let it fall

[her209]

Originally posted by: D22
EDIT - her209 - she doesn't have my number memorized, if her phone was dead she wouldn't be able to call me..

EDIT #2 - I won't see her tonight, but tomorrow we are going to church...stay tuned.

Since you two go to the same church, I will assume that you have mutual acquaintances. From your OP, One of the guys I know was interested in her even though she made a point to tell me she wasn't into him and was acting like she was trying to get out of going all day until the 2 male friends guilt-tripped her into going.

 

[zerocool84]

well seeing as you guys are not together, she has no commitment to you so she can sleep around with as many guys as she wants and she doesnt have to call you or see you at all and you saying you always fall in love too fast is kinda of interesting because it explains that since you guys have only been seeing each other for a month, you are already tripping over her not calling/seeing you one night. just relax and try not to get crazy with women so fast because this is what is going to happen to you for the rest of your life. best thing to do with a woman is to ignore them for at least a day or two, especially on the weekends and just say that you were busy with work/friends, something that sounds important.

 

[imported_Mike]

Sounds like you're way more into her then she is into you.

 

[Tuktuk]

Originally posted by: zerocool84
well seeing as you guys are not together, she has no commitment to you so she can sleep around with as many guys as she wants and she doesnt have to call you or see you at all and you saying you always fall in love too fast is kinda of interesting because it explains that since you guys have only been seeing each other for a month, you are already tripping over her not calling/seeing you one night. just relax and try not to get crazy with women so fast because this is what is going to happen to you for the rest of your life. best thing to do with a woman is to ignore them for at least a day or two, especially on the weekends and just say that you were busy with work/friends, something that sounds important.

She has no commitment but that doesn't mean she can go around screwing other guys without him getting upset over it. If I start seeing a girl, and we're hanging out often and having sex and otherwise showing general interest in eachother, I do not expect her to screw other guys. That isn't cool at all and I'd stop talking to her if it happened. I wouldn't freak out and call her a cheater I'd just recoginize her as someone with different values and move on.

I mean how the hell are you ever supposed to start a serious relationship if both of you are fvcking other people the entire time? Just the fact that she needs to fvck more than one guy in a month lets me know she isn't for me.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: Tuktuk
She has no commitment but that doesn't mean she can go around screwing other guys without him getting upset over it. If I start seeing a girl, and we're hanging out often and having sex and otherwise showing general interest in eachother, I do not expect her to screw other guys. That isn't cool at all and I'd stop talking to her if it happened. I wouldn't freak out and call her a cheater I'd just recoginize her as someone with different values and move on.

I mean how the hell are you ever supposed to start a serious relationship if both of you are fvcking other people the entire time? Just the fact that she needs to fvck more than one guy in a month lets me know she isn't for me.

You need to let go of that mentatlity.

"hanging out and screwing" does not mean you are in a relationship. It simply means you are hanging out (meaning you both don't have anything better to do) and screwing.

How are you ever to let go of that? Learn how to love a woman. It has nothing to do with sex.

 

[Tuktuk]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: Tuktuk
She has no commitment but that doesn't mean she can go around screwing other guys without him getting upset over it. If I start seeing a girl, and we're hanging out often and having sex and otherwise showing general interest in eachother, I do not expect her to screw other guys. That isn't cool at all and I'd stop talking to her if it happened. I wouldn't freak out and call her a cheater I'd just recoginize her as someone with different values and move on.

I mean how the hell are you ever supposed to start a serious relationship if both of you are fvcking other people the entire time? Just the fact that she needs to fvck more than one guy in a month lets me know she isn't for me.

You need to let go of that mentatlity.

"hanging out and screwing" does not mean you are in a relationship. It simply means you are hanging out (meaning you both don't have anything better to do) and screwing.

How are you ever to let go of that? Learn how to love a woman. It has nothing to do with sex.

I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. I know "hanging out and screwing" doesn't equal a relationship, but when you get down to it that is what happens in the beginning of a relationship. Yes there are other factors involved but I was just putting it simply. What I mean is, I don't agree with some of the posters here who seem to think in the beginning of a relationship its okay to screw other people. Just because it isn't official yet doesn't mean you're free to fvck anyone, it takes a certain commitment just to "test the waters" and see if you're prepared to be in a relationship with that person, if at all. If you can't even keep from screwing other people for a month then obviously the relationship won't become serious and people like the OP, who seems to be looking for something serious, are better off looking elsewhere.

 

[D22]

We don't go to the same church....I am not even religious, I just do what I do when I am crazy about someone. If you want to get technical I am an atheist, but you better believe I will be touching the holy water and making the sign of the trinity tomorrow. We don't have mutual friends or anything, but hey, this is me, this is what I do when I care....

 

[Injury]

Originally posted by: D22
We don't go to the same church....I am not even religious, I just do what I do when I am crazy about someone. If you want to get technical I am an atheist, but you better believe I will be touching the holy water and making the sign of the trinity tomorrow. We don't have mutual friends or anything, but hey, this is me, this is what I do when I care....

