Living together prior to marriage

[minendo]

I would like to hear experience on this topic. I do not want your beliefs thrown in here. If you do not have experience with this situation, do not post.

I am planning on living with my girlfriend next semester in a two bedroom apartment (one bedroom for my computers), but we will not be married. What is your experience and/or thoughts from experience?

 

[iamwiz82]

going on 1 and a half years with my girlfriend and all is well. I'm happy about my decision

 

[notfred]

There is no functional difference in living togther made by your marital status. I'm not married, I live with my fiancee, we share finances, make each other dinner, do everything that married couples do.

 

[mpitts]

I did it twice.

The first time I was engaged to the girl. It didn't work out and the seperation really wasn't that bad.

The second time, my wife and I got married and still are.

I can tell you this, I would NEVER marry a woman without living with her first. If I would have waited to get married before I lived with the first girl, we would have definitely gotten divorced.

 

[ATLien247]

I lived with my wife for a little over a year before we got married.

Neither of our parents liked the idea though...

 

[xospec1alk]

i dont live w/ her technicall...more like i see her everyday and sleep over at her apartment every nite...my apartment is 2 blocks away but i can't stand my roommates so i go sleep w/ her....i think its a good experience so you can get to know each other better...like rite now, i hate being apart from her because at her apt, she has no internet access...and at my apt i have my gamecube...put everything into one apartment, and i think we can grow for a long time...

i think it will be a good experience for you and ur gf

 

[Beau]

Originally posted by: notfred
There is no functional difference in living togther made by your marital status. I'm not married, I live with my fiancee, we share finances, make each other dinner, do everything that married couples do.

Did that for 3 years. Then she left & fux0red my finances.

Actually, I'd probably live with another girlfriend/fiance pre-maritally if given the chance. I'll just be very cautious about what things to mix and what not to. I will never mix finances again. I'll manage both, and give money to her, but I'll never combine again.

 

[LethalWolfe]

I've been living w/my gf for the past 3 months and we get along better now than we did before.


Lethal

 

[notfred]

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: notfred
There is no functional difference in living togther made by your marital status. I'm not married, I live with my fiancee, we share finances, make each other dinner, do everything that married couples do.

Did that for 3 years. Then she left & fux0red my finances.

That's no different than a lot of marriages.

 

[Beau]

Originally posted by: notfred

Originally posted by: Beau

Originally posted by: notfred
There is no functional difference in living togther made by your marital status. I'm not married, I live with my fiancee, we share finances, make each other dinner, do everything that married couples do.

Did that for 3 years. Then she left & fux0red my finances.

That's no different than a lot of marriages.

hehe... true, true.

 

[Vic]

Been living with my GF for almost 5 years now. For all practical purposes, we are married, we've just never done the ceremony or signed the paper. I would say though, that success in this type of relationship depends on the individuals involved in it.

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: Vic
Been living with my GF for almost 5 years now. For all practical purposes, we are married, we've just never done the ceremony or signed the paper. I would say though, that success in this type of relationship depends on the individuals involved in it.

I know that we will be successful, but her mom sent us a link of some research that shows a high divorce rate among people who live together prior to marriage. I read through all the research and see it as one sided. I feel as though the guy who writes the documents and carried out the research was screwed earlier in his life.

 

[spaceman]

been living with my girlfriend of 3 years for just about a year.....things are great


years ago i lived with an ex and the whole experience was horrendous.
I would certainly say its a good barometer to see if you can deal with marriage.(never been married,so i dunno :-/ )

 

[Kadarin]

I lived with my then g/f for about 3 years, and I agree that it's absolutely essential to do so before you get married. You don't know a person until you live with them; without doing so, you only see what they want to show you.

 

[EvilYoda]

No direct experience here, but two of my friends live together, with their SO's.....we're only college students, age 20 and 21, but both relationships are going on 2 some years now, and they've already signed the lease for next year...they're doing well, cute as hell...it's sickening to visit the apartment. But they do still have their own bedrooms, just to have that separation.

 

[Fausto]

My wife and I lived together for about 2.5 years prior to getting married. I think it's a good idea since it throws a very bright light on a lot of things that don't otherwise come up in a relationship. Stuff like financial responsibility, neatness/sloppiness, sleeping habits, etc. Cohabitation forces you to address these issues whether you like it or not which will hopefully smooth the way a bit once you actually get married. There are those who argue that this takes the "joy of discovery" out of marriage, but it's a hell of a lot better than a messy divorce after a few years of marriage once you figure out you're not really compatible after all. It was my experience that marriage is "different" than living together anyway since you do truly share everything, and this in turn affects your outlook on building a life together....in a good way.

Hopefully that makes some sense......I'm all doped up on Sudafed today (stupid cold) and feel a bit loopy. We've been married 5 happy years and counting BTW.

 

[CurtCold]

Living with my girl for about 6 months now. She bought a house, we split the costs, I help pay for the house, utilities etc, and we are doing just fine. Its really more practical for us to live together, as opposed to driving to see each other all the time, and paying seperate bills that we could be splitting. It's nice having someone to come home to, and besides we're going to get married in the Spring of 04.

Some people, who can't mind their own business have made comments about the whole "not being married", or "living in sin thing", but fvck them, their Anally religious anyway.

Go for it if you love her, and love being with her, I was sceptical at first, but am soooooo glad that we agreed to living together. Also if you have any ground rules, or something that you need to say, let it rip before you move in, so that she is aware of your habit, or what you find acceptable/not acceptable.

Finally Good Luck Do0d, it can be a great experience for you!

 

[ATLien247]

Originally posted by: Vic
Been living with my GF for almost 5 years now. For all practical purposes, we are married, we've just never done the ceremony or signed the paper. I would say though, that success in this type of relationship depends on the individuals involved in it.

Check your state's law books! Hurry! There's not much time left!

Here in Utah, under common law, you would be considered married after 5 years of living together... or so I've been told.

 

[Vortex22]

My AP Psycology book says that people who live together prior to marriage are less likely to have a successful marriage.

 

[ATLien247]

Originally posted by: Vortex22
My AP Psycology book says that people who live together prior to marriage are less likely to have a successful marriage.

Do you believe everything you read?

 

[WinkOsmosis]

Originally posted by: Vortex22
My AP Psycology book says that people who live together prior to marriage are less likely to have a successful marriage.

How do you define successful? Seems that if people wait until they are married to live together, they justify any problems they have by saying "It's supposed to be this way", since they have had no prior experience living with the person.

 

[Lola]

Honestly, this was the BEST decession i could have ever made! You really don't know someone until you live with them. At first, it was a bit difficult to live with someone elses quirks and such, but i just realized they were living with mine as well! WE clean and cook together and its someplace we both really feel is home. I couldn't go back to anything different now!
It is wonderful to have someone to talk to anytime!

PS.....Definatly get a 2 room for your computers. It is worth it not to have them in your bedroom!

 

[d33pt]

been living with my gf for 2.5 years... things have been great. we are pretty much married but just haven't done it officially yet.

 

[GoingUp]

Just so you know, living with your future spouse before marriage increases your risk of divorce.

(Learned that in my Marraige and Family socialology class)

Obviously its not true for everone but it is something to think about.

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: ActPrincess
PS.....Definatly get a 2 room for your computers. It is worth it not to have them in your bedroom!

They won't fit in a bedroom. I currently live in a four bedroom with two of my friends and the fourth room is just for the computers.