Major Problem With My Girlfriend - UPDATED

[Aimster]

Okay, well I have been going out with this girl for the last eight months secretly behind her parents back. The reason for this is because they come from a strong religious family and they would never allow her to date. We both liked each other and there Isn't anything anyone could do about it .. sort of my My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Everything was going perfect and I saw her pretty much all the time at school and we spent hours together every day. My plan was to go ask her father for permission if I could talk to his daughter during the summer when she turned 18 (I just turned 21 by the way). I would of done it a lot sooner, but she was afraid he would say no because in his eyes she is too young.

This Saturday my girlfriend's best friend called up my girlfriend's parents and told them everything. The reason they did this is because her best friend used to like me and I broke her heart and they have been after us ever since. Since this happend Saturday I have had no contact with her and I am blocked from her AOL/Hotmail. Her best friend & her mother are a B*T*H and I really want to hurt them because they had no right doing this at all.

Her father just called me and I tried to play it off like I have no idea what he was talking about, but I eventually gave in and said yes it is me. He told me that her best friend's family just called them and said I am threatening them sending them emails and prank calling their house. NOT TRUE at all. He wouldn't believe me.. whatever. He now wants to meet with me today at 4. Of course he is going to not like me and he will find any reason. Any advice? I am pretty much screwed I know it. I have no idea who is going to show up either so it might not be just him.

I'm pretty scared about meeting her dad. Not scared of him, but because he has the power to ruin our relationship.

As for her best friend I want to get back at her. Is this the right thing to do? I never wanted to harm anyone so much. I am mature and I won't do it, but the thought of it is there.

My girlfriend came into my life and she brought me back up and she put me back on the right track. She motivated me and ever since then my life has been great. Without her things are just going to suck.

 

[agnitrate]

First post is YAGT.

Where do all these people migrate from?

-silver

 

[Zim Hosein]

Welcome to AT Aimster

 

[Aimster]

Thanks..
I've been here for a couple months just couldn't post because I had a hotmail account.

 

[squirrel dog]

Dress nicely,be polite and truthfull.Remember first impressions go a long way.Good Luck.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

You wanted to talk to the dad anyway, and now you are forced to.

If you are indeed as mature as you say do not bear a grudge, but instead face him like a man and tell him about your plans to come and propose her when she turns 18 (if that is indeed your plan, 'normal' dating without planning to marry won't be allowed in extremely religious families anyway).

Show him you are a man and that you love her, and will do anything he wants you to do to prove your worth. And talk about your future study/job plans if you have those planned already.

Edit: Claim you are sad that girl told about it as you wanted to bring it yourself, but that you cannot hold it against her either as it was, and is, between you, the girl, and her parents.
Also do not show anger at what she did, nor grovel before her father. Show strength and resilience in your plans, don't show weakness.

 

[spaceman]

drama queen.

 

[godmare]

pics?

 

[Mister T]

Originally posted by: godmare
pics?

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: Mister T

Originally posted by: godmare
pics?

I know you two would love to see her dad, but he hasn't met him yet and therefor does not yet have pics.
Have patience!

 

[godmare]

Originally posted by: Skyclad1uhm1

Originally posted by: Mister T

Originally posted by: godmare
pics?

I know you two would love to see her dad, but he hasn't met him yet and therefor does not yet have pics.
Have patience!

lol
/me sanps fingers in dissapointment

 

[djheater]

You can't possibly have any future with this girl because of her family. If she can't extricate herself from them you have no choice but to wait for her to do so or move on.

 

[LeeTJ]

walk away.

sorry to have to say it, but sometimes it's best just to walk away.

I had a similar situation except i was in grad school and the girl i was dating was from thailand. her father had already picked someone out for her to marry. we dated about 7 months until graduation. at graduation her parents came and they took her back with them to thailand.

interesting part of the story is, her father was a Thai General and he told me that if i ever went to thailand, i'd never make it back to the US.

damn that was a bad time for me.

 

[Cenalian]

My girlfriend came into my life and she brought me back up and she put me back on the right track. She motivated me and ever since then my life has been great. Without her things are just going to suck.

Whats wrong about telling her father that??? He already loves his daughter, and knows how great she is. If you express the same feelings, he might actually believe what you are saying and allow it to continue. Explain how your life has changed since she entered it, and how you feel you may have helped her.

The most important thing is not to BS him, as you'll never get away with it. Be truthful with him, and I'm sure it will be ok.

He'll, of course, probably ask you why you didn't tell them upfront right away. Be prepared for that question



GL with it!

 

[ATLien247]

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

 

[rh71]

Hope you're meeting in a public place. I agree with what djheater said about her extricating herself first... you cannot help this. Since it sounds like you're really hung up on her, you should have a truthful talk with her dad first, see what his opinion is, then wait for her if she chooses her own path if daddy still doesn't approve.

 

[SagaLore]

Looks like you'll just have to talk to her dad. Be yourself, be honest, don't lie, show him respect and try to gain his trust.

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

I think you're pretty much screwed. First off you guys have already lied to him so even though he hasn't met you yet the first impression he has of you is that you are a liar. Second you said that you're 21 and she's not even 18? I think that's a big problem there. I can't see most dads being cool with a guy who can legaly by alcohol dating their, still underage, daughter. Doesn't look real good imo.

 

[bolsen]

All this just to date? And you're 21?
IMO, waaaay too much effort for being so young. Go get yourself a job at a bar... there is booty everywhere.

Remember, love is blind. That's not a good thing.

 

[BeauJangles]

I agree with Skyclad1uhm1's post. If he starts getting mad at you and you realize you have no chance, just go off on him about how she is 18 and they can't control her or you anymore.

 

[MacGaven]

Get ready for an ass-kicking you child molestor.

 

[DeafeningSilence]

Tell her dad the truth. He'll either believe you or he won't. He'll be less likely to believe the best friend's lies if you can demonstrate her ulterior motives.

Even if things don't go well with her dad, that doesn't mean you need to bail from the relationship. If she's 18 soon, she will have the choice to pick you over her family. He may be able to "ruin the relationship" for now, but he can't do so permanently without her going along with it.

 

[jjones]

To be honest, this all sounds ridiculous but if her father wants to meet you then I would say go along with it but only if your gf (his daughter) is present. All the interested parties should be present and perhaps you can all discuss it like adults. She's not some prize cow to be bartered over; both you and her father need to show her some respect, make sure she is included and her feelings are taken into account.

If he is not agreeable to it then I wouldn't bother meeting with him, it's most likely pointless, and you and your gf will have to decide what's best for yourselves.

 

[Zombie]

You should forget trying to hurt her friend for now. Meet her dad and just be honest he will either believe you or he won't. You can't really do much about it other than being honest with her family.

 

[Garet Jax]

From experience with a lot of friends, relationships with a person whose family's are against it never work unless the person is strong enough to stand up against their family. Even then, sometimes the cultural differences are so great that the relationship still fails.

The bottom line though is that if your girlfriend is not willing to stand up against her parents on your behalf, then I don't give the relationship much of a chance. On top of that, I would be very insulted if I had to date a girl behind her parent's back. It would tell me that she cares more about her parent's wishes and feelings than she does mine.

Maybe she is too young to realize that her mate not her parents will be her partner for life.

I say move on and find a stronger girl with more liberal parents.