Life dilemma looming...

[Numenorean]

There's some great schools here in Colorado. No reason your GF can't go to one of them.

 

[Beev]

There's some great schools here in Colorado. No reason your GF can't go to one of them.

I agree, and actually her first pick is Arizona (where my company actually has an office as well...), but she needs to be close to her parents. That is a requirement for her and cannot be changed.

 

[Numenorean]

Why does she need to be close to her parents?

 

[Beev]

Why does she need to be close to her parents?

She wants to be. She lived near them up until she moved to Kansas about 3 years ago, and she realized she needs to be around them until she can't anymore. To be fair, they are pretty awesome.

 

[Numenorean]

I guess I'm doing it backwards. At some point I expect my parents to move out here to be around me. They have been talking about doing that.

 

[crashtestdummy]

I don't quite see why you not moving with her would prevent her from going to school. You took out loans for school, she could too if it's really that critical to her.

In the end, though, I don't think this is a problem any of us can solve for you (as much as we'd like to). It comes down to what you see in the relationship with the GF. Would you rather be in a place you love with a job you love, or with the person you love? If you go to Denver, you'll probably enjoy your job and the location a lot more, but there's a very good chance the relationship won't survive the separation. There would be no end in sight to the amount of time you would spend apart. Just make sure that if you do move with her to FL that you don't end up blaming here subconsciously for job/location dissatisfaction. I wish you luck in making a tough decision.

 

[Beev]

I don't quite see why you not moving with her would prevent her from going to school. You took out loans for school, she could too if it's really that critical to her.

In the end, though, I don't think this is a problem any of us can solve for you (as much as we'd like to). It comes down to what you see in the relationship with the GF. Would you rather be in a place you love with a job you love, or with the person you love? If you go to Denver, you'll probably enjoy your job and the location a lot more, but there's a very good chance the relationship won't survive the separation. There would be no end in sight to the amount of time you would spend apart. Just make sure that if you do move with her to FL that you don't end up blaming here subconsciously for job/location dissatisfaction. I wish you luck in making a tough decision.

She's stubborn and doesn't want to end up "like me." It definitely sucks to have student loan debt.

We've also talked about it and decided that if we don't both go to Orlando that we will just break it off when we move. At least then it would end mutually and on good terms where we could stay friends and talk on facebook or something. I'm very thankful for the advice I've received in this thread, but I know I have to make the decision myself.

Denver Pros:
More fun location (imo)
Seemingly better career growth
Not blazing hot half the year

Denver Cons:
No girlfriend
No friends
No family

Honestly, those two latter cons aren't a big deal because I'm a loner anyway.

Orlando Pros:
Stay with girlfriend
Beaches
No snow driving (I love snow, but I hate driving in it when it's bad)

Orlando Cons:
Too hot too often
Extremely terrible drivers (may exist in Denver, too)
No friends
No family

Both situations are assuming I get a job with my current company, and both are equally appealing to me

 

[Numenorean]

Honestly they really do keep roads cleared well here. There are usually only a few bad days a year where the snow is a driving problem. If it's seriously bad, your work is likely closed for the day anyway and it doesn't matter. The drivers here aren't terrible though there are your share of people off in ditches that drive to fast in winter weather. There are also a ton of rubberneckers. Seriously I25 slows to a crawl for no reason sometimes - often just because there is a CSP with lights on on the OTHER side of the highway that just pulled over a speeder. But it's nowhere near as bad as somewhere like LA. Unless you get stuck in the worst ski traffic coming back into Denver on I70. That sucks just because there is no other way to get through but sit there.

There are a ton of things to do in Colorado. I don't care for beaches so that wouldn't affect my choice.

Have you talked about her going to school there and then seeing what happens? Although what happens is she likely meets some other guy in school and you lose out, but anyway.

Tough choice though. I wouldn't want to move to Florida - I just cannot stand that kind of heat all summer. At least here if it's too hot I'll just drive up to the mountains and go camping for a few days.

If you move to Florida you have your GF, but what if you hate it there? Orlando and Denver are both bigger than Lenexa though haha. I don't care for living right in huge cities. One thing about Colorado that I really like is that people are very friendly here overall.

 

[Beev]

What is Englewood like? That is where the office "in" Denver is.

I'm afraid that she'll meet someone at school, too, but my self esteem isn't that great. She values intelligence, and while I'm a smart person, I don't have the extended knowledge in the fields she loves that she finds attractive, so the pessimist in me sees her meeting someone smart in her classes.

 

[Numenorean]

What is Englewood like? That is where the office "in" Denver is.

I'm afraid that she'll meet someone at school, too, but my self esteem isn't that great. She values intelligence, and while I'm a smart person, I don't have the extended knowledge in the fields she loves that she finds attractive, so the pessimist in me sees her meeting someone smart in her classes.

Pretty typical city for here - it's "in" Denver metro area. Near the DTC (Denver Tech Center). You could live farther away closer to mountains and not have too far of a commute, lots of options for where you want to live. Light Rail service is pretty good, though I'm not sure where exactly the closest one to there is, but there are good transportation options.

It's a bit large for my tastes but that's up to the person. There's tons of things to do in Denver - all the major sports, dining, theater, etc. Typical of a big city. There's a lot of microbreweries here in CO if you like craft beers etc.