Okay, now we know you're just ****** obsessive and this girl probably stopped caring about a relationship with you about 2 weeks ago. Maybe you should resort to hiring a prostitue, rather than faking religious beliefs to try and get some.

 

[Anghang]

Originally posted by: Injury

Originally posted by: D22
We don't go to the same church....I am not even religious, I just do what I do when I am crazy about someone. If you want to get technical I am an atheist, but you better believe I will be touching the holy water and making the sign of the trinity tomorrow. We don't have mutual friends or anything, but hey, this is me, this is what I do when I care....

Okay, now we know you're just ****** obsessive and this girl probably stopped caring about a relationship with you about 2 weeks ago. Maybe you should resort to hiring a prostitue, rather than faking religious beliefs to try and get some.

:thumbsup:

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: D22
We don't go to the same church....I am not even religious, I just do what I do when I am crazy about someone. If you want to get technical I am an atheist, but you better believe I will be touching the holy water and making the sign of the trinity tomorrow. We don't have mutual friends or anything, but hey, this is me, this is what I do when I care....

Jebus, and to think I tried to help you.

No wonder she want's to get rid of your ass.

Last bit of advice - a women that doesn't want you will do things to make you get rid of her. That way she isn't a bad person.

 

[compuwiz1]

Originally posted by: D22
We don't go to the same church....I am not even religious, I just do what I do when I am crazy about someone. If you want to get technical I am an atheist, but you better believe I will be touching the holy water and making the sign of the trinity tomorrow. We don't have mutual friends or anything, but hey, this is me, this is what I do when I care....

Man, are you fvcking kidding me? It's sad you have to pretend to be religious, to get with this girl. You, sir, are a fake, and if you're that dishonest, how could you ever be in a trusting relationship?
Actually, it sounds like you both deserve each other, as neither one is honest.

 

[Tuktuk]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: D22
We don't go to the same church....I am not even religious, I just do what I do when I am crazy about someone. If you want to get technical I am an atheist, but you better believe I will be touching the holy water and making the sign of the trinity tomorrow. We don't have mutual friends or anything, but hey, this is me, this is what I do when I care....

Jebus, and to think I tried to help you.

No wonder she want's to get rid of your ass.

Last bit of advice - a women that doesn't want you will do things to make you get rid of her. That way she isn't a bad person.

Ha.. I fell the same way now.

You're right with that last comment.. the funny thing is, those things they do end up being worse then whatever would have made them a bad person to begin with.

 

[D22]

You guys are getting it twisted... I have an OPEN MIND...I have my reasons for currently being atheist. I am NOT fronting for this girl. If being religious is important to her, then it is important to me. Will I convert overnight? Hell no! Talk about dishonest...But will I listen to the preacher and give it a chance? YES! Stop being so judgmental. When I get a view I don't close my mind to all other views. I am willing to adapt and change, but I won't sell out and fake it. If I honestly start to believe the religion, only THEN will I convert...WTH is so wrong with that?

 

[kmrivers]

shens?

 

[xtknight]

I know I'm going to get a virtual ass kicking for saying this but converting for sex = no no.

 

[Tuktuk]

Originally posted by: D22
You guys are getting it twisted... I have an OPEN MIND...I have my reasons for currently being atheist. I am NOT fronting for this girl. If being religious is important to her, then it is important to me. Will I convert overnight? Hell no! Talk about dishonest...But will I listen to the preacher and give it a chance? YES! Stop being so judgmental. When I get a view I don't close my mind to all other views. I am willing to adapt and change, but I won't sell out and fake it. If I honestly start to believe the religion, only THEN will I convert...WTH is so wrong with that?

You are an atheist, and you have your reasons for it. You start screwing some girl for a month a suddenly you're going to church, "[giving] it a chance." Take a long hard look in the mirror, you're making a fool of yourself for this girl and chances are she knows it. People don't respect someone who changes for them.

Think of it this way.. you start dating a girl. She's never really listened to Led Zeppelin, Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, etc. before. So you play it in your car and suddenly she is the biggest fan of all of them, to the point where she plays Sweet Home Alabama all the time in her car and ruins the song. I broke up with a girl over this, as sad as that sounds, because everything I did she was suddenly a huge fan of. Hunting is awesome, travelling is so cool, Hemingway is the best writer (she never read), etc. See the similarity with what you're doing?

 

[Descartes]

Yikes. I read threads like this and have a hard time fathoming how people deal with such nonsense on a regular basis. Why even waste your time? Why lie about the religious thing? Why not just be open and tell the woman what you think. If she accepts, fine; if not, fine. Leaving ambiguities in the relationship will only surface later.

That's just my opinion of course. Games like these seem immature and a waste of time.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: D22
You guys are getting it twisted... I have an OPEN MIND...I have my reasons for currently being atheist. I am NOT fronting for this girl. If being religious is important to her, then it is important to me. Will I convert overnight? Hell no! Talk about dishonest...But will I listen to the preacher and give it a chance? YES! Stop being so judgmental. When I get a view I don't close my mind to all other views. I am willing to adapt and change, but I won't sell out and fake it. If I honestly start to believe the religion, only THEN will I convert...WTH is so wrong with that?

