something as soon as possible to move on past this.

BTW...have the talk BEFORE Valentines. Don't WAIT until that day or after. Do it Sunday at the latest. Trust me.

 

[bctbct]

If shes Catholic go to church tomm. and see how long confession takes, that will be your answer.

 

[Sinsear]

I think we could come up with more conclusive and better informed answers to your dilemma with :camera:'s.

 

[ballmode]

She has something to hide if she hasn't called yet.

 

[doze]

Originally posted by: D22
The 11:20 Update

Yeah, her phone is most definitely off...I just left a very laid back message jokingly saying that I was checking if she was alive and that I hope she had fun and to give me a call about our plans this afternoon whenever she can...

It is now 11:15 AM...BTW, yes we have been sleeping together frequently, which is WHY I said I don't believe she should sleep with anyone else even if we aren't technically exclusive yet. It is a health issue, and if she did do it, then she should tell me whether she regrets it or not...That's my rule, I don't sleep with multiple people at the same time and I expect the same honestly...even outside of the health issue to me it's just not classy and I won't do it.

For those who are saying to be careful about being overly possessive, you just would have to be in my shoes. She throws a million compliments my way about how great of a guy I am, we went to church last sunday together, everything was aligning to say "let's be exclusive". But hey, I this is the price you pay for not having walls up. And no matter what happens, I'm going to leave my heart open for the next girl (if necessary). What is the point in playing the game if you rig it to the point no one can win?

don't get all emo, if she got plastered last night she's probably still sleeping

 

[skywhr]

its 12:30 now what?

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: doze

Originally posted by: D22
The 11:20 Update

Yeah, her phone is most definitely off...I just left a very laid back message jokingly saying that I was checking if she was alive and that I hope she had fun and to give me a call about our plans this afternoon whenever she can...

It is now 11:15 AM...BTW, yes we have been sleeping together frequently, which is WHY I said I don't believe she should sleep with anyone else even if we aren't technically exclusive yet. It is a health issue, and if she did do it, then she should tell me whether she regrets it or not...That's my rule, I don't sleep with multiple people at the same time and I expect the same honestly...even outside of the health issue to me it's just not classy and I won't do it.

For those who are saying to be careful about being overly possessive, you just would have to be in my shoes. She throws a million compliments my way about how great of a guy I am, we went to church last sunday together, everything was aligning to say "let's be exclusive". But hey, I this is the price you pay for not having walls up. And no matter what happens, I'm going to leave my heart open for the next girl (if necessary). What is the point in playing the game if you rig it to the point no one can win?

don't get all emo, if she got hammered last night she's probably still sleeping

:Q