Looks like my marriage is over.

[montanafan]

Do you still love her? Have your feelings for each other changed or is it just that the marriage isn't going the way the two of you, or one of you, envisioned it?

 

[sygyzy]

I am curious how you are treating her in all this. I mean, no offense to your wife, but when you quote the things she says or does, she sounds like not a very nice person. Are you a dick to her too? Because if not, then I don't think she is worth staying with. She seems abusive.

 

[PlatinumGold]

Originally posted by: Eghck

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: sygyzy

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: sygyzy
Just curious, do you have a pre-nup?

Nah... I was broke when we met.

Now we're not broke. She said that she is willing to just let me have what is in my personal accounts and my business (which is my firm) and she'll just take her 401k. Not a bad deal for me, really.

Wait, so stuff already happened since lunch? At lunch, she just mumbled something kind of mean. Now you guys are actually planning out the divorce? Oh man, this is getting ugly fast. I always feel bad in these situations. I really hope for a happy ending where you guys stay together but at the same time, I know that might not be the best idea.

Nope. That was two weeks ago.

Last week she explained at a tailgate party that she kept her maiden name to make our divorce easier... no name change.

She can really be a peach.

That makes it sound like she planned it all along. If thats the case, I dunno if there is anything TO salvage.

how about this outlook on it, she originally didn't change her name because she expected the worst. it went better than she expected so she stayed with him for 13 yrs, now it is slowing down a bit and she wants to bail.

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: RBachman

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
The biggest irony of all is... I'm a divorce lawyer.

In that case, rot in hell.

LMFAO!!!! Kicked right in the nutz when it was down.....whoa!!!

 

[BriGy86]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: BriGy86

Originally posted by: laurenlex
I'd try and save it, but be VERY CAREFUL about this house thing. There is a possibility she is stringing you along for her financial gain when it goes to divorceville.

I love women, but they can be very devious, cunning, dangerous creatures, especially when plssed off.

:thumbsup:

i can't stress enough

look out for number one! ("number one" being yourself )

The biggest irony of all is... I'm a divorce lawyer.

If it were anyone else's marriage, I would already have a battle plan in place, and I'd be loading for bear. Funny, when it is MY marriage, I guess I'm less willing to go to the mattresses.

well i guess you know exactly how ugly it can get, best of luck to you

 

[Skunkwourk]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold

Originally posted by: Eghck

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: sygyzy

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: sygyzy
Just curious, do you have a pre-nup?

Nah... I was broke when we met.

Now we're not broke. She said that she is willing to just let me have what is in my personal accounts and my business (which is my firm) and she'll just take her 401k. Not a bad deal for me, really.

Wait, so stuff already happened since lunch? At lunch, she just mumbled something kind of mean. Now you guys are actually planning out the divorce? Oh man, this is getting ugly fast. I always feel bad in these situations. I really hope for a happy ending where you guys stay together but at the same time, I know that might not be the best idea.

Nope. That was two weeks ago.

Last week she explained at a tailgate party that she kept her maiden name to make our divorce easier... no name change.

She can really be a peach.

That makes it sound like she planned it all along. If thats the case, I dunno if there is anything TO salvage.

how about this outlook on it, she originally didn't change her name because she expected the worst. it went better than she expected so she stayed with him for 13 yrs, now it is slowing down a bit and she wants to bail.

well I suppose I could look at it that way, but that would just add to the pain that she was never optimistic about marriage in the first place. Kind of a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

[arcenite]

Holy crap dude, she is a peach! One of those fuzzy peaches that you ... do bad stuff to. I am really sorry to hear it dude.

 

[DevilsAdvocate]

Originally posted by: Gravity

Originally posted by: RBachman

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate
The biggest irony of all is... I'm a divorce lawyer.

In that case, rot in hell.

LMFAO!!!! Kicked right in the nutz when it was down.....whoa!!!

Nah... I've been called worse by people that actually mattered today. He can pwn me all he wants from his mother's basement.

 

[UTmtnbiker]

First off, I'd say getting advice from OT in this case would be like sticking a red hot poker up your rectum....but I assume you already took that in to consideration, and possibly enjoy searing pain along with the smell of charred flesh.

Now that you're feeling better, I'll dispense my advice...

If there's a chance for civil dialogue, take it. I do recommend counseling if both parties are willing to work on it. It helps verbalize a lot frustrations and angers in a relatively safe environment. I'm a big proponent of it as I think a lot of these kids saying "dump her" or "drop her" have yet to have a situation where they found it difficult to verbalize or communicate effectively.

