lol @ my nephew

[Compudork]

My sister was telling me what my four year old nephew said yesterday morning, I thought some of you might get a kick out of it:

"THE REVELATION"
My sister and her husband are lying in bed Sunday morning. The nephew comes in and sits with them in bed, they all chat for a while and his dad rolls over and goes back to sleep while John and my sis watch TV. After a few minutes, his dad starts snoring lightly. The nephew was watching him with an odd look on his face for a few minutes before he turned to my sister and asked: "Mommy.... is daddy Darth Vader?"

The best part is the kid has NEVER seen a star wars movie - but he does know the characters and he loves the toys.... still classic.

What do you guys got?

 

[Joemonkey]

I have a few, but the one that happened most recently with my 2yo daughter was I was trying to explain what a Doe was, and she replies with "A female BEER?"

 

[needalife]

lol

 

[se7en]

My 20month old knows full well the pleasures of being a man already. He has learned "boobie" and likes to put his finger right on them while pointing to show you he clearly knows where the money is. He's also picked up shirts only obscure his vision of said clevage and will pull the shirt either up or down to get a better view.

I would like to take credit for such a skill but I have to give my wifes ex-stripper friend all the dues there.

 

[pontifex]

My niece, Hanna, is 2.

If something doesn't work right or something similar, she says "oh man!" or she'll say "it's broken!" even if its not.

She always says she has a boo boo, even if she just lightly bumps into something

She was a princess for Halloween. I asked her if she was a princes and she says "No, I Hanna." now I ask her if she's different things just to hear her say that.

She likes to say "get away" if she's mad and you try to get near her. sometimes she'll use your name like "Get away, gramma". Whats really funny though is she'll say that to inanimate objects also liker her blanket or her stuffed monkey named George.

Her brother, carter, is than a year old and sometimes she gives him her toys. He's at the stage where he likes to put things in his mouth. when Hanna goes to take them back, they are wet and she says something like "carter icky. my toys are all wet. I have to clean them."

 

[Jeff7]

The Force is strong with this one.

He senses the power of the Dark Side.

Originally posted by: se7en
My 20month old knows full well the pleasures of being a man already. He has learned "boobie" and likes to put his finger right on them while pointing to show you he clearly knows where the money is. He's also picked up shirts only obscure his vision of said clevage and will pull the shirt either up or down to get a better view.

I would like to take credit for such a skill but I have to give my wifes ex-stripper friend all the dues there.

It'll be bad when he points and says "That's where the dollars go!"

 

[MisterJackson]

Originally posted by: se7en
My 20month old knows full well the pleasures of being a man already. He has learned "boobie" and likes to put his finger right on them while pointing to show you he clearly knows where the money is. He's also picked up shirts only obscure his vision of said clevage and will pull the shirt either up or down to get a better view.

I would like to take credit for such a skill but I have to give my wifes ex-stripper friend all the dues there.

Yeah, that's gonna be cute until he starts doing it to his teacher in preschool and you get called in for a conference

 

[se7en]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson

Yeah, that's gonna be cute until he starts doing it to his teacher in preschool and you get called in for a conference

Yeah its funny now until he does it in front of grandma or while he is at church. When that day comes it''ll all get pinned on me and I'm sure my mom will break a 2x4 over my head.

 

[altonb1]

My 4yo decided to just start singing really loud in WalMart one day. The lyrics? "Vagina Vagina Vagina...Vagina Vagina Vagina..."

Heh...good times....

 

[dougp]

Originally posted by: altonb1
My 4yo decided to just start singing really loud in WalMart one day. The lyrics? "Vagina Vagina Vagina...Vagina Vagina Vagina..."

Heh...good times....

Oh wow, that would have been hilarious!

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: altonb1
My 4yo decided to just start singing really loud in WalMart one day. The lyrics? "Vagina Vagina Vagina...Vagina Vagina Vagina..."

Heh...good times....

hahahaha wow. awesome.

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

My boss' wife brings their 3 year-old into work occasionally so they can go for lunch together. Last time, the kid was sat with the head dev in the office, playing with his calculator when the wife said "It's time for lunch now" and the kid shouted "NO! I'M WORKING!" :|

 

[robphelan]

My 4 yr old wanted to know why Mary's first name was Virgin.

