Love thy neighbor

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
All this snow and the lack of parking on the streets has really got neighbors at each others throats. I'm trying my hardest not to strangle the Serbian Bastard (like there's any other kind) that lives down the street and some Religious Nut Case Haitian bitch, lets call her Mother Tutu, was screaming at my neighbor saying she was praying to god that he had a heart attack. Fucking entitled whackjob hasn't shoveled the snow once this season yet she expects others to shovel out a spot and then let her park there when they leave for work. My buddy on the old street where I use to live has his solution, he takes his high powered pellet gun and shoots out the windows of those that steal his spot. However I'm not into fucking up peoples property even if they are assholes.

Now I thought I came up with a great solution for my parking situation. There's a foreclosed house across the street so I parked my car there right before it snowed. Well I didn't take into consideration that shoveling out a driveway was a lot more work than just digging your car out of the street. Plus I felt obligated to shovel the walkway in front of the house. Now this is were the Serbian Bastard (like there's any other kind) comes into play. The root eating genocidal neanderthal snow blows his driveway and all the snow goes into the walkway which I spent an hour digging out. I mean a six foot high pile of snow. Oh well maybe the Root Eater didn't notice that I dug out the walkway. So the next time it snows and he's out there with his snow blower I ask him if he wouldn't mind not blowing the snow onto the walkway. Fucking Vlad gets all irate and starts telling me that I was disrespecting him. Well I try to explain to him that what he's doing is actually against the law and that he could be fined $300. He says it's none of my business because I don't live or own the house and to mind my own business. The Fucker!! I mean he's right it's not my place but I was only being neighborly by digging it out so the other neighbors don't have to walk in the street. So once again I dig out the walkway which is twice as deep as it should be because the Serbian is an asshole (like there’s any other kind)

Now here I am feeling all put out because this guy is a rude bastard then I get this idea. You see the Milosevic household has more cars than will fit in his driveway so he too dug out a spot on the street for his wife to park and saves it with a chair when she's at work. So when nobody’s looking I take that chair and toss it aside which makes that parking spot free for others to use. And who do you thinks uses it? Mother Tutu!!!! Now this is the good part. When Vlad’s wife gets home she sees Mother Tutu's car parked in her spot that her husband dug out and man is she and Vlad pissed. He promptly goes over to Mother Tutus house and starts screaming at her and in return she's bringing down the wrath of God on him. It was awesome, so awesome that the Cops came and threatened to arrest them both....LOL love thy neighbor.

Oh BTW, that driveway I was digging out, well the last time I did I took off for 15 minutes and some druggy bitch from across the street promptly parked her car there and left it sitting for a week. I'm thinking of calling my buddy from the old street where I use to live and asking him for a favor.
 

rasczak

Lifer
Jan 29, 2005
10,437
22
81
hahahahaha nice. too bad you could record the whole for us to enjoy with some popcorn.
 

Nik

Lifer
Jun 5, 2006
16,101
2
56
Haha. My mind's eye sees all of this going on at FastForward with the Monty Python theme playing over top
 

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
seems like you live in a shitty part of town
Could be worse, could be in New Jersey

Actually it's not bad, like most of Boston the streets are fucked up and narrow so there's only parking on one side of the street. This Neighborhood was built around 1920 so they didn't take into consideration all the vehicle traffic and need for street parking plus the Model T's were much narrower than todays cars.
 

Sentrosi2121

Platinum Member
Aug 8, 2004
2,567
2
81
Make friends with some firefighters in your neighborhood and one night, when it's supposed to be downright freezing, soak the Serbians car with water. Make sure it's good and soaked. Overnight it turns into a huge ice cube. He won't be able to move it at all.

Mother Tutu. Make a voodoo doll of her and put it on her front porch with an icicle pushed through her head.
 

bignateyk

Lifer
Apr 22, 2002
11,288
7
0
I hate neighbors. Only another couple years until I have enough saved up to by some countryside acreage so I can ditch neighbors.

The first thing we did when we moved in to this house was build a 6' privacy fence the entire way around our back yard.
 

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
Make friends with some firefighters in your neighborhood and one night, when it's supposed to be downright freezing, soak the Serbians car with water. Make sure it's good and soaked. Overnight it turns into a huge ice cube. He won't be able to move it at all.

Mother Tutu. Make a voodoo doll of her and put it on her front porch with an icicle pushed through her head.
Yeah I'll get right on it
 

Aharami

Lifer
Aug 31, 2001
21,203
154
106
Could be worse, could be in New Jersey

Actually it's not bad, like most of Boston the streets are fucked up and narrow so there's only parking on one side of the street. This Neighborhood was built around 1920 so they didn't take into consideration all the vehicle traffic and need for street parking plus the Model T's were much narrower than todays cars.

haha touché! i actually faced similar situations when I went to college. I was always diligent and dug out my car before the snow compacted and froze, only to find someone else's car in the spot that I dug out. My solution was to go out a couple times in the middle of the night and pour water on the door seals so they freeze and get stuck. after three layers, the ice got pretty thick.
 

