Originally posted by: D22
Scenerio: The girl I have been seeing for about a month is going out to a fight night w/ three guy friends. How serious are we? Well, let's just say I would consider it pretty wrong for her to sleep with someone else right now even though I was planning "that exclusive talk" for today or tomorrow.
Turns out the fight night is at a club. One of the guys I know was interested in her even though she made a point to tell me she wasn't into him and was acting like she was trying to get out of going all day until the 2 male friends guilt-tripped her into going. This girl is religious and again, gave me all the signs that "the talk" would be appropriate at this juncture...
Bottom line: While technically she still doesn't "owe me" anything, this is an impression I would go out of my way to avoid if I was ready to make a relationship exclusive. Yea, she could have been a passenger, left her phone at home, and slept on the couch somewhere, but anyway you cut it this makes you look BAD. She is 3 years older than me, so not like she doesn't know this...
What do I do? Pretend nothing happened and continue to go buy my flowers and give her "the talk" and use her reaction to figure out what happened last night? Ask her straight up? Hint around it and ask ambiguously and just see what she decides to reveal?
And to just think I could have went too if I had asked, but I wanted to give her some space since we had been all over each other the last few weeks. I guess if something happened, it's better to find out now and hurt a little instead of A WHOLE LOT later...I really like this girl, and I certainly THINK I know her. I always fall in love too quickly, even though I wouldn't give it QUITE that status yet.
My Instinct: Assume the worst - I would NOT have allowed myself to let this scenerio happen, no if's and's or but's about it...
The 11:20 Update
Yeah, her phone is most definitely off...I just left a very laid back message jokingly saying that I was checking if she was alive and that I hope she had fun and to give me a call about our plans this afternoon whenever she can...
It is now 11:15 AM...BTW, yes we have been sleeping together frequently, which is WHY I said I don't believe she should sleep with anyone else even if we aren't technically exclusive yet. It is a health issue, and if she did do it, then she should tell me whether she regrets it or not...That's my rule, I don't sleep with multiple people at the same time and I expect the same honestly...even outside of the health issue to me it's just not classy and I won't do it.
For those who are saying to be careful about being overly possessive, you just would have to be in my shoes. She throws a million compliments my way about how great of a guy I am, we went to church last sunday together, everything was aligning to say "let's be exclusive". But hey, I this is the price you pay for not having walls up. And no matter what happens, I'm going to leave my heart open for the next girl (if necessary). What is the point in playing the game if you rig it to the point no one can win?