 

[blazerazor]

Outside of a restaurant waiting on our party, little Josh (4yrs) seeing we both have hoodies on says to me, "Look we both have big pockets to stay warm and hold our nuts", we fall out laughing, turns out he had been picking up acorns at Moms house before we left and his pockets were full of um.

 

[robphelan]

she also busted me eating cake late one evening..

she asked "dad, what are you eating?".
I replied "medicine".
she asked "Medicine cake?".

 

[robphelan]

This is my personal favorite.

grandma was reading a book about harriet tubman, the Freedom Trail, and slavery (yeah, to my 4 yr old daughter).

later, the wife takes her to Wendy's - pulls through and wouldn't you know it, the girl at the window was african-american.

my daughter, from the back seat points and says "you're a slave!.. you know, the freedom trail!"

I was 600 miles away when this happened and almost fell out of my chair laughing when the wife tols me.

 

[thepd7]

Originally posted by: MmmSkyscraper
My boss' wife brings their 3 year-old into work occasionally so they can go for lunch together. Last time, the kid was sat with the head dev in the office, playing with his calculator when the wife said "It's time for lunch now" and the kid shouted "NO! I'M WORKING!" :|

lol. My cousin did a similar thing but she was about 6 years old. Her dad (my Uncle) is one of 3 partners who own a small business.

So my cousin goes into the office, grabs my Uncle's business card starts going around to random employees saying: "See that! That's my Dad. He's the BOSS!"

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: robphelan
This is my personal favorite.

grandma was reading a book about harriet tubman, the Freedom Trail, and slavery (yeah, to my 4 yr old daughter).

later, the wife takes her to Wendy's - pulls through and wouldn't you know it, the girl at the window was african-american.

my daughter, from the back seat points and says "you're a slave!.. you know, the freedom trail!"

I was 600 miles away when this happened and almost fell out of my chair laughing when the wife tols me.

lol wow, that's hilarious

 

[KillerAngel]

My neighbor, who's a kindergarten teacher in a "ghetto" Spanish-speaking school, told me a couple of nice ones. Her kids speak very little, if any, English. One time during quiet time in the library, there was a line of kids waiting for something and the line wasn't moving. So this one kid who not only didn't speak a lick of English but didn't say much in general just shouted out "Move it, bitches!" in the middle of the library.

Another time during one of her classes, she found a stinky little surprise on the floor - it seems one of the kids had an accident. One of the students saw it and yelled out to the class, "OK! If you pooped on the floor, raise your hand." Ha ha.

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: MisterJackson

Originally posted by: se7en
My 20month old knows full well the pleasures of being a man already. He has learned "boobie" and likes to put his finger right on them while pointing to show you he clearly knows where the money is. He's also picked up shirts only obscure his vision of said clevage and will pull the shirt either up or down to get a better view.

I would like to take credit for such a skill but I have to give my wifes ex-stripper friend all the dues there.

Yeah, that's gonna be cute until he starts doing it to his teacher in preschool and you get called in for a conference

Heh, they'll probably register him as a sex offender for the rest of his life.

 

[Homerboy]

Hmmm so many.
Couple quickies:

Son referred to tears as "Cry Water"

When he was very little he was obsessed with clocks, though he could not pronounce the "L" so it was... well "Cock" Needless to say whenever he'd see a clock out in public (stores, church, gymnasiums... whatever) he'd start pointing and yelling "Cock!! Cock!!!" The apex was when he realized I forgot my watch (which he also called a clock) and started yelling "Daddy no cock!! Daddy no Cock!!! while in a crowded store.

There was also the "Freaking Train" story which I assure you is a classic but way too long to yep out.

 

[troytime]

dancing singing clip from lucky louie

 

[sygyzy]

Originally posted by: se7en
My 20month old knows full well the pleasures of being a man already. He has learned "boobie" and likes to put his finger right on them while pointing to show you he clearly knows where the money is. He's also picked up shirts only obscure his vision of said clevage and will pull the shirt either up or down to get a better view.

I would like to take credit for such a skill but I have to give my wifes ex-stripper friend all the dues there.

Let's hope he doesn't pick up your writing skills.