How can you claim to be an atheist if you haven't already explored the various religious possibilities?

 

[D22]

OMG, tuktuk, I actually started listening to sweet home alabama just last week! lol...wow how bizarre.

But let's tihnk about this for a minute...Ever heard the saying that marriage is all about compromise? I am not getting married, but every LTR I am in right now I consider that point since I am looking to settle down. I look at things as a partnership from the very beginning. If I waste a few minutes of my time, oh well. I am willing to give up myself for someone, and they can either take that as pathetic or sweet, and maybe that will determine if we are compatible or not. But I am a very determined individual in other facets of my life that makes me look not so pathetic. Sure, relationships are my weakness, but to some it would be interpreted as a bonus. I just know that when I care about someone I will go above and beyond, and that includes accepting their church, their music, and their interests...

EDIT - descartes: My mom was a crazy southern babtist, and I am not even going to give a clif's on this, just let me promise you it would make a prophet of God an atheist /story

 

[Tuktuk]

Originally posted by: D22
OMG, tuktuk, I actually started listening to sweet home alabama just last week! lol...wow how bizarre.

But let's tihnk about this for a minute...Ever heard the saying that marriage is all about compromise? I am not getting married, but every LTR I am in right now I consider that point since I am looking to settle down. I look at things as a partnership from the very beginning. If I waste a few minutes of my time, oh well. I am willing to give up myself for someone, and they can either take that as pathetic or sweet, and maybe that will determine if we are compatible or not. But I am a very determined individual in other facets of my life that makes me look not so pathetic. Sure, relationships are my weakness, but to some it would be interpreted as a bonus. I just know that when I care about someone I will go above and beyond, and that includes accepting their church, their music, and their interests...

A compromise isn't accepting their church, their music, their interests. These things should already be compatible (not necessarily matching) when you get together. A give and take may take place, simply because you had never before been introduced to some of their music or interests.

The term compromise that people throw around for long term relationships is more of how you two end up dealing with eachother. Things like your situation with her guy friends, what the rules are for that, which you both settle on after an argument about it. The ability to get pissed off and fix it by finding a middle ground, that is compromise. You have this concept backwards.

Basically your attitude is 'any girl who has an interest in me, I'll do whatever she wants and try as hard as I can do be like her so she will accept me.' That is a terrible attitude. When a girl first gets interested in you, she likes you for YOU, so don't go changing! Second, that opens you up to being used or simply creating a false relationship that is based off of you being somebody you are not. The real you will eventually come out, and you can't depend on that fact that you're already together to save you then.

With the attitude you have now you are fscked if a long term relationship is what you want. Y

 

[mercanucaribe]

You believe that kakameme story?

 

[MisterJackson]

Without saying one way or the other that you're wrong on the religon issue I can say with some certainty that your past relationships probably haven't lasted long and have all ended because you smothered them.

You need to break away from this girl and all others for that matter, for a god long while and fix your thinking. If you continue to perpetuate this behavior you are only gong to continue to have relationships like this and be affected this much by it each time. I know it's hard for you to see right now, but that's likely the case and it's a very bad pattern to be in. It will likely end up with you being alone or with a girl who just tells you what you want to hear (sounds ike you may be doing some of that yourself).

As for religon in all of this, I give a girl saying she's a "religous church going girl" about as much credence as I would my dog taking a dump.

I've seen the mst die hard "straight laced church ging God fearing girls" do everything from coke after church to going bi with their husbands and the wife next door.

People are hung up on church because it's more about how THEY want to be percieved by the world, and that is NOT what church is supposed to be about.

 

[D22]

tuktuk: I see your point entirely, don't get me wrong. I just have certain qualities I see primarily, and when someone meets those, I WILL make the rest work. If someone is so intelligent they make me question things, use words I don't understand, are so affectionate they open my heart, then yea, I'll do whatever because that isn't just any girl....that is a special girl that deserves special consideration..

edit - I have been in an 2 year relationship, a 14 month living together LTR, and been engaged twice, so let's see, my relationships tend to last a long time once they start...

 

[Tuktuk]

Originally posted by: D22
tuktuk: I see your point entirely, don't get me wrong. I just have certain qualities I see primarily, and when someone meets those, I WILL make the rest work. If someone is so intelligent they make me question things, use words I don't understand, are so affectionate they open my heart, then yea, I'll do whatever because that isn't just any girl....that is a special girl that deserves special consideration..

The whole problem lies in that you see any girl that shows interest in you as a "special girl" who you are willing to change for. You WON'T make it work, as shown in this case. Relationships aren't just something that you can will to happen. If they were nobody would be posting YAGTs in the first place.

I know what its like to be blinded like you seem to be right now.. I just hope you snap out of it. Usually it takes some major heartbreak for that to happen, though.

 

[D22]

You are right in the fact that I see any girl that is hot and likes me as special, GUILTY AS CHARGED...

However: This girl has an IQ of probably 140-150, she is the first GF who is equal to me, or perhaps higher IQ than me. I score from 130-150 depending on the test. The rest of my GF's were at least 20 points below me. On top of that, she is a super snuggler just like me...