A lot of people have the misconception that CO is ridiculously cold and snowy all winter. We actually have one of the highest number of sunny days. It does get cold, but usually there is a break in there for a day or two where it warms up, etc.

I don't really know what direction you should take with your GF though. Hard to really say since I don't know either of you.

I just know that I really enjoy CO and there is a wide variety of things to do.

 

[TanisHalfElven]

i'd move to orlando... But not plan on settling there. I mean, don't get stuck if GF doesn't work out. you can get as good a job in orlando, but it seems like you really like this person. That could mean a lot in the long run.

 

[dealmaster00]

Out of everything that you said, I think that was the most important.

Jobs come and go, but good people are in short supply these days.

My opinion, having a good partner is better then having a good job. Money and jobs come and go, but your partner is there day after day, year after year.

this.

 

[lxskllr]

Florida wouldn't be an option for me. I wouldn't move there for love, or money. It's hot as balls, boringly flat, and the native culture isn't. I say you split the difference, and go to Washington :^D

 

[Beev]

We went to her parents' the first week of February for vacation, and the people terrify me, and the drivers more so. I hate it and the only reason I would live there is for her.

 

[lxskllr]

We went to her parents' the first week of February for vacation, and the people terrify me, and the drivers more so. I hate it and the only reason I would live there is for her.

Dude, if you hate it, don't go. I don't know how much you hate it, but I hate it enough where I'd go to bed at night depressed, and leave the house angry every day. NOTHING is worth that. Odds are you're going to break up with this chick in the not that distant future. You can say what you want about that, but that's where I'd put my money. That leaves you stuck in a shit hole(maybe really stuck cause of work), and no girl. If your core environment isn't acceptable, than nothing else can make up for it. Home, and the area surrounding home is the first priority. Everything else is just small positives and negatives that affect the core experience.

 

[lupi]

So you're deciding on florida solely to be close to the temporary kittycat?

 

[Rill22]

Denver. I'm biased though, I like it here. We have good beer, I'll buy you one.

 

[gotsmack]

So my life is going to drastically change within the next 6 months, and it's causing me a great deal of stress. Since I'm not a very stressed person in general I feel like it is affecting me too much.

I posted before about how my (and others) position is being moved to Denver. They finally gave us a date: June 15. Upon learning that I thought it sounded like as good a time as any to get the hell out of Kansas (it's not terrible, but I don't particularly like it here). My lease is up at the end of September, and my girlfriend is moving back to south Florida because her parents are there, and she wants to be near them.

We both decided that I can just move with her because my company has a huge office in Orlando. The problem is I didn't know what to do for a job for the three months between June and September. My company is offering me severance, but if I take it I can't work for the company again for X period of time. My alternative was to take a temp position here in my current office doing work that I used to do here four years ago. It was a fantastic plan. I have my current position until 6/15 and then I do old grunt work for three months, then move to Orlando and get a new position still with the company (I've been talking to a recruiter down there).

Now they are only guaranteeing my temp position until July 1, a mere 16 days longer than my other job. They say I might be able to stay longer, but the guarantee is only until July 1, so I'm assuming (safely) that I am only staying until July 1. What should I do for the remaining three months? And to top it off, my girlfriend keeps asking if I'm sure I want to move, which makes me feel like she doesn't want me to. She says that isn't the case, and I believe her (hard to explain, but I know her thought process very well), but it still makes me uneasy.

I almost want to wash my hands of the whole situation and just move to Denver alone and keep my current job.

Move to Denver. Orlando isn't that great of an area.

You'll get a new girlfriend. Women are all over the place.

 

[Beev]

Update:

Well... damn. There ended up not being anything available for me in the Orlando office, and they filled my current position that's being moved to Denver, so on June 15th I'm done. I'll get two months of severance, though.

Now I have to decide what I should do. No matter where I am I have to hunt for a job. I don't want to stay here in Kansas, but is it worth the risk to move jobless? Kansas just isn't for me anymore so I want to leave, and this seems like a perfect opportunity to do so. I'm still looking at Denver because it's a change, but I don't know if the risk is worth it... /sigh

 

[D1gger]

Take a chance and go with your heart, which from my reading would be move to Denver and try something new.

 

[EvilYoda]

That sucks...regardless, just go for it. 2 month's severance, just don't do anything stupid.

 

[Numenorean]

That's kind of how I ended up here in CO. No job so I just came out and it worked out.

It did help that I had some good friends out here who let me stay in a spare room for free.

 

[brianmanahan]

save enough money so you dont have to work for 3 months

 

[Beev]

save enough money so you dont have to work for 3 months

I'll get my cashed out 401k. It's not much, but enough to live off of for a few months if I scrape by otherwise. I'm just really worried about finding work with the job market like it is, and with my only marketable experience being 10 years of customer service and three years of management. No one is hiring anything for such a mediocre background.

I have a great mind, and am a great worker though. It's just finding someone willing to give me that shot... Oh well, I'll think about it long and hard over the weekend. Regardless, my girlfriend is moving in September so we'll be parting ways, and that hurts.

 

[Numenorean]

PMing you.