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
haha touché! i actually faced similar situations when I went to college. I was always diligent and dug out my car before the snow compacted and froze, only to find someone else's car in the spot that I dug out. My solution was to go out a couple times in the middle of the night and pour water on the door seals so they freeze and get stuck. after a three layers, the ice got pretty thick.

I was thinking of shoving a potato up the exhaust pipe of the gal that stole my parking spot but your solution seems a lot easier and less destructive.

Well hopefully we are done with all the heavy snow for this season, at least in the NE
 

preCRT

Platinum Member
Apr 12, 2000
2,340
123
106
The case that drove my folks out of Boston to the suburbs was the loud drunk [I believe he was Ukranian] bastard who started banging on front doors & screaming in the street at 2am, looking for the owner of the VW who took his space. My dad owned the only VW on the street, and just about every neighbor knew it. Dad only parked in that space because someone else parked in the space that dad had shoveled out.

My mom was scared shitless that some neighbor would tell the drunk that it was dad's car & the guy would be banging on our door.

The street was full of mostly triple deckers & you could only park on one side of the street during snow emergencies, never enough parking spaces in winter. It would have been worse if everyone owned a car back then, let alone two.


As for the drunk, someone called the police & they took him away. I believe his car was towed.
 

Capt Caveman

Lifer
Jan 30, 2005
34,543
651
126
Oh BTW, that driveway I was digging out, well the last time I did I took off for 15 minutes and some druggy bitch from across the street promptly parked her car there and left it sitting for a week. I'm thinking of calling my buddy from the old street where I use to live and asking him for a favor.

Very nice on the first part. Now for this, I would just backfill where the driveway and street meet with snow and let her dig it out to get out.

And stuff like this is why, I have to have offstreet parking.
 

jupiter57

Diamond Member
Nov 18, 2001
4,600
3
71
I was thinking of shoving a potato up the exhaust pipe of the gal that stole my parking spot but your solution seems a lot easier and less destructive.

Well hopefully we are done with all the heavy snow for this season, at least in the NE

No No No!
Do the potato, only take a broom handle or something similar and shove it as far as you can so that it's not easily visible.
Then they will have to have it towed to a mechanic, and he will spend an inordinate amount of time troubleshooting the problem!
When he finds it, he will surely tell them they have been "pranked"!
Maybe they will get the message.

(Neighbor across the street has been working on his car for weeks, I asked him the other day what it was doing, he stated that it would start and then die. After he told me what all he had tried, I checked the tailpipe and it was clogged with dirt where he had backed it into a ditch!)
 

zebano

Diamond Member
Jun 15, 2005
4,042
0
0
For once, I'm glad I live in Iowa. Most neighbors have crappy single-stage snowblowers that work most of the time but not in the big blizzards. One neighbor keeps a good snowblower running and another uses it to snowblow 8-10 driveways every time it snows. I keep them supplied with MGD and whenever there's a football game another neighbor starts a fire in his driveway, and we watch the game in his garage. I also don't have to buy tools because between the electrician and the guy who installs hardwood floors we've got most everything covered.

In a strange coincidence, our neighborhood is also in one of the best school districts around (good people = good kids and involved parents, who woulda thunk it?).

Huzzah for good neighbors.
 

Numenorean

Diamond Member
Oct 26, 2008
4,442
1
0
haha touché! i actually faced similar situations when I went to college. I was always diligent and dug out my car before the snow compacted and froze, only to find someone else's car in the spot that I dug out. My solution was to go out a couple times in the middle of the night and pour water on the door seals so they freeze and get stuck. after three layers, the ice got pretty thick.

Did you own the parking spot?

If not, then what the fuck you're an asshole.

All this bullshit parking spot claiming crap is just stupid.

The way I see it - if you own a house, the parking spots on the road in front of your house are yours to use as you need.

In some backasswards place where the roads are not large enough to have people park on both sides, I simply wouldn't buy a house there.


Take a week off for your behavior in this thread and others.

ATOT Moderator ElFenix
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
46,453
9,691
146
11/10! Lol, Red, best rant I've read here in a long, long time!! :thumbsup:

It's one of the reasons I live in country burbs, with no HOA's and few regulations of any kind. Space and controlling your own is a priceless luxury and a huge sanity saver.
 

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
The way I see it - if you own a house, the parking spots on the road in front of your house are yours to use as you need.

.
I understand why you see it that way since your view is primarily of your lower intestinal tract.
 
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Numenorean

Diamond Member
Oct 26, 2008
4,442
1
0
I understand why you see it that was since your view is primarily of your lower intestinal tract.

It's just the standard thing around here (parking, not having your head up your ass like you). Maybe in shitty places to live it isn't but I don't live there.
 

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
46,453
9,691
146
Did you own the parking spot?

If not, then what the fuck you're an asshole.

All this bullshit parking spot claiming crap is just stupid.

The way I see it - if you own a house, the parking spots on the road in front of your house are yours to use as you need.

In some backasswards place where the roads are not large enough to have people park on both sides, I simply wouldn't buy a house there.

As is often the case, you are posting in your trademark manly simpleton manner about something you literally have zero experience with.

Please stand still while I shovel some snow on you.
 
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