You're a smart person who is obviously older than the majority of the people here. Hopefully a lot of the experiences you've had in life will help guide you to not only what is best for you financially, but also emotionally.

Also...watch the Daily Show....it always makes me feel better after a crappy day.

 

[Howard]

Good luck.

 

[dquan97]

Originally posted by: FrankyJunior
If you want it to succeed and just feel that you two aren't able to connect well, check out this book.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/bookse...serid=184C2GTCsN&isbn=1881273156&itm=2

It's really great and has helped the couples in our couples group become closer together.

Or make an appointment and see a counselor. THe sooner you realize something is wrong and seek help, the higher the chance things can be fixed and the marriage will stay together.

I agree that it's a great book...heard the author talk during a marriage conference.

 

[DevilsAdvocate]

Originally posted by: sygyzy
I am curious how you are treating her in all this. I mean, no offense to your wife, but when you quote the things she says or does, she sounds like not a very nice person. Are you a dick to her too? Because if not, then I don't think she is worth staying with. She seems abusive.

You know... I'm really not sure. She tells me that I can be cold, verbally abusive, and downright evil at times. I really don't see it. I ask for examples, and she does not give me any.

Others have told me that she is abusive, and clearly does not love me. They have suggested that I leave her, and even offered me free room and board if I'd do it.

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: sygyzy
I am curious how you are treating her in all this. I mean, no offense to your wife, but when you quote the things she says or does, she sounds like not a very nice person. Are you a dick to her too? Because if not, then I don't think she is worth staying with. She seems abusive.

You know... I'm really not sure. She tells me that I can be cold, verbally abusive, and downright evil at times. I really don't see it. I ask for examples, and she does not give me any.

Others have told me that she is abusive, and clearly does not love me. They have suggested that I leave her, and even offered me free room and board if I'd do it.

I'm glad I never got that offer...I'd have prolly taken it!!!

You got PM btw.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: sygyzy
I am curious how you are treating her in all this. I mean, no offense to your wife, but when you quote the things she says or does, she sounds like not a very nice person. Are you a dick to her too? Because if not, then I don't think she is worth staying with. She seems abusive.

You know... I'm really not sure. She tells me that I can be cold, verbally abusive, and downright evil at times. I really don't see it. I ask for examples, and she does not give me any.

Others have told me that she is abusive, and clearly does not love me. They have suggested that I leave her, and even offered me free room and board if I'd do it.

That is not good. But that doesn't mean it's a lost cause. Are you willing to try counseling?

 

[DevilsAdvocate]

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: sygyzy
I am curious how you are treating her in all this. I mean, no offense to your wife, but when you quote the things she says or does, she sounds like not a very nice person. Are you a dick to her too? Because if not, then I don't think she is worth staying with. She seems abusive.

You know... I'm really not sure. She tells me that I can be cold, verbally abusive, and downright evil at times. I really don't see it. I ask for examples, and she does not give me any.

Others have told me that she is abusive, and clearly does not love me. They have suggested that I leave her, and even offered me free room and board if I'd do it.

That is not good. But that doesn't mean it's a lost cause. Are you willing to try counseling?

Maybe... I just hate counselors.

 

[imported_Pablo]

Hey man. I talked with you on the phone a while ago about ADD. I say if you see anything in the marriage worth saving, give it your best shot.

Heart goes out to you man.

 

[QurazyQuisp]

How old are you?

If you are in your early to mid thirties... do it...

If you are 40+, seek some help.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: sixone

That is not good. But that doesn't mean it's a lost cause. Are you willing to try counseling?

Maybe... I just hate counselors.

Why?

 

[Mucho]

My two marriages together did not last 13 years, my first I have no regrets the second however, I now feel I should have try a bit harder.
Good Luck

 

[Alienwho]

Save the marriage man.

 

[SagaLore]

If the last 2 years were bad - were the first 11 years good?

 

[EatSpam]

Originally posted by: DevilsAdvocate

Originally posted by: sixone
That is not good. But that doesn't mean it's a lost cause. Are you willing to try counseling?

Maybe... I just hate counselors.

They take food off of your table if they help a married couple work it out, eh?

 

God is getting back at you for being a divorce lawyer.

 

[montanafan]

Do you still love her, or has she hurt you to the point that even though you do still love her, you don't want to anymore?

 

[Sentinel]

Yes, it is if you CAN be happy and WANT to be.